[Applause]
she thought it was a boy after all
there's no reason to doubt what the good
doctor said she didn't want a boy very
very much but that can't be the full
reason behind her emotional up for to
understand that fully we have to go much
further back my mama was a young
revolutionary she was the eldest of
seven in a fledgling working class
family they'd settled what was then a
rural part of Shanghai called pudong
great-grandma ran a small tofu shop
mama recalls going there after school
and taking the leftover soybean rinds
and feeding the chickens and the pigs
China was ravaged by war and poverty at
the time her own parents came to Hong
Kong first as migrant workers looking
for a better life and brighter future my
grandpa was a traditional Shanghainese
tailor able to sew a complete cheap haul
off from scratch mama would join them
later but quickly had to start work as a
child laborer nor was then garment
factories of 1960s Hong Kong she was 13
at the time and they all squeezed three
to a bunk in the rest on the floor in
the 70 square foot subdivide flat but on
top of being a natural leader
mama was also an apt entrepreneur while
suing on the factory floor she got to
know the words of all the songs that
came on on the radio and she's sing
along at night she'd take all the
sequins that she sewn so delicately put
them on these fabulous dresses
snuck backstage to some of the fabulous
entertainment venues of the day and
tried to sell them to the performance
she caught some good orders on one such
evening she was there working away at
the makeup table when the phone rang
the stage manager went and picked up it
was the singer scheduled to perform next
she lost her voice
she had to phone in sick the stage
manager was outraged and desperate
looking around he saw my mother quickly
he ran to her
ying-ying I've heard you singing on
occasion along whatever you're working
on that dress huh finish doesn't matter
put it on you're up next
well my mama looked at the stage manager
and okay she said off I go and on stage
she went she opened her mouth the most
melodic sounds came out turned out to be
a hit with the regulars being at the
right place at the right time with the
right skills transformed her future and
from there she had entered the
entertainment industry I'm of course
full of admiration for my mama who had
the face of an angel and the guts of a
rocket launcher but the biggest source
of conflicts between us remains the fact
that I am a lesbian when she finds that
very very disturbing I knew I liked
girls from a very young age as young as
two in fact and probably before I could
articulate much in terms of language
when my mama travelled the world on
these elaborate stages singing her songs
should also always bring home these
little pink dresses for me to wear I
would storm and cry and refuse to wear
them
preferring always to wear daddy's
baseball caps and play with his soap and
brush shaving kits
when I was 13 I started dating girls
it didn't take mama long to sniff out
what was going on one night she banged
on the door my room
she said Gigi I demand to know what's
going on
she's the monitor no what's going on
with that girl that was just in my room
prior to her banging there was no way
around it I decided to come out to her
there and then I said mama that girl
that was just here I love her at that
moment she must have felt the sky come
crashing down not the best at
verbalizing her vulnerabilities she
expressed her guilt and helplessness the
only way she knew how
and that was through banging her head
against the wall such that objects from
the cupboards literally came flying down
needless to say that was a traumatic
coming-out experience you should think
that I would forever want to hide in the
closet and never come out ever again
turns out coming out to my dad is even
more difficult
of course mama phoned him up
straightaway after that episode and said
sessile gigi is a lesbian
daddy's response was nah that can't be
possible and that was that
daddy's expressed publicly countless
times that marriage is not for him but
for his little girl she ought to get
married and so when I was 32 and in a
stable relationship of seven years I
decided to try again
this time got my iPad showed father some
photos of me and my partner then and I
told him I'm in a happy relationship
daddy I'd like to give
some sort of assurance stability for my
partner he looked at the photos and
could only say this is very very wrong
he made me promise that I should tell no
one this was to remain a secret
don't whisper it to a soul I agreed that
went well for about six months however
within six months my partner and the
response my father made her burst at the
Stingers
she was bursting to tell people so who
better to tell but the Hong Kong press
so very soon daddy started getting phone
calls from local press inundated
inquiries about our relationship
he was probably in a panic and he
thought oh poor Gigi she's hopeless
she's a too hardworking and has probably
no prospects of finding a half-decent
husband now not on her own why don't I
do something for her dip into my savings
and tried to buy her one how about a
billion Hong Kong dollars that should do
it and on the news that came out who
would have thought that his promise of
mansions and a billion Hong Kong dollars
was something that over ten thousand
suitors would actually find attractive
everybody is very interested to know
about these so-called love letters that
I get from complete strangers all the
way across the world well to be honest
they're not very romantic and can hardly
actually be called love letters at all
to most men in the world I am their
ticket out of poverty and the letter
usually says hey hi GG you're so
beautiful never mind about that here's
how we'll split the money
I will only be getting very little in
fact but you do have to fund my amazing
invention and all this and I want to buy
this plot of land in my home province
etc etc there were some that just wanted
a little bit money to buy medicines for
their sick child this whole episode
really awoke in my eyes to what the
landscape was like and what everyone
thought of LGBTI rights especially some
of the early ones that are really quite
unpleasant along the lines of Oh
celebrating your relationship is
disgusting and promoting acceptance of
homosexuality
well that will turn kids gay I thought
about that and if you could change
someone's sexual orientation through
acceptance you should wonder why there
are gay people in the world at all I
mean my parents have been trying to turn
me straight for 28 years and Here I am
still a lesbian ah but there is good
news
my daddy after so many years have
finally turned around and now he's
expressed acceptance of the relationship
between me and my girlfriend Jenny the
Netherlands celebrated 30 years of
recognition of same-sex relationships
and good news is roughly the same number
of straight people still form their
population so no acceptance of gay
people hasn't turned everyone gay and
spawned the end of human civilization on
the contrary same-sex marriage seemed to
save lives in a recent study in
Scandinavia it was found out that the
legal acceptance of same-sex marriage
lowers suicides rates for LGBTI people
by a whopping 46% that seems to confirm
previous studies in the u.s. that said
the legalization of same
marriage not only lowers suicide rates
for LGBTI but for straight people as
well in that case straight teenagers by
7% we're talking about young kids
teenagers in school so they're not in a
rush to get married immediately that's
something about the prospect of a more
equal society and equal rights really
gives young people hope for the future
in Taiwan research has indicated that
homosexuals without the recognition of
same-sex marriage had showed a higher
prevalence of depression on low
self-esteem I was touched when I read
the study and there was a young victim
of domestic abuse her words were it
doesn't matter society doesn't accept
Who I love they don't want to know about
it my family doesn't accept Who I love
they don't want to hear about it and
since who I love doesn't matter it must
mean that I don't matter it's very
simple if I had to live closeted and in
secret about my love life
over time it's very very difficult to
form fair compassionate equal
relationships in fact you would be
rather desperate and tend to cling on to
the first person that seemed willing to
love you I've done it no matter how
disruptive and unhappy the relationship
I might just be willing to endure it for
the alternative a lifetime of loneliness
in a dark dank closet might just seem
too much after all aren't we all after
the same things that is permission to
love and be loved
in Hong Kong a city that 7.5 million
people call home there's no freedom to
marry for people like me
statistically we are 700,000 so if you
can picture that that's about the
population of whole of central to
Western and the entire cycle all of
these people
700,000 ours are denied marriage you
live in the closets most of us we wake
up put on clothes on just like everybody
else go to work after work go home back
into our rooms and the whole time we are
in the closet and nobody knows about our
love life if I had a rao with my
girlfriend I would have to fix myself up
and look cheery Innsbruck before going
home in case mama and daddy might find
out something is amiss but imagine if
there was marriage equality in Hong Kong
why that would all change because I no
longer have to hide in the closet and be
ashamed of who I love does that mean I
could date openly does that mean I could
actually be a dignified person and not
have to fit in to society's little molds
of perfect heterosexual couple with 2.4
rosy children yes it means I am Who I am
a lesbian and that's ok because I also
deserve to be loved I am committed and I
am determined and I will not stop until
we win marriage equality others before
me has done the same 27 jurisdictions
including new
Zealand South Africa Taiwan our friends
earlier last year but importantly also a
mighty Catholic country the Republic of
iron that we know as Ireland they voted
for marriage equality by landslide
victory in a referendum they voted for
marriage equality not in spite of their
religion but because of it because gays
and lesbians are our uncle's our aunties
our parents our brothers and sisters
they're our family
and we don't turn our backs on family
religion precisely teaches us acceptance
and love even when it's difficult even
when circumstances are poor religion has
been one of the most hurtful ways that
gays and lesbians transgender has been
excluded from the community excluded
from family and its traditions and it's
lean ages
I myself have experienced it when I go
to some churches and they asked me to
put our hands together like this and we
form a circle
GG let's pray let's pray together to God
to remove your homosexuality to remove
that which offends God remove that which
is offensive to him pray away the gay
seems to me that in circumstances like
this it is clear that marriage equality
is urgent and important because a bunch
of minorities could never have won these
27 jurisdictions if we just got together
and tried to fight it on
we need allies we need straight people
to lead the way we need straight allies
to show what means to be accepting and
to create a safe space for everybody to
come out and live to their full
potential such that human development
can thrive in all its complexity and
diversity a marriage it's not easy
in-laws tend to be crazy when they had
their own ideas about what they don't
like about you but beyond just living
together and being in love marriage is
actually so much warm in a recent
Hongkong case the judge in his judgement
said marriage is perhaps the most
sensitive of human relationships matter
of status a status conferred not upon
the couple by themselves but as
recognized by society
he's precisely for this reason that
marriage is so important because it's
honest and unambiguous when a straight
person says hey this is my girlfriend
we usually immediately know what he
means when I say hey there's my
girlfriend they say oh yes best buddies
right go shopping together watch sitcoms
together no I mean this is my partner
partner like business partner like
tennis partner do projects together know
away with the euphemisms I want her to
be my wife someone to be part of my
family someone to spend Christmas
dinners together Chinese New Year
together someone to grow old with in
sickness and in health
let's take a stand for marriage equality
so that everybody can celebrate marriage
in its full capacity warts and all
[Applause]