-Mmm, oh yeah, that's good. That's a very good breast implant.
-SHUT UP!
Ha! I'm back from the dead! And I had all my rotting body parts replaced!
Uh... what about that?
What are you talki-- DAMMIT!
All right! Now that I've got everything fixed, I'm gonna... S--T!
Okay, NOW I've got everything fixed.
Your face still looks really messed up.
That's my normal face, dick.
Oh. Well, in that case, I'm gonna kick your stupid pink frosted sprinkled donut's ass...
..with my new favorite food, the...
eggroll!
If you think your crappy-crap eggroll can beat my pink frosted sprinkled donuts of awesome,
then you're on, cockgoblin!
[metal guitar riff]
Let's see your stupid donut be a whistle!
All right, it's time for me to blow you, donut.
[blows]
[whistles]
[buzzer goes off]
Whatever. F--k you guys!
All right, let's do this, eggroll!
Uh, sorry, Ian's mom.
[screams]
[buzzer goes off]
How about a-
Whoa, how'd you get that?
I blew pork all over your mom's face.
What?!
Let's just do a fake ID.
Okay!
Hello sir, I would like to purchase this alcomahol. Here is my ID to prove that I am of legal drinking age.
Nah, I don't need to see that. You've got a beard! You gotta be what, 50? 70 years old?
Uh... you know it!
[bell dings]
Good afternoon sir. I would like to purchase this fine pornographic magazine.
ID?
Sure, I've got it right here.
[screams]
[buzzer goes off]
I bet my sexy donut can be a... I can't point. Point for me.
Yeah! A hot prom date!
Let me get a picture of you and your date.
Okay!
You've gotta be kidding me.
Well, at least I'm getting laid, Mom!
Finally!
[bell dings]
Next!
Where's your date?
Well, the line was really long, so I ate her.
Nice!
[bell dings]
Ooh!
Ooh?
Ooh!
Ooh?
Ooh.
OOH!
Ooh...
Ooh?!
Ooh! Ooh!
Oooooooh!
Ooh.
OOH!!!
Ooh!
Ooh.
Ooh...
Ooh!
Ooh.
Ooh!
Ooh-hoo-hoo!
Ooh-hoo.
Ooh?
A wedding ring.
Ooh.
Will you marry me?
Oh my god!
Huh?
Do you like it?
Ohh!
[buzzer goes off]
Whatever. Not the first time I've been barfed on after proposing.
Do you have the ring?
Yeah, it's right here.
Ew! The wedding's off!
[buzzer goes off]
Babe, wait!
[chewing sounds]
Hey, BITCH! Let's do a ------- ----!
Ohmygod, yeah.
All right, you ready for this, donut? I know I am.
[grunting]
[sigh]
Mmm!
[bell dings]
I've never done this outside before, but whatever. #YOLO!
[grunting]
[laughs]
Ohnononono!
[grunting]
What the f--king f--k!
[buzzer goes off]
I bet my eggroll would make great wings!
Yeah, and I bet your ass would make a great... ass!
[mumbles] I'm so stupid.
All right eggrolls, give me the power of the Chinese dragon!
Dragon power!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
[buzzer goes off]
Anthony might have failed, but my pink little friends won't let me down!
-screams-
[music plays] I believe I am able to fly.
And that I can go up to the sky. Sometimes I think about it all the time,
to spread my wi- arms and fly up in the sky.
[groans]
[buzzer goes off]
I knew I should have voted against gay marriage!
How about a bandage for a life-threatening wound?
Okay!
[screams]
All right, donut! Let's block some heavy bleeding.
[cocks gun]
What? Why don't you just try that on yourself?
Meh. I don't feel like it.
[gun shot]
It's not working!
[buzzer goes off]
Oh well. It looks like you're gonna die and I'm gonna win Food Battle this year!
[evil laugh]
But you can't win Food Battle unless that announcer guy says so, and he died last year.
What are you talking about? He's right over there.
Hey guys!
But that's impossible! I saw him die!
Well no duh, idiot. Nothing makes sense in Food Battle!
Oh yeah. [yells] Mike Tyson.
Yes! [evil laugh]
Haha! You didn't kill me! You killed your mom in a mask!
No!
Yeah! And now it's time for you to die! But there's one more thing. I'm not Anthony. I'm Ian!
But how?! I mean, I know I'm Ian, but this isn't a mask!
You're such an idiot, Ian! Earlier, when you were knocked out, I woke up...
..and I dragged your body to a laboratory!
Then, I had our brains switched!
So I am you and you are me!
No! No!!
Oh, and I also had your heart switched with your stupid pink frosted sprinkled donut!
[laughs]
Well, that's no biggie, 'cuz I know for a fact that pink frosted sprinkled donuts...
..make great hearts, you stupid id-
[yells] Waffle crisp.
Haha, bitch!
Ian! Or Anthony! I don't know, that whole thing was really confusing.
Anyway, you've just won Food Battle 2012. What are you going to do now?
I'm gonna try a new body part switcher!
Oh boy, a new body part switcher! Can I come?
[grunts]
Why would you wanna switch it to that?
You'll see.
[laughs]
Cat d--k.
H-h-h-hey there kids, it's Barney! To see bloopers from this video and alternate scenes,
click the link in the description below!
And don't forget to check out the new sexy Food Battle shirt!
So basically, if you don't go to smosh.com right now,I'm gonna hide in your bed,
, and then I'm gonna bite your buttcheek off!
Thanks for subscribing! But seriously though, who won?
Was it- I mean it was Ian's body, but Anthony's br- I don't know.
All this thinking's making me tired. I'm going to bed.
-chomp-
OH MY GOD MY BUTTCHEEK!