A zombie apocalypse is inevitable- at least
if humanity lives long enough for evolution to have its way.
In the smash hit The Last of Us, the world is ravaged by a fungal infection which begins
attacking humans, turning them into brain-dead pseudo-zombies who exist only to further spread
the infection. But this scenario is far more science than science fiction,
and the terrifying part is that this real fungus could begin infecting
humans- and Gwyneth Paltrow may be to blame for the end of the world.
Ophiocordyceps unilateralis, or just cordyceps or zombie-ant fungus,
is a special type of fungus that isn't content to simply munch on dead things like the rest
of its fungus brother and sisters. Cordyceps instead wants to accelerate the process... by
making things dead faster. This terrifying fungus evolved to attack ants and spiders,
leeching on to them and slowly draining them of all their life-sustaining fluids and nutrients.
But what's truly horrifying is just how smart this fungus is.
Ants are its preferred host, but ants are pretty surprisingly tidy creatures. Whenever
an ant dies it's dumped in a special part of the ant nest where waste of
all types is deposited. These chambers also happen to be rich in other fungi
and bacteria which attack organisms that might be harmful to the ants. In a way,
the ants have developed both a sanitary system and preventative medicine. Some ant colonies are
even able to detect individuals infected with a variety of pathogens and preemptively drag
that individual out far away from the colony to die where it can't infect anybody else.
But cordyceps have outsmarted the ants.
This zombie fungus knows that it's unlikely to infect many ants if it sucks its host dry
and then simply leaves it to die where its body can be disposed of. Like other parasitic fungi,
cordyceps need to 'bloom' and disperse infectious spores over a wide area. Typically,
ant disposal systems make this impossible or significantly reduce the effectiveness of a bloom.
And that's where the mind control comes in.
Rather than leave its host to die wherever it happens to fall,
this evil fungus takes over the host's mind and compels it to perch somewhere high up above the
ground. Typically this will be somewhere near where other ants roam, with the infected ant
grabbing on to the trunk of a tree or a tall plant and then simply... waiting. However,
the fungus is smart enough to make the host look for a humid environment where its parasite will
have the best chance of growing. The fungus then drains the ant of all nutrients and when done,
begins to bloom, bursting out of its ant host body. The fungal bloom then
explodes with parasitic spores which rain down from above on unsuspecting insects.
Ants may have developed preventative medicine,
but this fungus has learned how to wage biological war from above.
The most terrifying discovery that scientists have recently made though is that cordyceps
may not be mind controlling their hosts at all. When inspected, infected ants are found
to have fungal growths that penetrate into nearly every part of their bodies- but while
researchers expected to see the fungus penetrate deep into the ant's brain in order to control it,
they were shocked to discover that there was only a slight presence along the brain.
Instead, they realized that the fungus is penetrating deep into the ant's limbs. The
implications are... terrifying, because this might mean that instead of mind controlling a host ant,
the fungus is leaving the ant's brain alone and simply hijacking its body.
Imagine being fully aware of everything you're doing, of the fungus slowly covering
and penetrating every tissue in your body, but unable to stop it from forcing you to do
whatever it wishes. What if the zombies in The Last of Us aren't brainless monsters after all,
but fully aware that they are attacking and biting other people! Imagine being one of the
mushroom zombies trapped by runaway fungal growth in a wall for decades,
fully aware of everything going on around you and just watching the hours turn into days,
days into weeks, weeks into years... and never being able to so much as shout for help.
Just... waiting. And watching.
This is the nightmarish reality that ants and spiders infected
by cordyceps face every day. But could cordyceps infect humans? No... and yes.
The thing about zombie fungi is that they are extremely specialized organisms,
so specialized in fact that one strain of the fungus can only infect a specific species of
ant or other insect. This has limited the growth of each strain of cordyceps,
and in all likelihood prevented an all-out ant apocalypse, which is pretty good news considering
how surprisingly important these tiny creatures are for our world. More importantly though,
this inherent infection limit also limits just how successful each strain of the fungus is,
which helps close the door on the type of genetic mutations that drive evolution.
But it doesn't shut the door all the way. More on that later.
Every single breath you take is full of fungal spores. When you walk out into nature,
you're inhaling a venerable buffet of spores from all different species. Frankly,
it's a miracle that advanced life is possible at all given all the possible
infection vectors one single breath exposes you to. But thanks to our immune system,
an infection is incredibly unlikely. Specialization amongst different species
of infectious fungi also makes it impossible for them to affect us.
Humans also enjoy one other advantage shared by most mammals- we run hot. Evolutionarily speaking,
mammals were an extreme long shot and frankly, it's a miracle that it paid off. We run much
higher body temperatures than other animals, and that gives us a host of advantages over
them. It also means we have to consume a frankly absurd amount of food though to keep our bodies
running. But that high running temperature also means that we're basically immune to infection
by a lot of very nasty organisms, including fungi which could try to mind control us.
Most fungus loves warmth and humidity, and the human body is great at producing both- some of
you only need to look in between your toes or under your arm pit for proof of just how much
fungus loves parts of the human body. But growing inside your body is another matter altogether,
because most fungus taps out at 98.6 freedom units (37 C). At these temperatures fungus
wilts faster than the Russian army in the face of light opposition.
In The Last of Us, a new variant of cordyceps infected humanity via its food supply- and
this is both the most and least realistic parts of the show. A global infection from
one single origin source is quite possible thanks to the interconnected nature of our
world today- Covid took the world by storm within weeks of its discovery,
and everyone loved it so much that it made multiple global encores
that last to this day. However, Covid was transmitted via the swap of bodily fluids,
and according to some, by 5g cellular towers. We're kidding, no need to blow up our comments
about covid being transmitted by 5g towers, we know that's a conspiracy
theory. As many astute facebook scientists know, 5G towers only transmit monkeypox.
A simple sneeze, or even just rubbing your eyes,
nose, or mouth was enough to leave infectious residue all over the place.
But cordyceps needed to be transmitted via the food supply, apparently living off plant
matter until it reached a human host. And if you thought that was far-fetched, think again,
because if you go and take a look in your refrigerator right now and start reading labels,
you may be shocked to discover just how far your food has traveled to reach your face hole.
The United States is the world's largest food exporter, leading the way in exporting corn,
soybeans, and wheat. Its annual exports number at $118.3 billion,
and entire countries are reliant to the point of famine on the food exports of the US and
other major producers of food. Leading the way in export of fish is China, with Indonesia exporting
half of the world's entire palm oil supply, and Thailand exporting a third of the global
rice supply. Food exports are such a big deal in the modern, interconnected world, that Russia-
never shy about finding reasons to be a global super-villain- remains under such intense global
pressure that it's forced to allow Ukraine to export its wheat and other agricultural products.
With the US exporting 50.5% of the world' soy beans, imagine if a soy bean-loving
mind control fungus infected just one farmer's field. Soon it would reach all over the planet.
However, that's the most realistic part. The least realistic part is becoming
infected via ingestion. The stomach's acidity and low pH balance is enough to kill most fungi,
and humans regularly consume fungus for health reasons. Many supplements and probiotics are
loaded with fungus, and humanity consumes both by the millions of metric tons. And
if you're specifically worried about cordyceps infecting humanity, then worry not as Gwyneth
Paltrow sells a cordyceps-infused $200 breakfast smoothie on her Goop website.
But is Gwyneth Paltrow helping usher in the end of the world? Is she on the side of the cordyceps?
Is Gwyneth Paltrow secretly an assembly of fungal growths in the form of a neurotic,
delusional blonde woman selling people useless crap for hundreds of dollars a pop?
The answer to all these questions could be, probably is, “yes”.
For now, cordyceps can't infect humans for a variety of reasons, including that we run too
hot for it to handle. But evolution is a powerful force, and only organisms nimble enough to respond
to outside pressures have made it to this day. Today, the world is warming thanks to the
generous donation by humanity of absurd amounts of greenhouse gases directly to the atmosphere.
As the world heats, organisms must learn to adapt or die- and cordyceps could adapt too.
Already we are seeing organisms adapting to rising temperatures, and formerly tropical diseases are
now spreading far outside of their historic geographic boundaries. Transmission vectors
like mosquitoes are taking full advantage of global warming by expanding into even
greater ranges than before and staying active for longer. Mosquito spread has actually been
linked to the spread of diseases like malaria, dengue fever, chikungunya, and West Nile virus.
What's especially troublesome is that these diseases and cordyceps tend to inhabit
environments were until recently, human numbers were historically very low. This limited their
ability to spread, and for cordyceps, less exposure to humans meant less chance for a
natural mutation to lead to infection. Somewhere out there in the sands of time there could have
been a strain of cordyceps which accidentally mutated with the ability to infect humans,
but because none were around it never got a chance to and died out. Or that
particular mutation could still be coming, or could perhaps repeat- with evolution,
give it enough time and a whole lot of nightmare outcomes become possible.
With the world warming, these diseases are spreading out of their normal range
and coming in contact with more humans, and the fact that we keep building cities
closer and closer to untouched wilderness is only hastening the process. Already the
risk of fungal diseases such as those caused by aspergillosis, histoplasma,
blastomyces, and coccidiosis is on the rise- and it's not just because of global warming.
Our widespread use of antibiotics also do a good job of wiping out competitors to fungi,
giving them a clean sheet to work with as they take over our bodies.
But fungal infections spreading from human to human would be pretty unlikely,
hence why cordyceps needs to literally explode out of its host to spread spores
and why mushroom zombies bite people in The Last of Us. A fungal infection should
be relatively easy to contain- but if that were the case, then why is science failing to contain
the spread of a very real fungus which has started infecting humanity on a wide scale?
Candida auris is a relatively new fungus first identified in 2009. Unlike other fungi, this
one absolutely loves warm temperatures, and has begun infecting the blood stream of humans where
it causes severe, potentially life-threatening infection. Its cousins are actually pretty common,
especially in places like hospitals where they are responsible for irritating but
not life-threatening yeast infections. However, C. auris is much more aggressive,
and can be spread from person to person relatively easy leading to widespread outbreaks.
To make matters worse, the fungus is resistant to many drugs and traditional treatments. Clinicians
are forced to treat the symptoms, helpless to do anything about the actual infection,
leaving it up to the body's immune system to fight off. Research is under way for treatment options,
but fungal infection is one of the most underfunded parts of medical research
around the world, with only an estimated 1.5% of all research funds dedicated to this area.
C. auris literally exploded onto the scene, popping up in multiple continents nearly
simultaneously. Scientists suspect it was always here among us, but rising global
temperatures were exactly the change that the fungus needed to make its move to humans. It's
been reported in over thirty countries to date, and while infection presents no serious risk
to healthy people, it can be deadly for the elderly or those who are immunocompromised.
Fungal infections seem to be set to rise over time, and they come with a double shot of bad
news. First, there's very little incentive for pharmaceutical companies to research treatments.
With fungi like C. auris only presenting a real threat to the elderly or immunocompromised,
a company has little financial incentive to develop a treatment which will have a very limited
market. For those affected, good luck we hope you don't die, but there's just no profit to be made
in saving your life. And hopefully while we ignore dangerous fungal infections, they don't evolve
to pose a serious risk to healthy people. The invisible hand of the free market strikes again!
The second problem with treating fungal infections is that fungi are much more closely related to
humans than to viruses or bacteria. This makes treating them difficult, because the same
treatments which destroy a fungus can also destroy healthy human cells. The same drug which might be
effective in preventing you from turning into a fungi-controlled zombie, could also be killing
you- or weakening you to the point that you simply acquire some other, equally deadly infection. It
seems like if humanity doesn’t get lucky, we might just be screwed by the invisible hand of nature.
Now go check out US Military Actually Has A Zombie Plan, or click this other video instead!