- [Narrator] You might notice that recently,
we've been really pushing the limits
of our endurance here on GCN.
It started with the 10,000 calorie challenge,
James then recreated the first ever stage
of the first ever Tour de France,
and Chris?
Well, Chris did ride Leadville,
but that was for GNBN.
So it doesn't really count.
Anyway.
- There have, however, been a few whisperings
back at the office that maybe
we're starting to lose our touch a little bit.
Getting a little bit slow.
Like all marathon, and no sprint.
- All series, and, no? So...
- All picnic and no sandwich.
All birthday no cake, all...
- Yeah, they probably got the picture there.
Anyway, we thought to try and combat this,
we'd actually go old-school.
Have a full blown race
over just 20 kilometers.
From here in beautiful Bristol
right back to our home town of Bath
and one of our favorite pubs.
- There is of course a forfeit for the loser.
They will be getting a full spray tan
and having their nails done.
They'll also possibly get
their eyebrows and their eyelashes done
if the budget stretches to it.
That's for the Christmas party in December.
- Yeah, and don't worry
we will show you all that
at the Christmas show.
You ready?
- I'm pretty nervous.
- Yeah, you should be. - I'd quite fancy a
spray tan actually.
(laughs) - Yeah, I really am nervous.
Right, because of that,
I have brought my aero bike, my Canyon Aeroad.
And I've even gone so far
as to take the water bottle cage off,
to try and E-count as much speed,
(phone notification rings)
Sorry guys, sorry, amateur hour.
I'll put it on silent.
Actually, wait a minute.
There's a message from Ollie.
- Oh no, what's he said?
- Hello team, sounds like you need an adjudicator.
Now, as exciting as riding from Bristol to Bath is,
why don't we spice it up a little bit?
And make it a little more challenging.
To begin with, I've inserted something
into each of your bar ends.
- Okay, let's go have a look.
- Right, okay. - In our bar ends?
- Can't get much in a bar end.
- Great, well, seen as you've been enjoying
riding off roads so much recently,
your trick for this test is that
you're not allowed to ride on roads.
In fact, for every 500 meters that your tires touch tarmac,
you'll be given a one-minute penalty.
Enjoy.
- Sweet, (foreign language)
This worked out rather well.
- Map and compass.
Hmm.
- James, you like an adventure.
But can you actually read a map?
Your trick is that you must navigate your way to the finish
using only an ordinance survey map, a compass of the sun.
If you use a GPS device or your phone,
then you'll be given a 20-minute penalty.
- Okay then, right.
Thanks.
God, that's a real map?
Where's Bristol.
Ah!
- Don't worry sir, you can keep that
rather erotic photo for yourself.
But I wouldnt worry that you wouldn't be able
to do this challenge without a teammate and,
well Lordy's unavailable.
And Lasty refuses to race with you every again
after the epic defeat on Sacralo Boras Park.
Team Lusty.
But don't worry, I found you someone else.
A rider with loads of experience, a national champion.
Should be arriving any moment now.
- I think I might actually keep that one.
Um, well, for a national champ, always a good thing.
Experience, could be one or two ways.
Could mean really good, or really old.
Oh God. - My boys!
CGM is it?
Looking for a trip to Bath are we?
Or should I say, (strong British accent)
Bath?
Hey yo, hop aboard, I'll take you the scenic route.
- No no no no no wait, no not the scenic route.
This is a proper race Steve.
- Race?
- Yeah yeah, a proper race.
I'm going to need full gas, 100% commitment.
And there are no motors.
Have you ever ridden a tandem before?
- Well I found this antique in the shop.
I thought it'd be a great way to get there.
- I guess for balance, after those tricks,
I have to give you a bit of a treat now.
So, we're going to have an inner tube race.
As soon as you've replaced your front inner tube,
well you can get on your way.
And the quicker you do it, the quicker
the time advantage you have.
Go.
- Steve, hey.
We need to change inner tube - Wow.
- And fast. - God.
- Chris, before you start mate, can I borrow your phone?
- Yeah, sure.
Just don't drop it.
- Yeah, they didn't say I couldn't draft
in a teammate did they?
- What?
- Less complicated he says.
- Is that Lloydy?
- Lovely comlextion man.
- There's no releases on this Steve.
- Yeah.
- Have you got a spanner?
- Sorry?
- I can't get it off.
It's too tight on the rim.
(laughter)
Has anyone got a tire lever?
- There's a bike shop just over there, come on.
Hop on.
- Hop? Hop? - Yes!
- I haven't hopped since I was 10!
(laughter)
Can't even hardly get my leg over man.
- I don't want to know.
Ready?
- Yeah. Kind of. - Whoa, whoa.
- Ah, Look at the stay of it.
And go.
- Ah, the Lord Nelson, a fine maritime vessel.
I've waited a lifetime to see this.
And I'm going to take it in and all of its beauty.
Especially, as the sun...
(phone chimes)
Oh what's this?
Ah, and it's a mess.
From James and Hank.
He needs my help.
ASAP.
This better be worth it.
- Whoa
- Hiked in the saddle.
(Laughter)
Whoa!
- Here we go mate, here we go.
- Ah!
- Right.
You stay with the bike, I'll get a spanner.
- Crinky.
What's the rush?
- Hi guys, a bit random.
You don't happen to have a 15-mil spanner
I could borrow do you?
Thank you very much, cheers.
- We're goin' for slicks now, are we?
God, you really are in a rush, aren't you?
- Oh no, here we go.
Alright then.
What's the problem mate?
- I'm glad you're here mate, I need,
- What's up?
- I need your help to, well,
I need you to fix my inner tube.
- An inner tube?
- Yeah.
- You're jokin'?
- No, you're so much faster. - I was enjoyin' a coffee
- I know, I'm sorry mate. - over there under the sun.
- It's not even flat.
- No, but, it's for a race, I need,
- Right, okay.
So, what we're going to do today,
- No no no no.
- We're going to change the...
- John! John! Seriously no presenting.
- Oh alright.
- It's just all about speed.
- Right, okay.
- Yeah.
- Right, well, in that case.
- That was good teamwork huh Steve?
- Excellent, excellent working man.
(upbeat music)
- There's appears to be no thorns, or glass
or shards of metal in your tire.
- John, think speed.
- Okay Steve.
We're on mate.
Let's do this.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa step away from the cockpit young man.
I'm in charge here.
- What?
- Hop on the back.
Take that.
We are one rock.
- Steve, don't do this to me mate.
- Come on.
- We've got Bath to head for.
Or should I say,
(strong British accent)
"Bath?"
(laughter)
- Whoa.
- Oh God, it's the other way.
- Let's go! Yes!
- Okay, right turn.
- Oh.
- Right Steve, right!
- We can do this.
Come on.
Hey!
- Steve! Steve!
Oh my god, have you ever been on road before?
- Wee!
- Okay right.
- Now we're motorin'.
Full gas ahead.
- No no no no, sharp left.
- You did you say full gas?
- Left turn.
- I think I can get my knee down here.
- Oh my god! Steve!
- Go! Go! Go!
Ahh!
- Oh, right that's it.
No tarmac.
Lift it up.
Cross the road.
Don't get run over.
Back on the tiles.
- Right.
I've got to head
in that direction.
- Yes, with all the best though,
I'm sure I'll see you in the office later on.
And we'll run through, actually,
on how to change your rear tire.
- Excuse me guys, how do you get to Bath?
So where do I?
Where do I go?
Does this road head to Bath?
- First left, first right,
then third left, then second right.
- Straight to Bath, thank you!
Public, love 'em.
- Hi Ollie.
Yeah, you'll never guess what I saw this morning.
Well, I saw Lord Nelson.
That's right yeah the three-masted one.
The two Cummings diesel engines.
Then Hank messaged me.
One second!
- Opie?
- Excuse me.
- Ollie, I'll have to call you back.
Opie's come along and he's..
No, I'll have to call you back mate.
What on earth are you doing?
I've helped Hank early on.
He sent me a message from your phone.
And I had to change a inner tube for him.
- I haven't got time to tell you more
but I need to borrow your wheels.
- You need to borrow my wheels?
- No one said your tires couldn't touch the tarmac,
only mine.
- All I want to do is go off and see the Lord Nelson.
One of the finest vessels of the Seven Seas.
- I hope I'm getting paid overtime for this man!
- Worlds End Lane,
must be right.
Oh, so much style.
Over the style.
Dead end.
Dead end, I wish they would let me know.
- Stop the bike!
Stop the bike Steve!
Stop it!
Stop here, pull over!
- Ah!
- Right, that's it.
I'm getting on the front.
You're on the back.
- ♪ And we were singing ♪
(foreign language)
(car engine revving)
- I've created a traffic jam, oh no.
- Hello, mom, yeah well, I teamed up
with a lovely young man from Bristol I have.
- Sorry.
Sorry.
- It's like the bloody Tour de France.
- I mean, how many people can I annoy in one day?
(phone chimes)
- Oh, another message.
It's been non-stop today.
- Alright everybody, you seem to be struggling a fair bit.
So, I've decided to give you a treat.
Well, one of you anyway.
Whoever can lose the most weight off their bike,
will get five minutes off their total time.
Go.
- Right.
I can just about manage that.
One full bottle.
See you later.
- Pull over mate, come here.
- What's up?
- Ollie just sent a new message.
Whoever loses the most weight,
gets five minutes taken off their total time.
- Lose weight?
I left my bottle behind.
- Come on saddle up. Paddle hard enough.
Come on.
- Oh, oh Steve, oh!
- You dropped your phone!
- Oh, can you get it for me Steve?
- You dropped your phone!
Stop! Wait!
- I'll see you later mate.
- Whoa, whoa!
- This is a very bad idea.
I'm going to lose my gears too.
Here goes nothing.
See quite to boot,
anything annoys me,
is I know in a minute, I am going to be on the tarmac.
And I hate nothing more than riding
my mountain bike on the tarmac.
Especially, if you start to go downhill.
(heavy breathing)
I might need a break.
Ah!
- Yep, that's way too sketchy.
(laughter)
(car horns)
- Sorry.
- Think I'm about to get aero on this thing.
And I wish I hadn't been wearing cycling shoes.
- No gears.
Ah!
(kittens meowing)
- Two kittens.
- Alright, look guys.
I promise you this is much safer than where you were.
- Alright, I've got about
a K and half to go.
I recon where this is where Steve
would really have come into his own.
- Just to get to the downhill.
Come on.
- Ah, I will not get a fake tan!
I will not get a fake tan!
Although, if I could get my nails done, that would be nice.
- Speed.
Think speed.
- I can see the sign.
- Okay, am I there?
Am I there?
Am I first?
I can't see anyone.
- Right, cheers guys.
- Cheers team.
- Yeah, grateful.
- I'm still nervous though.
(phone ringing)
It's Ollie.
- What does he got to got to say?
- Hello mate.
You alright?
- Yeah.
- Where are you?
You in the pub?
- I'm inside.
- Come outside.
Cycling's all about being outdoors.
You know, wind in you hair.
- Do all that talking to you on video messenger.
Like a saw, like a jigsaw.
- [All] Come on.
- It's not that cold.
- Hello boys.
(laughter)
- It's time for the results.
- Oh no.
And all making it.
- Technically, we didn't all make it.
- Opie.
Technically, you weren't allowed to ride on any tarmac
using your own tires.
- I'm not using my own tires Ollie.
- Ha! - However, due to a genius
technicality you will be awarded no penalties.
- Good work.
- Very happy.
- Fair play.
- James.
- Ollie.
- You did get slightly lost - (laughter)
on your way here, but you did manage
to make it navigating only with a map and compass.
- That's impressive.
- Commendable.
- And Sy.
- You appear to have lost Steve.
(laughter)
Where is Steve?
(foreign language from phone)
- I can't believe Sy stiched me up.
I'm just making some plans for the field.
- God his phone bill's going to be monumental.
(laughter)
- Well, the times before any bonuses or
penalties are awarded are as follows.
Chris, you managed to get here in one hour, 37 minutes.
- I did.
- Nice one, Opie.
- It's not the fastest 20 kilometers of my life.
(laughter)
- James, you managed to get here in
one hour,
five minutes.
- [All] Oh!
- Dude! You're not just a pretty face!
(laughter)
- That's great mate.
- Simon.
- Oh God.
- You managed to get here in one hour,
eleven minutes.
However, you did manage to also lose the most weight
- Yes!
- From your bike, giving you a five minute bonus
making your time, one hour, six minutes.
- Wow.
- Well done.
(laughter)
- This is tight.
- Meaning, provisionally the times place
Opie in third place, James first, and Sy second.
- [All] Oh!
- I've always wanted a little bit to tan.
- Alas, extenuating circumstances have
subsequently come to light.
It's emerged that during the challenge, Chris saved not one,
not two, but the lives of three kittens.
- It's true.
- Such heroism can only be rewarded
with a 15-minute bonus per kitten.
- Oh wow.
(laughter)
I like it.
- Making Opie's time 52 minutes.
(laughter)
(clapping)
- Sy loses the challenge by just one minute.
(laughter)
- What kind of nails you going for?
(laughter)
- This is too good.
- How you feel about that, huh Sy?
- If you enjoyed this video, please give it a thumbs up.
If you want to watch anymore videos on GCN,
there's one on screen now.
Click to it.
(laughter)