Hey everybody.
Happy Thursday.
Now before I get into the question that I am going to answer today.
Which is a good one.
I wanted to let you all know that something new is happening.
And I'm actually really excited about it.
I am launching a Patreon account.
And it's launching today, like right now.
Because, for many of you who don't know,
And haven't been following me for a really long time,
I quit my full time job back in March.
Now I still see my clients in my private practice.
But I don't do that full time.
What I do full time, I'm doing right now.
Hey.
And Patreon is a great way for me to keep doing this.
And keep doing it full time.
Because I have to be honest and not be like all sappy and weird about it.
But I really feel like this is what I was born to do.
This is what I'm meant to do.
And together we can really change the way that people access mental health information.
And that's really friggen awesome.
So if you would be able to give,
You can check out the Patreon,
I'll link to it at the end of this video.
Because I have put together some what I think are really cool rewards,
For those of you who are able to give.
And that can be anything from one on one hang outs.
To hang outs with other members of our community.
To getting T-Shirts and letters from me.
And all sorts of cool things like that.
So check it out.
And if you are able to give, that would be wonderful.
And it would help me help more people.
And that's really what I love doing.
So without further adieu,
Today's question is.
And I get a lot of these,
So I have kind of squished it together to make it like all-encompassing,
Because many of you have told me recently that you are losing your therapist.
So the question that I wrote down is,
'What to do when a therapist leaves, or if you are forced to switch.'
Because I have heard from many of you,
In different areas and different parts of the world that either,
a) You only get x number of sessions and so you are forced to end, you're not ready.
Or b) A therapist says
'You know, we've been working together for like a year and a half,'
'And you're not making any progress, and so I feel like we need to terminate.'
Or they are moving.
Or they are having a baby.
Or something is happening and so they are leaving.
Or you're leaving for school.
And this could be really really difficult.
And I know I have talked about this periodically.
But I want to just focus in on what do we do when we lose our therapist,
And that relationship is gone.
Because I've gone through that myself and I know it can be really difficult.
I actually unfortunately was going through it when my dad passed away.
And she was nice enough to like do phone sessions.
But she had moved. Like, she was gone.
And that was really hard.
So what do we do?
First of all,
If you have,
And these are all contingent upon your situation because everyone's situation is different.
But if you have the time,
Set up time to actually process through it with your therapist before they leave.
If they are having a baby they know that way in advance.
If they are moving, usually you know that in advance.
And if you know you have a limited number of sessions,
Make sure you at least give yourself the last two or three to just talk about it.
Feel it.
Be in it.
Like, experience it.
And know that that's okay.
It's part of kind of what I think and what helps me work on it myself,
Is like it's part of the grieving process.
And part of what I do with my therapist,
And part of what I do with my own clients,
Is lets take a look back on all of the wonderful work that we have done together.
What are some of the things that you never thought possible that we are already doing?
How far have we come together?
Lets look back on that and like applaud for all of the hard fuckin work that we did.
And be like 'Yes! This is amazing!'
So take time to do that.
And then take time to say goodbye.
Things that you are going to miss.
Things that you really enjoyed.
And when you have to leave,
Lets say that they are moving, having a baby, something and they are referring you out.
Make sure you give yourself time,
To get to know that therapist a little bit before your other therapist is gone.
I always encourage many of my clients to leave extra two weeks if you can,
Between cancelling one and starting another where you have a little overlap.
Because then, lets say they are leaving me and going to someone else,
I can contact this new therapist.
And give them a little run down of the things we have been working on,
Some of our goals.
If it's okay with you, obviously, you have to sign off on all that stuff.
Just so you know.
But I can also fax over,
With your permission,
Some of our treatment plans and some of the goals that we have been working on.
And some of my notes.
So that there is not such a big lag in getting back into what you're working on.
And that gives you a little time to get comfortable with them,
And have like a smooth transition.
So if doesn't feel so abrupt, where I'm like 'Bye',
And then you kind of fall off the face of the earth.
You feel like 'I don't have anybody. I don't know.'
And then you are making calls to make appointments.
I don't like that.
I like you to already have appointments going for a couple of weeks.
And then you transition out.
That's what I would encourage you.
And I would also,
The last thing I guess, my last little tip.
Is to ask your therapist if it's possible for you to keep in touch periodically.
Set some strict boundaries around how often you can email or call.
But see if every once in a while if you are like,
'Yay, I just graduated. Can I let you know about that.'
Or, 'Yay, I finally did that one thing we had been working on forever.'
'Can I email you and let you know.'
Because that's,
I find as a therapist,
That's fine with me.
Every therapist is different.
But it's important for you to ask so that you know that they are still out there somewhere,
And you may be able to still be in contact with them a little bit.
But just do yourself a favour and feel it.
Losing a therapist sucks.
It's really hard.
And we feel like we are getting passed around, it's even harder.
But know that you are worth it.
You'll find a therapist who can stick with you for the long haul.
Who can work through all of these bad things that are happening with you.
And help you come out the other side a better and stronger person.
And maybe this this therapist just helped renew your faith in therapy as a whole.
But the next one is the one that's going to
Help you get to the place where you are going.
And I think that that's something to kind of keep in mind.
Because people are in our lives for different reasons.
If we get too hung up on losing this one person,
We can't see how amazing maybe the next person is.
And like always,
If you are starting with a new therapist,
Make sure you have that good feeling with them,
And know that you don't have to keep seeing them if you don't like them.
Okay.
I hope that helps.
I hope that puts your mind at ease a little bit.
And go get them.
Because you are all worth it.
And finding the right therapist can really be an amazing thing.
I love you all.
You can click here to hop on over to my Patreon account.
Because like I said it would mean a lot to me if you could donate.
Obviously if you can't afford to,
You are in no way obligated.
None of this is going to change if you don't.
But if you are able to,
I've set up a bunch of cool rewards.
And I will put the link here.
I love you all.
See you on Saturday.
Bye!
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