Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this sick World.
‘Hi there Henry, I’m here!’
We’re looking at Yeti- Giant of the 20th Century
‘Yeti? Never heard of one’
Which resembles a Jack Black in a Tina Turner wig.
The creature is defrosted from a big block of ice, initially with flame throwers,
then by taking it up to 10,000 feet in a greenhouse suspended under a helicopter
and shocking it’s brain,
'Try stimulating his brain with electric shocks.'
'There's some activity, very irregular sir.'
Because God forbid you should do that on the ground.
‘The Yeti is alive’
Frankly, the ice thing is the only concession that’s made to this being about a Yeti.
'Like I told you before, to me, he's only a monster.'
Other than that, this is yet another King Kong rip off,
in which the Yeti is used as a mascot for an oil company.
‘There’s never been a publicity stunt like this before’
Except in the King Kong remake the year before which uses exactly the same plot,
but I’m sure that’s a coincidence.
‘Will you stop this?!’
It also features Kong’s fear of flash photography.
The ridiculous leg shot from APE.
and the treacherous love interest from Mighty Peking Man.
'I know what a Worm you are now.'
The only thing that makes Yeti any different is he’s much less careful when climbing buildings,
and can bring dogs back to life!
How big he is, is somewhat speculative, sometimes he’s the size of a building,
sometimes not.
He also seems to understand pigen English.
‘Boy. Gilr. Dog. Go.'
'Yeti come’
And yet he’s still more believable than plot .
‘It’s Incredible’
When he’s first thawed Yeti goes on a rampage
and is calmed by Jane and her brother.
‘We were worried sick and they’re having lunch with that yeti’
because...
‘He’s mistakne Herbie for his son and maybe you for his wife’
I can see problems with that.
‘She might have some duties to fulfil if she stays the night’
Despite this rampage they transport Yeti to a rooftop reception in the big city without any means of restraint.
This can only go well.
Well who could have seen that coming?
‘Take a tranquiliser’
The real bad guys are a rival oil company who, despite the fact that Yeti is already sick...
Decide to kill him by cutting off his oxygen,
but that’s not their whole plan.
‘When the fuzz see that egghead, they’ll blast the Yeti’s head off’
Yes, they’re framing the abominable snowman for murder.
‘We’re sure gonna play a dirty trick on him’
and they’re doing a lousy job of it.
'The Yeti was the one, he just went wild.'
Without disturbing his breathing tubes or making any sort of mess.
Then he lay back down exactly where you left him and got back to dying.
‘Maybe it’s all very simple’
So yes, it’s ridiculous and boring and way too long!
‘It’s worth giving it a try’
On the other hand, where else are you going to see a Yeti strangle someone between his toes,
comb a girl’s hair with a giant fish skeleton
and become aroused when someone rubs his nipple?
Whether you want to see that is another question.
‘Men, they’re all the same’
Is there anything better than stroking a yetis nipple?
What's the most inappropriate girl on Monster relationship in the movies?
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