G'day, A.J. Mahari here what with another tip or method or part of the process of building your
wife back from being abused and traumatized by a cluster B personality
disordered individual how can you reclaim yourself or in the case of the adult child who might be
replicating things from a parent with a Cluster B personality disorder in an adult relationship
with somebody with cluster B personality disorder creating a resilient self and knowing where
you end and the narcissist or person with BPD or psychopath who's ever raging at you devouring you
projecting onto you accusing you blaming you trying to provoke you needing supply from you
well kind of using this what I've heard the term you know reverse gaslighting can be very effective
and and reverse gas lighting isn't gas lighting it's simply how we in our own minds and in our own
selves can start to take more control mindfully inside of ourselves mindful self-control as I
talked about in another video the only protection against B PNP DNA SPD we can't change them we
can't stop them from whatever they got a joke but we can certainly change and learn how to stop how
things they do affect us and I mean obviously you know maybe not staying in the vicinity of
the person or in contact with the person in some situations may be really helpful or going more
low contact but that's really hard on parents of adult children with cluster B personality sorters
and and whatever your case may be so this reverse gas lighting is not gas lighting the narcissist
let's say and it's can't using the narcissist it's stopping the narcissist gas lighting from
working on you from creating reaction in you that you demonstrate to them or anything gives them the
supply that just encourages them to keep on doing what they're doing that's what they're gonna it
they'll probably keep on doing what they're doing anyway but the change that we can make in building
resiliency emotionally and psychologically what you can do for yourself is about logically
reminding yourself in a mindful way while this person might be doing a smear campaign while
this person may be raging at you while this person might be you know whether near or close whether an
interpersonal relationship or not whether they're trying to dictate to you what they want period and
how the way they want it and what they want you to do and they want you to do because you want you to
do it they're gonna apply all this pressure on you to do it no matter what or it's gonna be a smear
campaign and a whole lot of drama and they want to provoke you and upset you and they might minimize
what you do or what you've done or who you are or how you are the point is that reverse gaslighting
a narcissist or reverse whatever and you know the person with BPD might be doing or what have
you is about being really mindfully logical and aware of not taking on any more not allowing in
through your through a new boundary you're gonna create or a boundary you've been working on or a
boundary that you have now between yourself and their stuff and it's observing and not absorbing
right and also in this sort of like the term I I don't remember where I heard it it's not I'm
not trying to claim it somebody else created it the term reverse gaslighting it's just sort of
getting to a place where we believe and where you can believe your own truths and what you know you
know deep down in your gut or people can sometimes really lose it and be confused for a time until
they start to understand what these people are doing to them but what you really know inside
about that it's that it's theirs and not yours and they're aiming at you and they need supply
for you all these things that most people or a lot of people already know but how do you build
resiliency basically in the healing process and how you get more emotionally and psychologically
resilient as you go through healing a lot alone as you know if you're still encountering then the BPD
kind of you know devaluation control abuse or a narcissist you know seeking supply and using you
and blaming you and accusing you and projecting all over you their stuff well observing and
absorbing I'm sorry not not absorbing observing and not absorbing absorbing gives a healthy
detachment so that you can start it will help you to relieve inside at least momentarily when you're
in this mindful place this logical rational self empowered place it says I'm what they're saying is
not my truth I don't have to believe what they're saying I don't believe what they're saying I know
my truth I'm holding on to my truth that's not something you say to them that's something for
you to be mindfully thinking about and whenever you go back to thoughts about them or whenever
if you're their soul in your life they're abusing you is to remember that you don't have to let that
permeate in the way that maybe it always has or recently up until recently or maybe still is and
so this reverse gas lighting is really about being with yourself empowering yourself and putting a
boundary between self and cluster B stuff if I could put it that way and so what you want to do
is be really mindful of the fact this has nothing to do with you and so whatever they say that can
be so hurtful so powerfully strut you know stress inducing and impacting and and so painful is is to
just not react because when we can get to the neutral place I mean we might still react you
might still react some inside at different times or in thinking about things from the past even but
to not so ever to the borderline University sister the psychopath in whatever capacity they're doing
things and the ways in which they do with their own tactics do things that are abusive and for
supply and or in the case of BPD for maybe some other reasons as well it's really important to
know that you don't have to take that on and yourself is strong your logical self is strong
you want to strengthen that and you must learn to detach emotionally and psychologically from
the cluster B personality just sort of person in your life whether there's going to be any ongoing
contact or not depending on the relationship and so reverse gaslighting a narcissists for
example is really about you mentally in your mind mindfully thinking about in a logical way
with to the tactics of gaslighting when they're gaslighting you I don't believe you that's not
what happened or you know you know your own truth and just to have those statements going on in
your own mind to be thinking well those statements having those thoughts can really change the whole
dynamic for you and so when you're trying when the narcissist is trying to pull a fast one on
you or any cluster B percentage assorted person then reverse gaslighting you is really about you
being able to maintain the knowledge or start to gain the knowledge if you're still figuring
this out about their manipulative tactics and so when you learn that then you can distance
yourself going no contact is is the best way but not everyone can do that or going low contact
or just any contact in the middle of that kind of abuse but even if you're sort of stuck in a
situation then at least emotionally not letting it permeate inside and being really mindfully
aware that you can observe it observe it and you don't have to absorb it it's not yours you know
whether it's their silent treatments or their stonewalling behavior or peti put-downs and
manipulations or really trying to control you in some manner of your life or work and try to tell
you what to do and and really you know there's so many things that comes to be personality disorder
people do that is really about their past you know and their woundedness and their pain and
that's it that doesn't excuse it at all say it doesn't make it okay but so you want to
be in the process if you aren't already and or strengthening the process of building your own
emotional and psychological resiliency not only recognizing what the borderline the narcissist
or the psychopath the cluster B personality sort of person in your life is doing or trying
to get from you or you know but you don't want to reward this impacting abusive behavior so observe
and don't absorb and remind yourself mindfully that you're in control of you not them doesn't
matter what they have to say what they're doing not even in a smear campaign not even in a public
smear campaign what matters way more than that is you knowing your truth you hanging on to your
truth you believing in you and so in a sense that we call it or it's called I can't remember
that where I saw this but reverse gaslighting is really just refusing to accept the gaslighting
anymore refusing to accept a manipulative abusive tactics of cluster B personality disorder people
by putting up an armor they're around you of logic self empowerment and mindful logical not you're
observing but not absorbing and reminding yourself that you know your truth and that everything
they're spewing and trying to do to you to get supply or control you or have you do what they
want or whatever it is is all about them it's their problem it's their issue it's their stuff
but they love to share don't they but we don't have to let them share with us anymore and when
I say share of course I don't mean anything kind about that right but they love to dump they love
to push off on others say that you know narcissism psychopaths gets so much fuel and supply out of
them the worse you feel the better they feel it's so sadistic but so the point is think about like
reverse gas lighting think about the empowerment that you can put in there with logic and mindful
thinking about your boundary and not letting that permeate inside you anymore or if it's inside you
already still in you're away from this person then not letting when the memories come up or
when you're flooded again by the feelings you know to to get back into taking it on again it's really
important to know it's not yours and you can let it go you don't have to take it in anymore and you
need to continually be letting it go so that's just another way and there are so many ways but
that's just you know what I wanted to share this video about how to empower yourself whether you're
in a situation whether you're right now being gas alert were they being controlled manipulated and
abused and you know put down and told what to do by a narcissist or a cluster B personality
individual who may well not know that there are cluster B individual but but but you know
nonetheless recognizing what someone is trying to do to you and stopping it and not feeding it
and not giving it supply and controlling yourself and not reacting is what's within your grasp or
what you can do or what you might be doing now that's the empowerment you need in your life