10 Things You Should Never Google
#10.
“Symptoms”- If you think you have the mumps, measles or merely the flu you should
probably just go see a doctor instead of Googling it.
Googling any symptom from something as simple as the sniffles to a strange looking rash
can give you an infinite amount of results ranging from the mundane to a condition that
is frightening.
Google and sites like Web M.D.
can turn even the most mentally sound person into a hypochondriac.
You would be surprised how many symptoms that seem like nothing lead to cancer in the internet
world.
If you do in fact have a serious issue it is much better to get it resolved by a doctor
in person who can physically diagnose you.
Googling one’s symptoms can result in a person with a serious illness either thinking
it’s not serious or thinking they have a completely different illness which could result
in some trying to cure themselves and maybe even make the situation worse.
#9.
“Yourself”- We all wonder at times what types of information the internet has on us
or what we are known for throughout the cyber-world but Googling your name is something that should
be done with caution unless you want to ruin your day.
If you search your name you might be shocked to find that something you did years and years
ago and completely forgot about might be the first thing that comes up/.
Whether it be an embarrassing photo of yourself from high school or a link to your livejournal
where you once posted angsty teenage poetry that you’d rather people not read, it is
extremely depressing to be reminded of your past internet transgressions.
Another depressing thing you might find when googling your name is that you might not even
be the first person with your name to come up or even in the top five.
Unless you have a truly unique name like Shamalama ding-dong Rutherford Junior Junior, there
are gonna be a lot of people with the same name as you, leaving you with a feeling of
insignificance.
You also might find that someone with the same name as you is either much more successful
than you which might force you to consider a pseudonym if you wanna hit the big time.
On a frightening and even more depressing note, you may find that someone with the same
name as you has either passed away or is hardened criminal..
However, there are good reasons to Google your name, such as finding out what a prospective
employer might see if they google you for research, and being able to rectify any false
information the search results present.
You also might be able to find out if anyone has stolen your identity by Googling yourself.
#8.
“Bed Bugs”-If you have ever been a victim to the scourge that is a bed bug infestation
you will know that even years after getting rid of the blood-sucking insects it is hard
to sleep without phantom itches and sensations of them crawling all over you.
Even if you haven’t experienced bed bugs first hand, merely Googling them can be psychologically
disturbing.
Once you see images of these terrible creatures it is easy to imagine that they are secretly
lurking in your bedroom and develop severe paranoias.
Not only are the bugs themselves disgusting to look at, the horrifying rashes they cause
can make one start itching at the mere sight.
If you happen upon some of the more severe cases of houses that are infested with the
parasites you might find yourself wanting to tear apart your walls with an axe or take
a flamethrower to your bed just on the off chance that they have already infiltrated
your abode.
Also did we mention that they are ugly, disgusting, blood-sucking bug-demons?
We did?
Good.
Don’t Google them.
#7.
“Megan Fox’s Thumbs”- Actress Megan Fox is known for being a sex-symbol with jaw-dropping
good looks so if you don’t want this image of her tarnished in your head we suggest you
don’t Google images of her thumbs.
Fox may have been blessed with a face and body that epitomize 21st century standards
of beauty but she had the misfortune of being born with a condition called brachydactyly
type D also known as Clubbed Thumb, dinosaur thumb and toe thumb.
Toe thumb is probably the most descriptive of the terms because essentially a person
with the condition has thumbs that are abnormally short and stubby with significantly short
nails, making them look like a big toe.
Fox’s thumbs are the perfect example of the condition and she has admitted in interviews
that they are the physical feature she is most self-conscious of.
On a related note you should never Google the condition ‘digital clubbing’.
Though it sounds like something that may involve electronic dance music it is actually a condition
that appears similar, though medically unrelated, to clubbed thumb.
Digital clubbing is when a person’s fingertips swell to alarming proportions due to conditions
like lung cancer or heart disease and the images are even more disturbing than Toe-thumbs.
A sufferer of digital clubbing’s hands almost look similar to that of a tree-frog’s but
unnaturally deformed.
#6.
“Snapewives”- If you are constantly trying to hold on to the notion that this world has
some sense of order and hasn’t gone completely off-the-rails due to the problems of the digital
age then you definitely should never Google ‘Snapewives’.
Snapewives are group of women on the internet usually middle-aged that believe they are
cosmically linked, more specifically, married on the astral plane to the fictional Harry
Potter character Severus Snape.
These women even take part in group meetings where they channel the spirit of Snape and
take turns having wedding ceremonies with him.
Googling this will result in you falling down the rabbit-hole of very strange and possibly
uncomfortable chat rooms, photoshopped pictures and love poems from the snapewives to their
beloved.
Nevermind the bizarre nature of these impossible relationships and the unsettling loneliness
of the women who believe in them, there is something that is just mind numbingly stupid
about the whole ordeal that has the unintended consequence of being addictive to read about
for outsiders.
So to avoid wasting hours of your day, remember that some things are just better left ungoogled.
#5.
“Trypophobia”- With most phobias it is hard to know you have one until you experience
it and a lot of the time these phobias are for things that can’t necessarily be intentionally
avoided in everyday life.
This is not necessarily the case with trypophobia, which is the fear of groups of small holes
or bumps or of irregular patterns.
Unless it is a severe case, most of the time a person does not realize they have this fear
until they start looking into it.
So in effect googling trypophobia can cause trypophobia, especially because some of the
first images that will pop up are ones that are meant to activate this fear.
Trypophobia is actually one of the most common phobias as it has a link to instincts that
are relics of evolution.
These types of patterns are commonly associated with rashes and disease or dangerous plants
and animals.
Common natural things that set it off are: honeycombs, bubbles, coral, strawberries and
the inside of cantaloupes.
These things may not set it off at a glance as they mostly have pleasant memories associated
with them but if you look at the enlarged Google images of them or the images that trolls
have made just to pester trypophobics, you could accidentally activate these deep-seated
fears.
So it is best not to play with your innate animal instincts and avoid the mental trap
that is googling trypophobia.
#4.
“Fast Food Finds”- One of the things that will most assuredly make you lose your appetite
is if you Google things that people have found in fast food.
There are so many cases of disgusting objects from strange pieces of animals to foreign
objects falling into peoples meals that you are bound to find a case that will turn you
off from your favorite fast food guilty pleasure.
These things happen rarely but once you google them they instantly are all in front of you.
The seemingly infinite nature of the internet can be great for learning but also can feed
paranoia.
If you search things people have found in fast food you might start to believe that
it is common to find a severed finger in your Wendy’s chili, when realistically the odds
are probably one in a billion.
You might also consider the fact that many of the stories of such findings are urban
legends or fabrications meant to shock you.
So if you do dare to go against our advice and Google fast food finds make sure you consume
it as you should everything on the internet, with a grain of salt.
#3.
“Tapeworms”-Another terrifying and disgusting parasite that can fill a person with paranoia
is that of the tapeworm.
Tapeworms are parasite that infiltrates the body when a person eats undercooked meat or
drinks water containing their eggs.
They are fairly uncommon nowadays due to federal regulations but when you start Googling info
about them it can make it seem like they are hiding everywhere, waiting for you to ingest
them.
The idea that a worm that sometimes can be over a foot long could be living inside you
is a haunting sentiment that is not easy to shake.
Just like when one Google’s their symptoms, when a person searches tapeworms and the signs
of having one they can succumb to thinking “Hey I experience nausea” or “I have
hunger or loss of appetite...maybe I have a tapeworm” immediately jumping to irrational
conclusions.
You should definitely never Google images of tapeworms as the alien-like creatures are
the stuff of nightmares.
If you do tread down this dangerous path you can at least rest assured that modern medicine
has many remedies to alleviate a person harboring a tapeworm and that most of the time tapeworms
are harmless.
Most of the time.
#2.
“Personal Details”- You may often find yourself Googling directions to restaurants
or searching for presents for a loved one but though these things can seem harmless
as you’d think that’s what Google is for, but in reality everyone should be much more
cautious about what they type into that nifty streamlined search bar.
Anything you type into Google can be taken by Google and used to formulate advertising
that is meant to target you specifically.
On Google’s own privacy page they even list the specific data that they collect: websites
you visit, your location, ads you click on, things you search for, videos you watch and
information about your computer or other tech devices.
Though they say they are doing it for your convenience they actually take all of your
searches and form their own data model of you based on these things, in order to predict
what you might want to buy or do in the future.
Google can also take this information and give it to companies.
So Googling things that give personal information can be extremely detrimental to your life,
if you value avoiding Spam and being harassed by telemarketers.
#1.
“How To Commit Crimes”- This one isn’t just a humble recommendation it is a strict
warning that should be heeded, otherwise your cyber prodding could have real-world ramifications.
For the authorities there can be a fine line between fantasy and conspiracy and though
merely Googling things isn’t a crime, constantly searching illegal activities especially on
sites that offer how-tos can end up in the police or FBI knocking on your door.
In one specific instance a family unknowingly landed themselves on a terror watch list and
got a visit from local authorities who thought they were planning an attack.
Three of the family members had happened to each individually search separate things on
the same computer, that when put together seemed might suspicious.
The father searched for backpacks, while the mother searched for pressure cookers and their
son had been reading about the Boston Marathon bombings which lead to him casually researching
how homemade bombs were made.
All these coincidences had to perfectly add up in this situation but one could see how
getting curious could’ve led a single person into ending up similarly triggering the authorities.
Not only that if you ever were to get into trouble for a minor offence, anything you
have Googled could be used against you in court and perhaps land you in even greater
trouble.
In these times of heightened fears of terrorism it is best not to toy around, because you
never really know who is monitoring you.
What’s something you once Googled but immediately regretted?