- Hello, Psych2Go viewers.
Here are five early warning signs
you should never ignore in a relationship,
by Michelle Rivas.
The feeling of a new relationship can feel
so exciting and passionate,
even intoxicating, (soft music)
especially since there's always the potential
that it can blossom
into a profound and long-lasting bond.
However, it's always important to stay attuned
to the behavioral patterns of our partners,
because it can help us detect red flags early on.
Being observant of toxic behaviors
from the start can prevent us from jumping into
a serious commitment, and maybe even walk away
from a situation that could be potentially dangerous,
such as domestic violence or narcissistic abuse.
So, here are five early warning signs
you should never ignore in a relationship.
Number one, love bombing.
You just started dating someone
and everything seems perfect.
They're attentive, generous, and make you feel
like the most attractive person they've ever met.
But do they come off a little too strong?
Are they calling or texting you excessively
throughout the day?
Do they profess their love for you
only after a few days or weeks of dating?
This is a red flag early on in a relationship
that should not be ignored.
For those unfamiliar with the term love bombing,
this refers to a form
of emotional manipulation
that consists of a person
moving too quickly at the beginning stages
of a relationship, and showering the other person
with praise and affection.
To be clear, romantic gestures
and affection are completely normal aspects of dating,
but it can also be a sign of something sinister
if done excessively right from the start.
Number two, subtle coercion.
Controlling behavior and coercive control are obvious signs
of domestic violence and/or abusive behavior.
But the way in which they show up at the beginning
of a relationship are usually very subtle and gradual.
According to Emma Davey, narcissistic abuse expert
and counselor, abusers like to be in control all the time,
and they do this by tracking their partner's activity.
They will monitor where you're going, who you're going with,
for how long, your social media activity,
and who you're talking to on the phone.
At first, an abuser will apply many subtle coercive tactics,
such as needing to know about your daily whereabouts,
making suggestions about what you should wear, et cetera,
and masking these demands as altruistic by claiming
that they're concerned for your safety and wellbeing.
If you notice that your new partner requires
that you inform them of everywhere you go,
and feels the need to accompany you everywhere,
then this could be a warning sign.
Number three, hypersensitivity.
If you've been with your partner for a short period of time
and you've noticed that they're easily triggered
by innocuous comments or harmless jokes, then this could be
a sign of hypersensitivity,
which is a common trait amongst most abusers.
It's also common for these individuals
to take unrelated or harmless comments as personal attacks,
and twist the narrative, such as claiming that
you're trying to disrespect them when you're merely
just disagreeing with them and expressing your own opinion.
Number four, they dislike your friends or family.
Does your new partner express disapproval
every time you go out with your closest friends
or family members?
They might make you feel guilty
for spending time with those closest to you,
and try to convince you that they're bad influences.
Or, say that you're too good for them.
This is a subtle tactic that abusers use to slowly
isolate you from your support system.
So, it's extremely important to be aware of this early on,
and check for patterns of possessive behavior.
And number five, rushing into commitment.
If you just started dating someone
and you can sense that they're trying to pressure you
into a committed relationship,
and rush into important milestones, such as meeting
each other's families and moving in together,
then this is a huge red flag that should not be ignored.
This is usually in tandem with love bombing,
where the person will idealize their significant other
and smother them with praise and attention.
Another sign of this is saying the words I love you
after a very short period of time.
And pressuring you to do the same.
If this sounds familiar to what you've been experiencing
in your new relationship, you may need
to proceed with caution.
You have agency over your life,
and you shouldn't feel obligated to commit
to a relationship if you're not fully ready.