Hey, I'm Katie. This is my story how Dance Movement Therapy helps
me in my recovery from my eating disorder. (music) Dance Movement
Therapy is a way to connect with your body and emotions through
movement. A lot of the time, you don't use words. Just your body.
I've been battling my eating disorder for three years. Some
people think an eating disorder is about being skinny or that
people choose to have it. But an eating disorder comes in many
forms, and for many reasons. For me, it began when I started
running. I wanted to be healthy and strong. And running helped
me quiet the overwhelming thoughts and feelings. But after
some time, something just switched in my head and it
became an unhealthy obsession. I became a compulsive exerciser
and restricter. My mind gradually had me portioning out
less and less. I became hyper-focused on my exercise
routine and eating regimen. All that mattered was completing my
runs in a strict time limit at the same time every day. It was
a schedule in my mind. Any deviation from my routine really
ticked me off. I missed out on a lot of life because I was so
much in my own head and didn't know how to let go. I developed
body dysmorphia, which is like looking in a funhouse mirror but
you don't know that it's not real. I was disconnecting from
my body, and I no longer had a relationship with myself. First,
I met Erin, the Dance Movement therapist at Children's
Hospital Colorado. Mostly I worked with Erin one-on-one.
Erin wanted me to learn to let my body do what it wanted to do,
instead of what I was making it do. But it was awkward at first.
And I was overwhelmed. I had low self-confidence, and I did not
think I was a good dancer. "Not a good dancer, this is
overwhelming, too much food, I feel awkward"-- these thoughts
were like a running dialogue in my mind, almost paralyzing. I
felt like I couldn't do it. Like I didn't have control. No one
understood. I felt so alone. Erin had me push against a wall.
Then we played tug-of-war. This allowed me to release my pent-up
energy and to discover what I was really feeling. I learned
that I'm aggressive and defensive to protect myself from
getting hurt. If the wall comes down, then I'm vulnerable and
scared. It's hard to let people in and entrust so much of
yourself to other people. It helped me to have a way to
express myself without words. There's so much going on in my
head that there's no way I can get it all out with words.
Dance Movement therapy sometimes is about stillness, too. One
day, I talked to my heart and apologized for all the torment I
put it through. Erin did a body tracing. I identified emotions
where I felt them in my body, filling in different areas with
different shapes and colors. Sometimes Erin had me release my
tension through weighted blankets and deep pressure.
There are highs and lows in recovery and therapy. Just as
there are highs and lows in life. Dance Movement Therapy
helped me get through the good times and the bad.
Dance Movement Therapy helped me connect with myself, and with
others. Dancing freely allowed me to feel more comfortable with
myself. I began to see myself clearly. But at times I still
struggle. So when I feel fear, tension, and aggression, I dance
it out! Dance Movement Therapy gave me a wider perspective. It
allows me to go from here to here! Focusing on the cool moves
detaches me from negative thoughts and interrupts the
looping in my brain. Before, I was scared of the future and I
didn't look forward to it. It felt like one, big obligation.
Now I'm excited about the future. Dance Movement Therapy
has improved my relationships because I'm no longer afraid to
be honest with people. Honesty strengthens your connections to
others. Dance Movement Therapy has given me a healthy outlet.
It allows me to be free!
(music)