"Hi! My name is Britta. And I'd like to tell you how my big teddy bear got me pregnant."
Storytelling...
It's the world's oldest and most beloved art form.
And today, I will be showing you an example of masterful storytelling.
Now you might think that "War and Peace", "Pride and Prejudice", TS Eliot's "The Wasteland" are
examples of great literature. Now if those are the ones that come to your mind first,
then you're obviously not familiar with the TEEN LIFE Youtube channel!
And they have shared with the world epic stories, such as:
"I don't feel cold"
"I ended up in bed with my own brother"
"My boyfriend cheated on me with his sister"
Are you...uh...noticing a bit of a theme, here?
"I'm 16 and I date my own teacher"
"I almost killed my small sister"
And just to give you an idea of what this channel is about:
"Here you can find life stories of love and betrayal, triumph or failure -"
You hear that SHAKESPEARE???
Yeah, Shakey, you've become OBSOLETE!
I'm also intrigued by the "instructive" element of their videos. So shall we get to the actual video?
This is the one that tickled my fancy.
"My boyfriend cheated on my with my nanny"
And one of the things that is very clever about Teen Life, is that in some of their videos they
will tell us one story, but with TWO versions. Because there's TWO sides to EVERY story!
So, firstly we get Patricia's side of the story, who is cheated on by her boyfriend with her nanny.
P: I'm Patricia, and I've got a terrible story for you!
You can already hear the defeat in her voice *sad music* "I'm Patricia! HELP ME!"
P: You'd really put it to use if you were a filmmaker I suppose -
Or a YOUTUBE channel called TEEN LIFE!
P: My family is RICH.
Straight to flexing, are we Patricia? Come on! You want to get the audience on your side,
you don't go straight to "I'M REALLY RICH! I'm LOADED! My life - PRETTY GREAT!"
I love how this child's at the pool with a Long Island iced tea, oh rich people! Can't relate!
P: Of course, we're not billionaires. And you won't find us in the Forbes list, still
we've got a mansion in the nicest part of Miami, several yachts, and some cool cars in the garage.
We're not BILLIONAIRES!
Our lives aren't THAT great! We just have...
A massive mansion in Miami and several yachts.
So here's some constructive feedback Patricia: uh, you're
not painting yourself in the most sympathetic light.
P: My parents were always busy with anything except my upbringing. The older I got, the more
they were trying to control my grades and studies. Dad had a special gimmick, he used to ambush me
in the hallway and run a SPEED TEST! Usually, he'd ask me several questions on literature, or
history, and sometimes he threw a Math problem at me. I'd have to give him an answer in 10 SECONDS!
If I failed to provide him with a correct answer, it cost me all of my pocket money!
And least they're trying to make you knowledgeable,
so you don't become one of those braindead rich kids. Your life's not THAT bad, Patricia.
P: With a life like this, I turned into a local nerd and crammer. Far from a school celebrity!
I've managed to obtain a romantic relationship only in high school. The guy was not one of my
classmates, he was an ordinary boy, who worked as a barista in my favourite cafe. We talked
several times - and then we started dating. I like that he was just a simple, ordinary guy.
Aw, he's so simple! He's such a poor, simple boy!
So simple! So poor! You're so simple, because you're POOR!
P: And then I brought Mark home for a first meeting with my parents.
So just to speed run you through this bit of the story: the boyfriend meets her parents,
her parents aren't very interested. But he also meets the nanny. And she
interrogates him - BIG TIME! And after he meets the family, he starts to cool off.
P: I noticed that Mark distanced himself from me. He pretended to be busy.
Which, you know - that happens in teen relationships. But what
IS peculiar is that the nanny's behaviour also starts to change...
P: And the nanny changed as well. You see,
I was somehow used to the fact that she was always nearby. I paid zero attention to her
appearance or behaviour outside of our chats. But now she started to bloom like a rose!
Hmm! I wonder why that could be...
P: And she admitted that she had found a boyfriend.
Oh my god! The audacity!
Gemma Collins: I think that, you're acting like, like an absolute disgrace!
P: My life went on. Everything seemed to be perfect. Until Mark
suddenly broke up with me. That day, I rushed to nanny in tears looking for comfort -
Yeah, I mean we all do that after we've had a breakup.
We just run - full spreed ahead - arms straight out - eyes closed.
*Roman Holiday by Nicki Minaj plays*
P: And I din't find her. I saw BOTH of them instead! Lying on the bed in her room. And
Mark kissed her the way he never kissed me, with so much love and passion! It was a real nightmare.
*X Files music plays*
P: Of course, she tried to explain herself. She
even had the nerve to say that she was not guilty of anything!
That FACE!
*Meme* I am DISGUSTED!
P: And Dad fired the nanny as soon as I asked him to do so and explained the situation.
So that's the end of Patricia's account,
and NOW we're going to hear the NANNY'S side of the story! Ooh errr!
So, if Patricia is young enough to have a nanny,
then that means this 40-year-old nanny is hooking up with a 15/16-year-old boy!
Call the PoPo am I right??
B: My name is Barbara -
Let's hear what you've got to say for yourself, BARBARA!
B: Here is my vision of what happened to us.
Decide for yourself, whether I REALLY deserved condemnation or not.
I've decided and...YOU DO!
*Gemma Collins* I am as I am! And I ain't gunna apologise for it or make no excuses about it!
B: I raised Pat from birth. I was 23 and just graduated. When her parents founds
me and offered me a lucrative job, and I spent all of my youth on the upbringing of this girl -
Barbara! Barbara, BARBARA! Barbara, BARBARA!
No-one FORCED you to do that, Barbara - NO!
B: I loved her, yes, but she wasn't MY daughter!
Savage!
B: The terms of my contract were quite oppressive,
I simply did not have the opportunity to date someone, or moreover to start my own family -
GIRRRRRLLL!
That's not the KID'S fault! If you had issues with your work conditions,
that's on the parents, not the child! Bloody hell!
B: When Pat grew up, they STILL didn't fire me! Her parents offered me a higher salary,
better conditions and even made me a housekeeper as a sign of gratitude.
"They still didn't fire me" you know you can quit...right?
B: But I didn't stay because of THAT! I stayed because I wanted to be near Pat.
I didn't stay because of the pay rise, I stayed because I
love Patricia! I love her so much that I wanted to share her UNDERAGE BOYFRIEND.
B: And then she found Mark. I was glad that she had FINALLY had someone close to her
except me - until I met him personally that is! He was only 17, just like Pat, but he seemed to
be very smart, and he talked like he'd seen much. Of course, I was not gunna woo him,
The very idea seemed ridiculous! After all, he was still a young boy. And I looked like an old woman
compared to him! Besides, Pat was like a daughter to me, and I could not do such a rotten thing
to her. But Mark couldn't be bothered with such trifles such as age or different social status -
Umm, my guy - that shit's ILLEGAL!
It's like when creeps say "age is just a number"
So's 911 -
BITCH!
B: He came to me himself, asked me to meet him at the backdoor
in secret from Pat and her parents and told me he loved me! I literally tried to drive
him away with a broom! I was afraid that someone had seen him - the gossiping maids,
Pat's parents, Patricia herself after all. But at some point, I really wanted to believe him. And it
was my big but VERY happy mistake. Yes, I'm aware that we've got a pretty large age difference,
but due to his age he could have been my son. I had to choose between Pat and my own happiness,
and I selfishly chose myself. More precisely, it was Mark who chose me.
B: But you see - Patricia is young and she has her whole life waiting ahead of her. And this
was my last chance for happiness, so I went for it! You can judge me, scold me, you can tell me
that I'm initially wrong. I already know this and continue to blame myself for my weakness -
So if this is supposedly a true story, I'm guessing it was "Patricia" who submitted
it - 'cause of the title. Either, they wrote the nanny's side for dramatic effect and just sort
of guessed what her perspective would be. Or, they did an interview with her like -
"So, what's your side of the story, Nanny?"
B: Choose your side and write your thoughts in the comments.
Uhhh, Nanny, you're not going to like the comments!
I couldn't find a SINGLE comment on the nanny's side. And because
of the dramatic nature of these stories, they raise a lot of moral
questions. Which leads to a lot of philosophical debates in the comments.
Capital letters: "THE NANNY IS GUILTY!"
And that comment was liked by Teen Life itself, so uh, even THEY'RE taking sides.
So yeah that was some juicy, juicy stuff. I mean, PHWOAR!
Now, I've gotta say the response to that was quite unanimous.
And my moral analysis of it is also quite black and white.
Nanny, you could have quit your job and um, don't sleep with any underage boy!?
So next time I would like to find one that's a bit more morally ambiguous,
you know? If you haven't already, DO check out the Teen Life YouTube
channel 'cause I've gotta say their videos are PRETTY WEIRD.
So moral of the story is:
Don't trust your nanny.
She'll shag your boyfriend. Even if he's underage. You can't trust anyone, can you?!
Thank you for watching this with me, I rather enjoyed that, and I hope you did too!
Thanks for watching! Buh bye! Buh bye now! Buh bye! Buh bye now!