- [Announcer] What happens to a comedian
when you take away their audience?
This is a show where comedians perform
in an empty theater while the audience
watches from the rooftop.
So the comedians have no idea how the audience is reacting.
- Welcome to 7 Minutes in Purgatory.
(upbeat music)
(audience cheers)
- Alright, please put your hands together
for Michelle Buteau.
(audience cheers)
Michelle, how're you doing?
- I'm doing good.
I think I'm doing good, honey.
How're you doing?
- Alright.
This is your first time doing the show.
How're you feeling about it?
- I feel like a size 16.
This feels great.
(audience applauds)
Thank you, thank you.
- Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
- Honey, it's always a good thing.
- I have no idea what size I am
so that's the only reason I was asking.
Okay, are we ready to send you down?
Give it up for Michelle!
(audience cheers)
Alright, here comes Michelle Buteau
coming down the stairs about to do 7 Minutes in Purgatory.
The show where comedians perform to no audience.
Meanwhile, their fellow comedians
will be watching from the greenroom.
- I think she's gonna bring it.
- Yeah.
Whatever, just performing for no one.
It's no big deal.
What's up, Los Angeles?
Make some noise!
(audience cheers)
I'm assuming noise is being made.
Wow, well this is a nice theater.
It's very cute and clean.
Doesn't smell like piss.
I am feeling very vulnerable.
I don't know if it's because I'm by myself in here
or because I have like a plus size cape on right now.
(laughing)
You know, it's like, the summer's over
and I feel like I'm still trying to get bikini bod ready.
You know what I mean?
Like I've been working on it for like 36 years.
And I don't know when it's gonna happen.
Like, I've been doing sit ups since I was 10.
They don't work.
I see a lot of people in Los Angeles wearing shorts.
I love that.
Good for you.
I haven't worn shorts since like, Tiffany had an album.
Does anyone even know who Tiffany is?
Oh, wait, no one's in the room.
Great, thanks.
The closest I get to shorts definitely is like ripped jeans.
Like I like to wear ripped jeans.
Like this or like maybe even more rips.
But I don't know.
If I sit down in public I got a lotta thigh spread.
Like, ugh, I hate the thigh spread.
Like I was at this hotel one time.
Like it was an expensive hotel
'cause like the water bottles were like $7.00
and there was a mirror in front of the toilet
and I was like, who the fuck?
Like, I love doing comedy.
It feels great and natural and fun.
I never watch myself do it.
It's like watching myself do comedy
is like watching myself take a shit.
I don't need to see it.
I know it feels good and I need to do it everyday.
(laughing)
Oh my god.
I need to wear this outfit tomorrow.
More people need to see it.
There's like nobody here.
(audience laughs)
I don't know.
I feel like sometimes in life your body chooses you.
You don't choose your body.
Like I woke up when I was 12 and I just like had these tits
and I had these freckles and my body was like,
damn, now you're a sassy Raven Symone.
And like, I had no choice in the matter.
I feel like in life I'm always like
the girl who has like the middle seat in the airplane.
You know what I mean?
Like, I'm just walking down the street
and my tits are hitting people.
How do you not know when your tits hit people?
That's a big deal.
Like, my hair gets in people's coffee.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, I'm always in the middle seat.
I feel like a Puerto Rican Mrs. Doubtfire.
You know what I mean?
Like, I'm just trying not to catch myself on fire.
(audience laughs)
I try to like be serious and work a corporate job
and straighten my hair and cover my freckles
and wear like Talbot suits.
I looked like a Puerto Rican Hillary Clinton.
It was like not fun.
All my references are Puerto Rican.
I'm not Puerto Rican, but I just think it's a good visual.
(audience laughs)
If there's any tape to help any bitches
that are watching this, I mean, it's insane.
Like, my right breast is a little bit bigger
so it's just like trying to fight to like get out.
It's like a POW.
You know what I mean?
It's like a Jonathan McCain, but of like of titties.
It's like get me out.
I wanna be free!
(audience laughs)
Yes, titties!
(audience laughs)
Feels good.
I tried to like have a fun summer look.
And I was like, you know what?
I'm gonna get some braids.
Braids are super fun.
And I remember, I look like Beyonce frolicking in Cuba,
but I ended up looking like Rachel Dolezal.
Like that white woman that was living her life
as a black woman in Seattle.
Like, that's what I looked like.
I'm black, by the way.
I don't know if anyone cares in the universe.
You know, I really want to be like Beyonce,
but I was not.
I looked like I was appropriating my own culture.
Do you even know how hard that is to do?
Very.
I wanted to be like Erykah Badu.
I was Erykah Ba Don't.
Shut up.
(audience laughs)
Well, I'll leave you guys with this.
(laughing)
- She's talking to an empty theater.
- I was reading this article on HuffPo one time
that if you have a nickname for your partner
you're supposed to get into less arguments
and my husband is Dutch so I nicknamed him Ikea.
(audience laughs)
Because I like to use his face as a chair.
Ew!
(audience cheers)
Thank you?
Right.
(audience cheers)
- Let's hear it for Michelle Buteau.
(cheering)
- You're right about that outfit.
- [Michelle] Let's just say, it's a great dream.
- Yeah, you did great.
- It felt like a dream?
- You just played the Montalban.
- Yeah, yeah, you played--
- I just played the Montleban, yeah.
- Is Ikea Dutch or Swedish?
- It's Swedish.
But thank you for the follow up.
- I'm just checking.
Just a fact checker here.
Yep.