many people struggle daily
feeling like they don't measure up like they're just not good enough
it might even seem like self-criticism is just a natural part of being human
but what if it doesn't have to be in this video
renowned mindfulness teacher jack Kornfield shares two ways to help
overcome feelings of self-criticism
we were in a meeting together a number of us who are who are
Buddhist teachers with the Dalai Lama
and someone asked him about unworthiness and self-hatred
and he speaks quite good English
but he'd never heard the word self-hatred self-hatred
and he asked the whole bunch of times is this what you mean
and tried to get his translator to understand it apparently in the tibetan culture
there isn't so much of it
and after he reflected for a while
he looked back and said but this is a mistake
you know why would anyone hate themselves
and then he asked, he looked around the room and said to these 20 people are so
do the students you work with or have you experienced this self-hatred
and almost every hand went up
so then we had the conversation about how within our culture
there is a level of
self-criticism and self judgment and self-hatred
that often shows itself as soon as people try
to become quiet and do the
inner work of the heart and there are ways within our own culture
that that deep sense of connection and belonging and meaning
hasn't been established and what takes its place
often when we have a trauma
as most of us do in background is that there's something wrong with me
there's shame there's guilt there's unworthiness
and these become the default mode
for a lot of people in their lives
there are a whole variety of beautiful training, there are skillful means
that can work with this, one of the ones that I it like to use a great deal
two of them are the trainers in loving kindness
also complimentary trains in compassion or forgiveness
it takes a while it's a training or process
just as we train to learn to play piano
and it would take months in lessons to play
even moderately well just as we learn
to be a surgeon or we learn
a skill like carpentry so these are
inner skills and the fact that loving ones self
is difficult for people in this culture is actually the ground that says
this is where we need to turn our attention
and with it it begins to transform healing because the physical healing
practices
that come through contemplative life are also
a directing of loving kindness toward the
illnesses in your body for healing
and the psychological healing practices
rest on a ground of self-acceptance
and self love
when feelings of unworthiness and
self-hatred creep in it can be essential to have strategies that can help people
build their capacity for self compassion
and for many mindfulness practices are especially helpful
so whether it's in your work with clients or in your own life
how have you use mindfulness to deal with self-criticism
or other difficult feelings? please share your experience
in the comment section below