hey guys welcome to let's talk number six so what she's doing i would say isn't necessarily
i hate unique channel now now
so i'm not gonna lie i kind of wish i had a better name for this segment because let's talk
it's like okay whatever so i hope you guys are having a really good tuesday my tuesday so far
has just consisted of cleaning and i've also been scrapbooking i have been obsessed with
scrapbooking i'm gonna be showing you guys in a future video so i told you guys let's get personal
so i'm curious to what kind of personal things you guys want me to talk about so let's go do you ever
get nervous about people in real life seeing you and your girlfriend together do you avoid
going places together how would you navigate that situation if the picture got leaked it's
definitely something we have thought about talked about if it happens it happens there's literally
hello
okay okay i have no idea who just tried to call they didn't say anything
you know is wifey ashamed of you that's why she won't go on camera
i don't think she's ashamed of me i just feel like in situations like that where if we are in
public and someone saw us snapped a picture it's kind of something that we just have to accept
as you've taken time to look back at some of your older videos do you have any regrets about your
behavior things that you've shared or stuff you didn't do if so how will you take those
lessons moving forward the biggest regret that i have on youtube is sharing my story about a
toxic relationship i was in i just shouldn't have shared that that is my absolute biggest regret
i don't want to see the po that poem that already makes me uncomfortable
that she wrote a poem about me i don't want to see no poem i don't want to see her videos
nothing her poem was called rain and petals eve eavesdrop r-a-p-e rain and petals eavesdrop i used
the wrong word there also have been a few times where i regretted sharing my cancer diagnosis
because i went through a few months where people were calling me a liar and on top of already
having cancer having to deal with people calling me a liar about having cancer was truly freaking
rough some other things i regret is like the super hard trolling like the whole rotisserie
chicken knowing damn well i wasn't gonna eat it all um there was a time where i ordered like 20
wings knowing i was only gonna eat three or like a whole shrimp platter knowing i was only gonna
eat like 100 calories of it you know things like that i'm trying to gain weight so i can
apply to be on my 600 pound life even if i'm not trying to make it to 600 pounds i
will make it to 600 pounds like it almost felt like i was promoting super unhealthy
eating as a morbidly obese person and it's kind of weird for me to think about now will
i eat those things in the future abso freaking literally will i eat fast food in the future
yes but there's a way to go about living a normal life while eating those things versus like hi i'm
gonna troll i'm gonna promote unhealthy eating as someone who's over 500 pounds like it's kind of
kind of insane to me honestly hey i'm a mukbang channel and i've gained 125 pounds
sorry i was thirsty and right now as the person that i am and the person i'm trying to become
i will never do that type of trolling ever again were you or anyone else that you know affected by
the tornadoes i hope you're all okay thank you so much i've actually had a lot of people reach
out about the tornadoes thankfully everything's good here it was just a really really bad storm
uh where i live and honestly i kind of like slept through it which is pretty shocking if the tables
were turned and becky was the one who got into a relationship very soon after you two splitting up
and invited them to stay at your apartment and was constantly talking about how much she loved them
would you be okay with it would you not feel hurt or like your boundaries were being pushed
okay my lips have been in a lot of use lately what nothing i ate raw before live
you did i'm gonna be eating after live wait what are you talking about over there huh
i wasn't even listening to you what were you talking about no one's listening to me i'm in
my own little like land right now are you all right are you i'm fine i'm great okay
fantabulous somebody's telling me i need to eat kitty so i can talk about how sore my lips are too
i know that's what happened okay so i'm gonna answer this completely honest there's a big
part of me that wants to be like no i'd be totally fine like invite her over but
if the roles were reversed yes it would have hurt me a lot or like if i'm looking
at somebody it's literally i look at them like a normal and in my head i'm just like oh you cute
oh really yeah who's the last time you did that in the gas station the other day yeah it's okay
you look at somebody you're like oh you're cute stop cheating on me becky
hi becky i saw you checking me out at the gas station that day you're cute too boo
what did they look like i don't know she was chubby
i think the reason why becky and i thought it was okay to bring my girlfriend here
was because becky wasn't hurting after the breakup she was happy she felt free
are you emotional right now are you okay oh
do you want me to move on okay are you sure yeah do you need a hug no
you don't need a hug you don't want a hug moment no okay wifey meal prepped for me
well us and i'm just like why are you super bad you guys genuinely every day we get closer like
i don't know the breakup was just very different compared to like other breakups i do feel bad for
talking about the new relationship so much in front of becky because i didn't realize
that it was upsetting her a little bit or maybe it wasn't like i i really don't know but like i
i do feel bad about it but on the other hand she broke up with me you know this is my apartment
and if i want to have someone come visit me then i should be allowed to do that thankfully when they
met they got along there was like no awkwardness or anything like that can you talk about your life
when you were younger versus now money-wise i'm curious because you've talked about being poor
in the past and now you can buy more things like legos or whatever how does it feel to
be able to do that now when you basically grew up with nothing i was actually just talking to
my girlfriend about this so a really good example is last year when my mom came to visit me i moved
literally two days before i was supposed to get a full-fledged hysterectomy and i wanted everything
put away like i didn't want to come home for my surgery with boxes everywhere so me becky and
my mom we like went crazy like we were putting away everything and something my mom helped me
put away was my clothes as she was hanging up my dresses she started crying me my mom are both very
emotional so i totes get it but i was like mom why are you crying like you're just hanging out
my dresses she like looked around my closet and she was like look how many clothes do you have
like and then she brought up memories of like when i was younger i literally only had like one pair
of pants i only had one shirt i literally wore the same thing to school every single day i literally
grew up with nothing like it's crazy that you know i can just go to the grocery store and buy
whatever i want but when i was younger we didn't have money for food so we would get free food
every saturday we would get like a box of free food that got delivered uh to us and it's just
like little things like that where it's just like wow i don't know if that has anything to do with
maybe the reason why i have a shopping addiction because like i wasn't used to that life when i
was younger so now i'm just like oh my god i have the money so let's like spend it all like another
good example is like school dances i loved me a school dance but they always costed money
and my parents didn't have that money looking back how long did you have lymphedema
lymphedema lymphadene i can't because it's lymphedema looking back how long did you
have lymphedema before you noticed were you ever treated for it no i have never been treated for
lymphedema it's really weird i remember the year that it happened i remember why it happened i
remember how it happened but it's like it happened overnight like i remember one day literally just
being like uh oh it looks like i got lymphedema but if you want to see more of my apartment
here's a little glimpse a little glimpsey i mean maybe i can show more of the apartment like in a
future video it's just not really something that i think about it was scary and sad to see you
deal with a cancer diagnosis since then however we haven't seen much of a change in behavior as now
you're slipping back into old habits if a cancer diagnosis wasn't enough to motivate you to change
in a nicer more supportive audience isn't either what will so i don't understand what you mean
when you say that i'm slipping back into old habits because what i think tomorrow will be
my ninth weigh-in for you guys in a row what like i'm literally actively losing weight i'm down over
80 pounds i don't know what i'm doing now that has any relation to like my old habits i've seen
a lot of people say that like i'm slipping into phase two i just i'm so confused now i feel like
a lot of people just like want that to happen at this point but i will say without a doubt i should
have lost this weight a lot sooner i just know that after i got diagnosed with cancer and i had
a hysterectomy my hormones were absolutely insane like my body was trying to go through menopause
while i was taking a little tiny estrogen pill not only that but my mental health was just like
through the roof because i'm over here like okay i just got diagnosed with cancer i literally
just had all my female parts just taken out of me i could no longer have a child and you think that
would scare me into like wanting to change and lose weight and all this stuff but instead it
did the reverse effect it made me want to numb myself and that's why i got back to my freaking
heaviest weight by like three pounds but something that i really really want to stand by it's never
too late to change how did you score free food from mcdonald's but still paid 15 for a diet coke
what free food are you talking about because i did not get no free food did you ever think that you'd
be a youtuber one day are you happy with what you do when i first started youtube i did not expect
it to become a job but like the more i did it the more i hoped for it and i was like can you imagine
if this was like my actual job and then it kind of just like happened and yes i can without a doubt
say that i am happy being a youtuber sometimes i'm just still in shock by it i think because it's
like wow like i have a roof over my head because people want to hear me talk i don't know it's kind
of kind of crazy really how come your receipt from mcdonald's was heavily cropped and under the total
it said free food it was cropped because it showed the address of the mcdonald's and obviously i
didn't want to share the address but here you can see the original thing i'm just gonna cross out
the address i don't really know what the free food thing was so have you ever considered a therapist
who specializes in binge eating disorders the therapist i have now actually does which i love
and that's why she did recommend intuitive eating counting calories following meal plans counting
points carbs that's a really big thing that triggers binge eaters into binging i've actually
been told this by dietitians by nutritionists by doctors so i definitely trust her word for it i
just don't think intuitive eating is right for me in this moment because my goal is to lose weight
and let's be real let's be real intuitively i want hot cheetos and i just know i shouldn't have those
is it true that your girlfriend is imaginary yes my girlfriend is fake i just i don't know
i'm lonely and i wanted to feel like i wasn't and so i thought by making up a girlfriend
it would help are you now better able to identify early triggers for or symptoms of your cellulitis
honestly the first top two things that happen to me freezing to the point of shivers i have to like
have like three blankets on top of me it still doesn't even work and i have a hardcore fever
sometimes i vomit like a lot but the biggest thing is while those things are happening if
my leg is even slightly red then i know it's about to go down and it's very unfortunate but when that
happens i'm able to see the doctor super quick put on antibiotics super quick because i know what's
happening are you gonna stay in that apartment are you planning to move i actually will be moving
um i'm going to follow through with the lease i recently signed and then once the lease is over i
will be moving and i'm actually going to be moving out of state so i'm going to be leaving kentucky
y'all um it's kind of bittersweet to be honest like it makes me a little bit sad like i used
to hate kentucky but it's also like i feel like i made a home here like i've been in this apartment
for a couple years now and it's like i'm used to kentucky somehow i grew fond of it but i just feel
like you know maybe i need to move on okay last question is were you ever in love with becky to
begin with i loved becky unconditionally like like i loved her like family i would have taken
a bullet for her without a doubt i'm just not entirely sure i was actually in love which is okay
but i loved her with all my heart and i gave her everything that i had and i believe that she did
the same i believe that we both tried our best and it just didn't work all right guys so i hope that
you enjoyed this video and i'll see you my next one bye i stopped asking for forgiveness cause
you should know only portrayed were the angels fear to go but you keep trying to get too close
save myself by turning into stone so save your judgment cause you just
don't know but some things never change never change