- Hey, everybody, happy Monday.
Now, today we're gonna talk about being emotionally mature
but before we jump into that,
did you know that I offer a journal prompt
every Tuesday and Friday through YouTube memberships?
You can join today by clicking the blue button
or the link in the description and it's only $5 a month.
Okay, now let's get into today's topic.
Emotional maturity is the key to any
and all healthy relationships.
If we aren't emotionally mature, we can sabotage things
and suffocate within our own negativity
and that's why today I wanna walk you through the six signs
that you are emotionally mature and obviously,
if this is something that you're struggling with,
use some of these signs as tips for how to get yourself
back on track because I'll be honest,
we all need reminders of how to be more emotionally mature
from time to time.
Now, the first sign is that we have healthy boundaries
and I know I talk about this a lot
but it is so important to the health of ourselves
and our relationships.
We need to know what we're okay sharing with someone,
how often we want to see them or be available to them
and when we have to put ourselves first.
So often I see people chatting online
as if boundaries are in some way offensive to them
and just trust me, they are not.
If you find yourself feeling that way,
I would encourage you to talk about in therapy
because chances are you struggle with enmeshment
and codependency,
all of which can be worked through in therapy.
Now, the way to set up boundaries
is to first, assess what you're okay and not okay with
and if there needs to be some changes
in how we interact with other people in our lives,
I'm sorry but we're going to have to make time
to talk with them about it and it can be just as simple
as hey, I just wanted to let you know
that I'm working really hard on myself right now
so if I seem a bit distant, that's why
and it has nothing to do with you.
It's more about me and the work that I'm doing, okay?
Keep it simple like that
and I have other videos all about boundaries
so if you need more guidance with this one,
just search Kati Morton boundaries on YouTube
and they'll all come up.
The second sign is that we're able to identify our emotions.
I mean, if you think about it,
there's no way we can be emotionally mature
if we don't even know what emotions we're having.
So start paying attention.
If you wanna cry or scream for what seems like no reason,
we've all been there, consider what's been going on
and how you feel.
Are your hurt?
Maybe overwhelmed?
Whatever it is, make sure you work to identify it
and print out some feelings charts.
You can just Google that and print them out
and start selecting three to five emotions
that you felt today
and you can do this right before bed
or when you get home from work or school.
Just making time to name them can in its own way validate it
and you'll be surprised at how very healing that can be.
The third sign is that we're able to admit
when we are wrong.
I know, that person was a total jerk
and they deserve to get yelled at
but just because someone else did something
doesn't mean that we have to react in that way.
I know.
We should always be able to apologize
for our part in a situation or argument.
Sure, it can be hard especially if we're still upset
but if we've done something to hurt someone else
or said something that we regret,
those who are emotionally mature
are able to put their ego aside and apologize.
Being stubborn or passive aggressive about a situation
doesn't lend to a solution and just ignoring what happened
and trying to move on doesn't work either.
We're going to have to talk about it,
admit when we're wrong or made a mistake
and work to repair any damage
that was done to the relationship as a result.
The fourth sign is that we are slow to react and instead,
we respond thoughtfully to difficult situations.
Sure, they said something that really got under your skin
and you wanted to put them in your place
but someone who's emotionally mature
is able to slow their reaction down
so they don't say or do something that they can't take back.
I also call this utilizing your wise mind.
Very DBT of me, I know,
but when I'm able to successfully do this,
I can sometimes even see
where this person's upset is coming from.
It could be that they're not emotionally mature
and they're lashing out
because of something else that happened in their day
that they just really weren't able
to even identify or process
or maybe I know about their upbringing
and know their over the top reaction is coming from there.
There are so many reasons people can lash out,
yell and try to get a rise out of us
but if we are emotionally mature, we're able to slow down,
assess the situation and respond thoughtfully
which will actually prevent us
from having to do number three,
admitting when we're wrong as often.
The fifth sign is that we can communicate our needs
and upsets clearly.
This could be as simple as telling your friend
that you really need her to go with you to that party
or letting your spouse know that what they said was hurtful.
People cannot read our minds.
I know that would make life a lot easier in some ways
but we are going to have to get better
at communicating with one another.
It's okay to disagree, to talk it out, be hurt or upset
but that doesn't mean we have to lose our cool,
shout or call each other names.
Instead, we talk about it,
apologize when necessary and work to repair
and that's why I put this sign kinda towards the end
because it kinda builds off the earlier ones
and I know it's hard to communicate our needs
and upsets sometimes
because it means we have to be a little vulnerable
and let people in but what are relationships
if we don't do that?
And the sixth and final sign
is that we're able to make decisions on our own.
Emotionally mature people
don't need others to tell them what to do.
They know what they want and they're able to express that.
This could be as simple
as deciding whether or not they want to go to that party
or as complicated
as picking out the college they want to attend.
Whatever it is, an emotionally mature person
knows how they feel.
Shout out to sign number two, remember?
They'll know what's okay and not okay for them
and then makes decisions based on their own wants and needs
and this doesn't mean that we're bullies in any way.
It really just means that we have confidence in ourselves
and don't have to look outside
for that validation or acceptance.
We're already giving that to ourselves each and every day.
I hope you found this helpful.
This is something I think is being talked about
more and more and I really just wanted to make sure
that it was being done in a positive way
but as always, do you think I left any signs out?
Are there other traits
you think an emotionally mature person has?
Let me know in those comments down below
and I will see you next time.
Bye.
(calm music)