-So, Bill, it is great that you're here and back in 30 Rock.
-Thank you, Seth.
-We have many memories working in this building.
And we've been good friends for nearly 15 years.
-Yeah, that's correct.
-But, sometimes, when you know somebody for that long,
there are moments when feelings get hurt.
-That's true.
Yeah, you don't always have a chance
to stop and say you're sorry.
-So I thought, with the time we have together right now,
we would make amends for any past indiscretions
we've committed against one -- committed against one another
in a segment we're calling...
-"Seth and Bill Clear the Air." -"Seth and Bill Clear the Air."
[ Chimes clinking ] [ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
-I will start.
Bill? -Yes, Seth?
-I'm sorry that I forgot to return your call last week.
Both of my kids had colds,
so things were crazy around the house.
-[ Sighs ] [ Laughter ]
-It was a really important call.
I really needed you, man.
I was freaking out, and I needed a friend.
And, uh, you were nowhere to be found.
-Oh, my God. What happened?
-[ Sighs ] I couldn't remember the name of that Kesha song.
[ Laughter ]
The one she did on "SNL" in 2010.
-"TiK ToK"? -"TiK ToK."
Right. [ Laughter ]
-Bill, do you forgive me? -Seth, you are forgiven.
[ Chimes clinking ] [ Cheers and applause ]
My turn.
[ Cheers and applause continue ]
Seth? -Yes, Bill?
-I'm sorry about getting you kicked out of that party
last year.
-Yeah. Why did you do that?
-I didn't think you were really Seth Meyers.
[ Laughter ]
I thought you were a Seth Meyers impersonator
because you looked so tired and, well, fat.
[ Laughter ] You looked really, really fat.
[ Light laughter ]
-I weigh as much then as I do now.
-Oh, well, y-you look great now.
[ Laughter ]
Anyway, I'm really sorry.
But it was just one party, right?
No big deal.
-It was my birthday party.
[ Laughter ]
-That makes sense, because you looked really old.
And, uh, fat. [ Light laughter ]
Anyway, do you forgive me?
-Bill, you are forgiven.
[ Chimes clinking ] [ Cheers and applause ]
My turn.
Bill? -Yes, Seth?
-I'm sorry I forgot to return the book you lent me last month.
I'll definitely give it to you the next time I see you.
-Seth, do you have a soul?
[ Laughter ] -What?
-That is my property. My possession.
What kind of friend -- No, no.
What -- What kind of man -- Just -- Okay, you know what?
You just take.
You take and you take and you take,
and you don't care.
-I'm really, really sorry.
-I don't want to be bullied anymore, okay?
If this is -- If this friendship keeps being this toxic,
I'm out. -I will get your book back.
-Oh, you'll get me my book back.
'cause that's my only copy of "Catching Fire," okay?
The second book in the "Hunger Games" series.
And, for my money, the best of the three.
Now, the next time I sit down
to read the "Hunger Games" books,
I'm going to get to the third one
and be like, "What the [bleep] is going on?!"
[ Laughter ]
Because I don't have "Catching Fire"!
-You could watch the movies. -They made movies?
[ Laughter ] -Never mind.
Bill, do you forgive me?
-Seth, you are forgiven.
[ Chimes clinking ]
[ Applause ]
My turn.
Seth? -Yes, Bill?
-I'm sorry that, if we were stranded on a desert island,
I would not hesitate to kill you, eat you,
and use your bones as hunting tools.
[ Light laughter ] -I'm sorry.
Are you apologizing for a hypothetical situation?
[ Light laughter ] -Yes.
Because the killing and eating
would happen really fast. [ Laughter ]
Like we wouldn't even be starving, per se.
We'd be hungry, sure.
But, like, how you're hungry before a dinner
on a day when you've had a decent-sized lunch.
[ Light laughter ] -Uh-huh.
-And it's not like we're on an island
that doesn't have food.
It has vegetation.
A lot of slow-moving boars that are easy to kill.
And for some reason,
tons of Costco-sized boxes of corn flakes.
[ Light laughter ]
-Then why do you kill and eat me?
-I'm sorry.
I should have started this whole thing differently.
Seth, I'm sorry that I want to kill and eat you.
[ Laughter ]
-Hypothetically?
[ Laughter ]
-Sure. [ Light laughter ]
Do you forgive me?
-Bill, you are forgiven.
[ Chimes clinking ]
[ Applause ]
My turn.
Bill? -Yes, Seth?
-I'm sorry I wasn't able to be there
when you hosted "SNL" last year -- I couldn't make it.
But I watched it the next morning on my DVR,
and you were great.
-Yeah, the show's best watched live.
-I'm sorry?
-You see, Seth, it's a real high-wire act.
Nothing really beats the rush
of performing live on national television.
I mean, you probably wouldn't get it.
-I was on "Saturday Night Live" with you.
We were in the same cast for eight years.
-You were? [ Laughter ]
What characters did you play?
-Well, I didn't really play any characters.
-Because I played a lot of characters.
One of my favorite characters was Stefon.
[ Cheers and applause ]
I used to go on "Weekend Update"
and do these 3-to-4-minute pieces
that turned into 12-minute pieces
'cause I started laughing. [ Light laughter ]
It was amazing. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I was there. -You were?
[ Light laughter ] Well, it's hard to see
who was in the audience with all the lights off.
[ Laughter ]
-No, I-I was hosting "Weekend Update."
I was sitting next to you.
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, yeah. -[ Chuckles ]
That was you. [ Laughter ]
Yeah. -Yeah.
You were a lot younger. [ Laughter ]
Yeah, and not as fat. -All right.
[ Laughter ] Anyway, do you forgive me?
-Seth, you are forgiven. -Oh.
[ Chimes clinking ] I love you, Seth.
-I love you, too, buddy. [ Cheers and applause ]
This has been...
-"Seth and Bill Clear the Air." -"Seth and Bill Clear the Air."