Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down by being told to calm
down. If we can't force ourselves into calming down how do we do it?
The autonomic nervous system controls our stress response. This is the fight
flight freeze response and it also controls the relaxation response which
is known as rest and digest. But we can't easily control this part of our nervous
system with just our thoughts. So, instead of trying to think ourselves calm, one
effective approach to turn on calm is to access your nervous system through your body.
Hey guys Emma here it just wanted to let you know that this video is one segment
from my much more in-depth course on coping skills and self-care. The course
is on udemy.com and there's a link in the description with a coupon code where
you can get a massive discount. So if you want to learn more coping skills or ways
to manage your emotions when they're really intense check out the link in the
description. Okay back to the video. Your mind and body are
closely connected and just like your brain it can trigger your body to be
anxious by thinking these worrisome thoughts, your body can also trigger your
brain to be calmed through sensory soothing. When I've had a long day doing
therapy and parenting my three tiny children, I often feel really tense and
pretty exhausted. It seems like throughout the day that stress just
builds and builds. But one of my favorite things to do after the children go to
bed is to take a steaming hot bath. During the long soak, my muscles soften
my mind relaxes and gosh I just feel calmer just thinking about it right now.
Something about the feel of hot water triggers that calming reaction. This is
my favorite form of sensory soothing. Sensory soothing is an important part of
calming the emotions from a bottom-up approach by using sights, smells, your
sense of touch, or hearing, you can turn on the calming part of your nervous system
and soothe your brain. Then, once you're calm
you can choose words and actions that are going to be more helpful. So this is
called sensory soothing and these can be effective coping skills for when you're
upset. They can help you get centered, slow things down, and you can come back
to a problem when you're calm. One of my students just shared this example. I have
a long commute but I travel with an old washtub a nice bar of soap a gallon of
water and a washcloth. On the long ride I take a break to wash my hands and face.
The smell of the soap, the coolness of the water and the old tub reminds me of
home. It's simple, it's calming, and it is enough. Here are some examples of sensory
coping skills. Smell, slowly smell a favorite scent. Cinnamon, vanilla, perfume.
You can use an essential oil diffuser or put a drop into a diffuser necklace or a
piece of paper. Put on some scented lotion. Use an essential oil, use a bath
balm to make a scented bath. Touch, hold a warm rice pack or heating pad, take a hot
bath, shower in the dark, pet an animal, wash your face with very cold water, hold
an ice cube, and notice what cold feels like. Or, you can feel a comfortable
texture. So this is like a child holding a blanket or an adult holding a rosary.
Or you could try rubbing something smooth like a stone or a piece of satin.
Taste, drink a hot drink slowly, or eat a small treat slowly, savoring the taste.
Sound, go someplace very quiet and sit very still, go for a walk by yourself
with headphones on listening to music you love. Body movement, also known as
proprioceptive. Go for a walk, exercise or play a sport, stretch your muscles, do one
yoga pose, swing on a swing set, rock in a rocking chair, or you can step outside
for a breath of fresh air. Check out the two exercises included with this section
taking a hot shower in the dark and the 5 4 3 2 1 grounding
technique. After that we're going to move on to relaxing coping skills.