Should we have Trever for this? [editor's note: Trever's our bartender, you nerds]
I feel like we should have Trever for this.
Let's promise that we never ever tell Trever what we're doing.
He'll be so disappointed in us.
He will be, he'll be sorely disappointed.
[the modulated rogue] The modern rogue makes prison wine.
All right, so I suppose safety warnings right out the gate.
Nobody should try this at home, we are not telling anybody that this is safe, smart,
or something they should try.
This is an awful idea, and it's going to be real gross.
Oh my god, uh, yeah.
All right, so we're making prison wine, aka "pruno?"
There are a bunch of other names, but pruno is the most popular one.
Now we made our own homebrew beer using the rogue's brew kit, and for that it was a case
of--you know, you had the wart and the mash, and the... yeast and the hops.
And basically, yeast eats sugar, poops out CO2 and alcohol, right?
Yes.
But this is not the technique we're using to make this alcohol?
No, because in prison you have far fewer ingredients.
This is basically just rotted fruit and sugar.
Oh god, what are we doing?
Yeah, yeah.
It's like those videos you see online of the raccoon that ate all of the fruits on the vine.
Sure, yeah.
And is drunk and stumbling around, that's what we're going to do!
Right, okay so let's get started.
It is a lengthy process, but first we're going to start off by putting ten peeled oranges
into a ziplock bag.
Is this going to fit in there?
Oh jeez.
They're already pretty ripe.
>> Jason: Yeah, and it's almost full.
>> Jason: So ten peeled oranges, an eight ounce can of fruit cocktail.
With all the syrup in it, and everything?
Yeah sure, why not?
That's where the good stuff is.
>> Jason: I don't even eat the fruits in fruit cocktail, I just drink the goop.
All right.
Now, I don't know why...
No.
No!
>> Jason: Six teaspoons--
Six teaspoons?
--of ketchup.
I'll bet that it's for the, um, the vinegar in there.
Oh, sure!
>> Brian: The vinegar probably helps to keep it from getting super infected or something.
>> Brian: Heaping or level?
>> Jason: Does it matter?
And this is supposed to be good?
No, it's not!
But it should result in something that is anywhere from two percent alcohol by volume
to fourteen percent alcohol by volume. >> Brian: Okay all right, all right.
>> Jason: Is that six? >> Brian: Yep.
And now... more sugar.
Of course.
50 cubes of sugar.
Are you kidding me?
Yeah, not on the diet at all.
Uh, okay.
This is all just pure sugar.
>> Brian: Ah there we go. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
>> Brian: That's seven, and that's six more.
Now the most popularized recipe for this comes from a poem called Recipe For Pruno written
by Jarvis Masters, a deathrow inmate in San Quentin.
30. I want to hear it.
>> Brian: 45.
This is Recipe For Prison Pruno, a poem by Jarvis Masters.
"Take ten peeled oranges, Jarvis Masters, it is the judgement and sentence of this court,"
"one 8 oz. bowl of fruit cocktail,"
"that the charged information was true, squeeze the fruit into a small plastic bag,"
This doesn't rhyme at all!
No, it doesn't, but I'm going to stop there because it's--
I don't want to hear the Rime of the Ancient Mariner.
It's kind of depressing as well.
Uh, okay great.
>> Brian: All right, so then now what?
>> Jason: Now, that we have most of our prime ingredients in here.
Prime!
That's a phrase.
We're going to zip it up.
Okay.
And you want to be careful not to puncture the bag, but we're going to start mashing it up.
>> Brian: Okay, well here, let's get rid of some of this air, because I don't want you to...
>> Jason: Oh, to pop it! Yeah, yeah.
>> Jason: It's going to be tough with the sugar though, right?
>> Brian: Well here, once we start mashing, hopefully the liquids will dissolve the sugar.
Will break down the sugar, yeah.
>> Jason: Yeah, you gotta get in there and really knead the sack.
>> Brian: Hehehueh, "knead the sack."
>> Brian: Oh god, you smell that ketchup.
Like it starts to smell good and then it's like, no.
No it's not.
This is going to be tasty, I don't even know if we should ferment it, I think we should
just drink it right now.
You know what?
I'm thinking right now is as good as it's going to get.
It is not going to get any better in a week.
>> Jason: I think that looks good.
>> Jason: It looks like a good consistency.
>> Jason: You really want to mash it up until it's like a paste.
And now we're going to add 16 ounces of tap water.
All right, do we have another bag?
Yeah.
And we're adding how much, two cups of water?
Uh, yeah 16 ounces.
That, is our batch!
Now what we're supposed to do is heat it up, we need to run it under warm water for about
20 minutes or so.
Okay, and we're trying to get it how warm?
Not hot!
I'm not liking this, okay.
All right.
Warm it up, and then we're going to wrap it up, and store it away in darkness.
That is important.
I'm going to start running this under warm water.
[water running]
All right, we've got warm, pulpy goop, and we don't have yeast, but there is bacteria in there.
And what is that bacteria called?
Zymomonas mobilis is one, I don't know if it's in there.
I assume it is.
It's one of the bacteria that will--there's also a fungus who has a name I can not pronounce.
But apparently fungus, bacteria, and yeast are able to create alcohol so I'm going to
assume bacteria's the agent in this one.
And what does bacteria like?
Sugar, uh food, and dark!
Yes.
Because otherwise light has a sterilizing effect, right?
It will propagate in warm, dark places.
So we're going to wrap it up in this tarp to keep it both warm and dark.
And we're going to tuck it away, and now every day you're going come out here and burp your
baby and re-heat it for about 15 minutes under warm water.
I didn't realize I was in for the long haul on this.
>> Brian: Now I have a commitment!
>> Jason: You're going to do that every day for nine days, and then I'm going to come back out
here and we're going to toast.
[weird, uncomfortable noises?]
And then we're going to die!
Ah, okay.
Let's say, nutty idea, you're not a fan of the idea of bacteria fermentation.
You want something cleaner, you want something faster.
I've heard there's an easier way using just yeast.
Now, you're supposed to use champagne yeast, but I believe theoretically it should work
just fine with baking yeast, so I figure we'll do two batches.
This yeast is the yeast from a brewing kit that we have over at ScamStuff, this yeast
I just grabbed out of the kitchen, and you can use any fruit juice.
As long as it has 20 grams of sugar per serving, orange juice has like 45 grams of sugar per
serving, so there should be plenty of sugar for the yeast in there.
And if you use something like Welch's grape juice, that's like 35 grams of sugar per serving.
So I got two containers, we basically just fill up the containers with orange juice.
>> Brian: You don't want it filled all the way up, because it will increase in volume as the yeast eats
the sugar and releases CO2, you'll get foam coming out the top so you want a gap up top.
This one's going to be so much easier and less illicit, isn't it?
>> Brian: It's also going to taste great, and get us actually hammered, and not send us to the hospital.
Now theoretically, if we're actual brewers, we should know exactly how many teaspoons
of the stuff to put in.
I just want to experiment, this is what happens when an idiot tries it.
- Here, you try that one. - Okay.
Let's try a quarter teaspoon in there, and I'll do two of these for this since it's a bigger volume.
>> Brian: All right, now you notice it's floating right on top?
So we'll kind of get it mixed up, spread throughout.
All right, now here's the thing.
Over the next two or three days, that yeast is going to start eating sugar, pooping out
alcohol, but it's also going to release CO2.
So if you leave this sealed, it'll eventually explode.
So there's two ways to handle it, we're going to do the fancy way with one of these proper
valve stoppers.
We're going to put a little bit of water in there, so as the CO2 goes out, no contaminants get in.
>> Jason: Oh good, okay.
And same thing with that.
But, let's say if you don't have one of these, you could just take a balloon and put it over the top.
That latex barrier will keep outside things from corrupting the inside, and then also
all that gas will just inflate.
Now that stopper here, as this fills up with CO2, watch.
The gas bubbles will start letting it out like that.
>> Jason: Oh sure.
So soon as tomorrow we should start seeing bubbles coming up, meaning it's fermenting.
How long is this one supposed to take?
>> Brian: Two to three days.
- Oh, really? >> Brian: Yeah.
>> Jason: Much more easy.
Yeah, safer, better.
Get your hands on yeast.
I do not trust that bacteria doing the job down there.
>> Jason: And now we wait. >> Brian: Yeah.
[smooth hip hop beat plays under the light ambiance of a nearby road, representative of the industrial nature of the process of video production but also contrasted with a fairly carefree attitude, not only with alcohol production, but also captioning]
Ten days, burp this thing like a nasty, filthy, petulant, diaper-soaked baby.
You didn't, you had someone else do it.
I did it, like half the time.
Did you really?!
Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah.
Did you dip into the stash?
Oh god, no, okay.
There were flies buzzing around this thing.
Really?!
And every time you opened--
It's double-bagged!
You burp it, and just take a little aromatic whiff.
Okay.
Hooh!
It's uh, stings the nostrils.
May I?
It's pungent.
Oh god! Oh--
[laughter]
It's just a bunch of rotted fruit that's been in ketchup, that's been kept warm.
Okay, what do we do with it now?
What do we do with it now?
Okay, we gotta run it through a strainer, we have to run it through some cheesecloth.
All right, well.
Let's get to it.
>> Brian: All right, cheesecloth strainer, coming up.
Okay.
Oh-ugh.
>> Jason: I'm just going to dump it.
Okay, let me make sure I'm holding...
Yeah, tighten it up.
>> Jason: There we go. Good, good good.
>> Jason: Got it? >> Brian: Yeah.
- Okay. - Oh god!
Ohhh, it's splashing on me!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Oh god!
Oh I can't escape the stench!
Well you know what comes next?
You having a rough time?
I--a little bit.
Because that's going in our bodies.
Yeah, do we need to squeeze it?
Grab those opposite edges from me, so we can lift it up like a bag.
Euggghhh. Oh, wow.
Okay.
I'm just going to get in there and do it, man.
>> Brian: It's a thing.
>> Jason: I'm just doing it.
This is probably the worst thing that we've done on this show.
More than we'll ever, ever need.
Here, put it, there you go.
I just don't want any of this to splash anywhere.
This is where I have to be very, very careful not to spill any.
>> Jason: See it doesn't look bad!
Holy crap, man.
We did it! We made prison wine.
We did!
This is authentic, prison-grade hooch.
Is it safe?
No!
What do you mean, "no?"
Considering that this is a lot of mold and bacteria, it's rotten fruit...
you can get botulism and die.
Right, uh, that was a good experiment and we made some damn fine prison wine.
If this was a laboratory, if I could vouch for everything being clean, I might be tempted
to give this a try, but I definitely saw fruit flies crawling in and out of that thing as
it sat in a corner of this warehouse for ten days straight, and if you're telling me that
botulism's on the menu, I'm going to say good on us for having made that, but I am super
stoked to try these.
The pruno fermented over ten days using bacteria and mold, this is using yeast, so it only
takes two to three days, so I came back two days ago and re-made this.
The big one has the brewing yeast in it, the small one had the bakers yeast.
And I don't know if it's just the container size, but look at the difference in how much
out-gassing is happening on the fancy yeast.
>> Jason: Yeah, this one's practically percolating and this one's not really doing it much at all.
Yeah, it's hard to know how much booziness is in there.
I'm guessing that this'll just tastes like old, warm orange juice.
This one I expect to have some kick and actually be pretty good.
Okay.
All right, you down for this?
Yeah!
Now this one, unlike the pruno, is perfectly safe.
You ain't going to get me saying that!
I mean, as far--as far as I know, two-day-old orange juice with some yeast in it, I don't
think is going to kill us.
I don't recommend anybody try any of this at home, do your own research.
Don't blame us.
But I do know there are commercial products that are intended to do exactly what we're
doing, so I have to assume... it's not that bad.
>> Jason: What a ringing endorsement!
"I have to assume it's not that bad."
Put that on the label.
Yes.
- Here's to swimmin' with bow-legged women. - Oh my god.
It just tastes like orange juice.
- It tastes like orange juice. - Yeah.
And you can taste the yeast, you can definitely smell the yeast.
Yeah, I normally have an okay palette when it comes to tasting when there's alcohol in
something.
If you gave this to me I would just assume it's sparkling orange juice.
Meanwhile this guy's a roiling cauldron!
>> Jason: All right. >> Brian: They're singing to us, Jason!
>> Brian: Now this looks clearer,
>> Brian: I'm tempted to think...
>> Jason: Oh, it's fizzing! >> Brian: No!
>> Jason: Yeah.
Oh my god!
Oh, wow!
You can smell the hoochiness.
Oh, yeah.
This really doesn't smell much different than that.
Not to me.
It smells way, way different.
Maybe it was the notes of ketchup I was getting from the other one.
This one seems fine.
It has a good nose on it. Hmm.
Oh wow, okay.
Oh very different.
Yeah, so uh, way more bubblier.
This is super sparkling orange.
Not as sweet.
Not nearly as sweet, which tells me that this yeast has been doing its job, munching up
the sugar, pooping out the alcohol.
Uh, these guys are lazy bastards, all just hanging out at the bottom.
I'm not feeling it yet, but...
I mean, it seems to me like, if you're going to go to prison, might as well smuggle some
yeast up your butt, for when you're there.
This gets a huge thumbs up, so I'm going to say, if you want to do this at home: number
one, do your research; number two, get some champagne yeast or brewers yeast and go to town.
This was exactly two days, and I put a whole bunch in there, I wanted to make sure that
this was working.
And it's easy!
It doesn't require any baby-sitting.
No, this one required nothing, that one was demon scary, but this one was great.
I don't think Trever would approve.
What, you don't want to bring him a jug?