being convinced we were at step three which is that we decided to turn our will and our
life over to god as we understood him just what do we mean by that and just what do we do
the first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success
on that basis we are almost always in collision with something or
somebody even though our motives are good most people try to live by self-propulsion
each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show is forever trying to arrange the
lights the ballet the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way if his arrangements
would only stay put if only people would do as he wished the show would be great everybody
including himself would be pleased life would be wonderful in trying to make these arrangements
our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous he may be kind considerate patient generous even
modest and self-sacrificing on the other hand he may be mean egotistical selfish and dishonest
but as with most humans he is more likely to have varied traits what usually happens
the show doesn't come off very well he begins to think life doesn't treat him right
he decides to exert himself more he becomes on the next occasion still more demanding or
gracious as the case may be still the play does not suit him admitting he may be somewhat at fault
he is sure that other people are more to blame he becomes angry indignant self-pitying
what is his basic trouble is he not really a self-seeker even when trying to be kind
is he not a victim of a delusion that he can rest satisfaction and happiness out of this world
if he only manages well is it not evident to all the rest of the players that these are the
things he wants and do not his actions make each of them wish to retaliate snatching all
they can get out of the show is he not even in his best moments a producer of confusion
rather than harmony our actor is self-centered egocentric as people like to call it nowadays
he is like the retired businessman who lols in the florida sunshine in the winter complaining
of the sad state of the nation the minister whose size over the sins of the 20th century
politicians and reformers who are sure all would be utopia if the rest of the world
would only behave the outlaw safecracker who thinks society has wronged him
and the alcoholic who has lost all and is locked up whatever our protestations are not most of us
concerned with ourselves our resentments or our self-pity selfishness self-centeredness that we
think is the root of our troubles driven by a hundred forms of fear self-delusion
self-seeking and self-pity we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate sometimes they
hurt us seemingly without provocation but we invariably find that at some time in the past
we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt
so our troubles we think are basically of our own making they arise out of ourselves and the
alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot though he usually doesn't think so
above everything we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness we must or it kills us
god makes that possible and there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self
without his aid many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore
but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to neither could we reduce our
self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power we had to have god's help
this is the how and why of it first of all we had to quit playing god it didn't work
next we decided that hereafter in this drama of life god was going to be our director he
is the principal we are his agents he is the father and we are his children
most good ideas are simple and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant
arch through which we passed to freedom when we sincerely took such a position all sorts of
remarkable things followed we had a new employer being all powerful he provided what we needed
if we kept close to him and performed his work well established on such a footing we became less
and less interested in ourselves our little plans and designs more and more we became interested
in seeing what we could contribute to life as we felt new power flow in as we enjoyed peace of mind
as we discovered we could face life successfully as we became conscious of his presence
we began to lose our fear of today tomorrow or the hereafter we were reborn
we were now at step three many of us said to our maker as we understood him god
i offer myself to thee to build with me and to do with me as thou wilt relieve me of the bondage of
self that i may better do thy will take away my difficulties that victory over them may
bear witness to those i would help of thy power by love and thy way of life may i do thy will always
we thought well before taking this step making sure we were ready that we could at
last abandon ourselves utterly to him we found it very desirable to take this spiritual step
with an understanding person such as our wife best friend or spiritual advisor
but it is better to meet god alone than with one who might misunderstand the wording was of course
quite optional so long as we expressed the idea voicing it without reservation this was only a
beginning though if honestly and humbly made an effect sometimes a very great one was felt at once
you