We're going out to the horse pen it's the end of the day
Um
It's- they started moving already (burps) we're out here at the horse pen. Let's go take a look.
These are really God's creatures.
We're in God's Country.
Gotta get someone to take care of this.
- Just leave it. Just leave it.
Gonna trip on it.
- Gus, come on. Leave the fence.
Come on.
(Burps while pointing at a horse)
(Whistles, Burps again and then continues whistling)
(Keeps whistling)
Come on, Betsy.
(Starts making raspberries in a horse-like way in an attempt to attract the horses)
They're not comin'.
(Makes another raspberry with his mouth)
Come on. (Clicks to attract horse)
They're getting startled. It's time for them to roost. Most Clydesdales will roost around 6 to 8 p.m
I'll call that one Cliven Bundy. (Please stop burping) tryin' to get these ones over here, but
(Burps yet again) looks like they're nesting for the night. Must have a new batch of eggs. They've seemed pretty territorial
They're in God's country out here,
Jesus Christ, specifically.
Take a gander over here.
- What are we looking at?
Come over here, Mom, God.
Is this asparagus?
- Yes.
How long does it take these guys to shoot up?
- A couple days.
Wow.
That makes you think.
(Both snort)
Horse flies out here.
- That's not a Horse fly.
Just- shut up.
Keep moving, (snorts) we're running outta daylight.
You said these were Lilacs over here?
- Yep.
These are deciduous trees.
- No, they're not.
(Sighs) Just, don't.
We got a couple stray cats out here. We've been feeding them
um.. spaghetti.
We keep telling 'em to come inside, but they don't-
they can't understand.
There's a piven squirrel over there you missed it
Wait a minute. Wait, I don't know if you know this but this basically is the smallest hot sauce I've had ever.
Definitely top three. Or.. bottom three? Only god can judge.
Come over here.
It's a quarter of wood I cut this. Take- it's pretty hard.
A lot of people take it for granted (Noise offscreen)
STOP.
Basically I live like this.
UGH!
Ugh!
(more grunting and wacking)
(Blows nose)
- Just wipe it off with a leaf or something.
I don't wanna touch it I don't wanna get staph.
- Get a leaf! Just get a leaf.
This is the Lord's land.
I usually will come out here on my dirt bike or moped and just turn off the engine for a while. I think we could all benefit from that.
I don't need a foundation tell me I can make a wish.
This for world peace (yay).
This for that kid that says he can't swing the bat at the balls.
This is for hope.
This for change.
This is for the future.
STOP.
Calibrate. Look for one second. Take a break from your smartphone
See these mosquitos? That's Satan at work in God's World.
Wanna get rid of Satan? We gotta get rid of 'squitos.
Something think about.
(Bursts out laughing)
- Wipe your nose.
Don't tell me what to do!
- This is disgusting.
You're-
You're a part of the problem, Mom.
- Nobody wants to see disgusting, stupid stuff.
I pay you by the hour not to talk.
- Your butt hangin' out is so stupid, just pull your pants up.
Maybe if you would fashion me another belt we wouldn't have this problem
City folk take this for granted.
- I can't even look at you.
STOP!
- Just wipe that off.
Take a moment to step back and relax.
- Imma turn this off.
See that?
That's called turning off the smartphone for once.
Maytag.
Come on.
You people are used to seeing the same side of me.
He gets in front of camera.
He has fun.
He knows technology.
You haven't seen this.
You haven't seen the hurt I have.
You haven't seen me out here in God's country.
This is where we are and we're born and where we're gonna end up.
Something to think about.
(Bursts into laughter)