Let's go to the next question. Hey Tripp, I've been listening to your podcast for over a year
and I'm loving each episode. Thanks man. It's been helping me with various parts of life and I'm glad
I found it. I have a few questions I would love for you to answer on the podcast. We got a lot
of questions here. Let's do this. One, I have an issue creating small talk and find myself jumping
the gun each time I start talking to a girl online or in person. For example, after asking where she
is from, what she does for work, what she does for fun, I end up asking her if she's single or she
wants to date. My buddy said I'm rushing and need to create small talk. Could you give me some tips
on how to improve small talk? I'll start with this question. The best way to improve small talk...
the best thing that you can do is... by the way, I think it's totally fine as a cold approach...
to before you go on the date... so however you meet her in some sort of cold approach
setting or maybe it's a hobby setting or networking, whatever... it's okay
to ask those questions. What do you do for fun? Where are you from? Da da da da.
You are doing small talk. The problem is, it sounds like you're not expanding on it.
So I don't think your problem is how to improve small talk. I think your real question is how do I
make this conversation go a little bit longer and maybe even deeper into deep talk and into big talk
than having that five minute conversation about what are you doing and where are you from?
That's fine to bring up in a conversation. That's normal because it's more about
how you say what you're saying, not what you're saying. But it doesn't help if you're doing that
for just a couple of minutes. What you want to do, to answer your question, is you want to use
the technique of extraction. Extracting a word from what she's saying and talk about that for
a little bit. If you're asking her where she's from and she says where she's from,
don't just go right to the next question and say, oh, what do you do? Expand on it. Go into it.
Use this time to tease her, to flirt with her. Use this time to challenge her. Challenging is
a great way of flirting. Challenging means that you're saying things to her where you're saying
questions based on what you're looking for in a partner. It's like so....
you're not one of those girls who just sits on their couch all day and doesn't
do anything athletic are you? Again, that'd be a great challenging question if you're looking
for someone who's more active and physically fit. You got to be using inside of the small
talk inside and in between these questions, other questions and other statements and
maybe potentially even stories or anecdotes or whatever it may be that you can talk on
to then expand the conversation to allow for more connection because the longer you talk to them,
the more invested they get. Women take time to become attracted. Women are...
and this is coming from RSD Julian, he says this – women are a dial and men are a light switch.
Genius. He is absolutely right. Women take more time to build attraction. A man can be turned on
like that. Women take a little bit more time so you want expand the small talk. Alright,
let's go to number two. This is great. It looks like this is going into what we were just talking
about. He says number two, you keep talking about having non-negotiables for your ideal girl. Could
you do an episode that helps us figure out how to make them. I tried but it ended up too long and I
thought I was too picky. Any help is appreciated. I should mention, I do have a book by the way
that talks about this. It is also in the hooked program. But if you're a guy who likes to read,
or a person who likes to listen to an audio book, then Magnetic would be a great option
for you. Magnetic is on Amazon, you can check it out. The link is in my show notes as well.
But I talked about the non-negotiables in depth in there. But I'll give you a little tip right
now for non-negotiables. Non-negotiables, you want 3. Why three? Any more than 3, and you narrow your
pool so small it becomes harder to find that woman that you're interested in. So you want
3 good non-negotiables. How to figure that out? Honestly, I'll give you some tips here.
Think fit, feminine and friendly. Honestly, I would use those as a starting point for your
non-negotiables. Try not to use non-negotiables like she really likes me, she's really into me,
she's really sweet, she doesn't have daddy issues. Those should just be default.
That is default the kind of woman that you want anyways. Meaning, of course you're gonna want
a girl who's nice and a girl who likes you and a girl who's sweet and all those things.
Try to think about is this something that okay, every girl should have this or is this specific
to what I want? Some guys want someone who is specifically good at their finances. I would
say one non-negotiable has to be surrounded by kids, whether you want kids or don't want kids.
You got to figure out, do you want that or not want that so that should be one of your
non-negotiables. That's a big one too. I would use that, that's some tips for that.
Try to figure out how to narrow it down and if you can't narrow it down play with them a little bit.
Start to date women that have some of them or don't have some of them and then you're going
to figure out which ones are actually important versus ones that are not.