Hey guys,
do you question your flirting skills
because you don't know how to flirt with any woman?
Never mind the one you really like,
do you cringe at yourself
after walking away from talking to her?
Or do you avoid flirting altogether
because it just feels so awkward?
If you answered yes, to any of these questions
you are not alone my friend.
The truth is some men
are naturals and do know how to flirt
with just about any woman.
But flirting doesn't come naturally
to most guys
or women for that matter.
And even if you are the most confident guy
with most women
as soon as you get around your crush
the one you really like
you're often at a loss for words.
But you don't need to worry because
if you are struggling with flirting
by the end of this video
you'll know six ways to master flirting,
and the one thing you should never overdo.
If you're new to my channel
welcome to just the tip Tuesday.
All right, let's look at these
in reverse order
leading up to the most important flirting tip.
Number six,
be confident.
Obviously this one's not a big surprise
but yes, it is challenging.
Unfortunately or maybe fortunately
to learn how to flirt with any woman
confidence is so critical.
You need to either be
or seem confident.
The good news is
confidence is a skill you can learn.
Okay, now I’m going to give you a confidence hack in a minute
but just know
that the more you fake it
the quicker you make it.
In other words, the beauty of confidence is
the more you act like you're confident
even if you're not quite there yet
the sooner you will actually start to feel confident.
We're going to go over physiology
and psychology because key point,
our physiology
affects our psychology
and our psychology affects our physiology.
What do I mean by this?
Glad you asked.
Basically, even if you don't feel confident
if you act as if you are
play the role
your body starts to incorporate
that feeling and you actually start
to believe you're confident.
It doesn't happen overnight obviously
but it does happen or can happen.
And again I’m going to give you some more tips
for how to do this
how to build confidence in a way
that is natural and easy.
Okay, but here's a key point,
successful confidence building
like any skill
does require
the investment of taking
uncomfortable and unfamiliar action
not just thinking about it.
But let's look at something simple that you can do
that's practical.
So, for example,
stand up straight, shoulders back,
take up space,
maintain good posture.
This is your physiology part
when you do that
it sends a message to your brain
that you're confident.
Now you might not believe your brain just yet
but you're going to notice a difference between
if you're standing up straight with your shoulders back
taken up space
than if you're hunched over
and basically trying to hide within yourself.
Try it, try it right now I dare you.
Also, practice not fidgeting so much.
Fidgeting makes you look nervous
because that means you are nervous.
So, if you can't stop fidgeting
or if you're not sure if you really are or not
stick your hands in your pockets
until you can overcome
that glitch
and be calm enough to use them
for number two coming up.
Now, in tip number four
when we get there
I’m going to give you a confidence tip
that will help you
feel and seem confident
without overdoing it.
Number five is a bit scary for a lot of guys
make and hold eye contact.
I know.
Now I know this one is really
intimidating for a lot of guys.
Let's say you see a woman that you like
or it's someone that you already know that you like
and you're looking at her
she catches you looking so what do you do?
You quickly look away.
You don't want her to think
that you're some creepy stalker guy
of course but it shows a lack of confidence.
But if you can gather up the courage
to maintain eye contact
for three seconds,
which seems like an eternity when you're in it
she will see that as both confident
and you showing interest.
She's got to know you're interested.
Now, a way to make this easier
than just staring her down for three seconds,
which does feel like a long time
is when she actually locks eyes with you
then you're going to nod, smile, or wave.
If you know her
and she maintains that eye contact
especially if you think she might be interested
but you're not sure
you can wink at her.
Now you only use the wink
if you're feeling bold
and really confident that it's not going to screw up
your relationship with her especially if
it's somewhere where it could be awkward
if she doesn't have a reciprocal interest.
But if you do wink
then you're going to laugh a little under your breath
because it's kind of audacious.
But throwing in a smile, nod, or wave
reduces the intensity of those three seconds
and makes it not so creepy.
If she has a positive response
like blushing or smiling or giggling
smile or laugh
like you're amused by her reaction
that shows confidence
it makes her want to talk to you.
However, don't continue to stare her down
either walk over to her
or wave her over to come and talk to you.
Eye contact
is a way to further fascinate her
and let her know
in a subtle but confident way
that you're interested.
So, let her catch you looking at her.
And yes,
this can work on a woman you've never met
or the crush you've known for a long time
that's changing the dynamic
maybe you've been in the friend zone for far too long.
And if you can be playful about it
then tip number four,
naturally follows, humor.
Flirting is all about
building sexual tension
in a fun playful
non-threatening way.
Save the mysterious bad boy stuff
for when you've already seduced her
she feels safe with you
and you want to take it to a different level.
In the meantime,
just be fun, playful,
and not too intense
and you'll get a lot further
with a high value woman of any age.
Now, some restrictions do apply for
using a sense of humor.
Let's look at some examples.
Don't overdo joking.
If you joke too much
it's going to feel like you're trying too hard
and it's going to fizzle her flame of attraction.
More on that in a minute.
Also, beware
of overly self-deprecating humor.
Humbleness is actually very attractive
but when you don't know her very well
or you use it with humor
it can actually show you don't value yourself.
So, my tip
is to only use self-deprecating humor
if you're actually joking
about something that's a positive about yourself.
Never joke about something that
can easily be perceived
by yourself or others as a negative
or that you are actually insecure about.
And if she throws a barb at you,
which women will sometimes do
if they're testing you or
just to see how you react
or just to be playful
never react,
never defend,
turn it around into a positive.
For example, let's say
you're the same height as her
or maybe a little shorter
and she says
well I don't really date guys who
aren't taller than me when I wear heels.
Okay, all right, that's an objection.
More on objections in a minute.
You can playfully say
doesn't really matter when a couple's horizontal.
That's bold
but it should make her laugh.
If it doesn't make her laugh she's not interested anyway.
If she does laugh she appreciates your confidence
you pass that test.
If she doesn't laugh
no loss.
Next but
don't keep talking about that perceived flaw
especially if it is something
you're sensitive about.
Move on like it wasn't a real objection at all.
At the same time you want to avoid insulting her
just like the barb might have been playful
but it kind of had a little poke of hurt in it,
you don't want to make her feel bad about herself
because she's going to associate
those feelings with being with you.
If she associates feeling bad with being with you
that's not going to build attraction
unless she's damaged.
I'm pretty sure you don't want an emotionally damaged woman,
right.
So, always laugh with her not at her.
Now again, it can be easy to
lean on humor as a crutch
so you don't want to overdo it.
If you're not sure
and you need some guidance
let's use the rule of thumb of
maybe up to three
funnies within an interaction.
You might start with a funny
because you want her to laugh right away.
When you first meet her
in the first few minutes of your interaction
maybe you throw one in
sleeping in the middle
and then maybe at the end
as a bookmark of another laughter.
Because what? Laughter releases endorphins.
Feel good endorphins and she associates that with being with you.
Now, a way to avoid insulting her
but to keep the tension alive
but you need to have the tension alive in order to
be able to build attraction
is to use tip number three,
tease her.
I've done a couple videos on teasing
but let's give you some extra information in this one.
So you want to mess with her a little bit
not in a mean way,
but just in a way that's playful
and makes her want to kind of
push you or shove you a little bit
just playfully
not seriously.
Now the way to do this
is to deliver
the tease with a bit of a compliment in it.
You want to take a woman on a little bit of a roller coaster ride.
Why women need stimulation
and tapping into
various different emotions and an interaction
is going to make her feel stimulated
and I’m going to share a little bit more
about best and worst compliments later.
But generally if you think it's going to hurt her feelings don't say it.
You can always find something to tease about
no matter what you're talking about.
For example, let's say she says she has a sister
you can playfully nudge her and say
is she as hot as you?
Or depending on how old you are and what's appropriate.
In the context you might be able to say
is she as beautiful as you?
Is she single?
Is she as smart as you?
Is she single, is she as cute as you, is she single?
Whatever compliment is sincere
about the girl you're talking to
or the woman you're talking to
but then you're saying hey maybe your sister's better.
Now, if she likes you or she's easygoing
she should laugh at this because
you're not serious you're obviously interested in her
not her sister hopefully.
But at the same time
you slip that compliment in
because you said
hot, smart, beautiful, cute,
whatever it is that you've stuck in there
she knows you're talking about her.
Now, if she doesn't take it the right way
or maybe you didn't deliver it very well
because you're practicing
and she doesn't have the best reaction
you can go too much
yeah, that was too much.
So, you kind of laugh at yourself in that moment
because you both know you're trying to be funny
but if she doesn't laugh
then it needs to be patched up a little bit.
But if she does like you
or not to dislike you
when she has a sense of humor
she should laugh and maybe give you
a playful little shove like ha, ha.
Just roll with it.
Let's look at another example,
this one just about anybody will be able to use.
So, let's say she asks you how old you are
you want to exaggerate your age
by about 30 years
more or less.
So, let's say you're 67
you can say
37 life's been rough
or let's say you're 37 you can say
67 and wink.
If it's an obvious exaggeration
she should laugh
but and here's a key point,
if she asks again
then you want to give her the truthful answer.
Don't keep throwing out the tease
forever after
because that can actually get tedious
and annoying.
So, she says okay but how old are you really?
Well, if you're 67 you might say
actually I’m 67
but I don't feel a day over 65
or I’m only 37
are you disappointed?
Now, in this case about
the age question you definitely want to exaggerate
to a point where it's very obvious
because otherwise she might just think
you're lying to her.
Or she won't get it and it'll be like
okay, is he serious or is he not serious?
So, it has to be
exaggerated enough that
anyone looking at you would be like no.
And if you're getting pretty good at teasing
then it's a great accompaniment
accompaniment, accompaniment
to the next tip
for how to flirt with any woman.
Tip number two, touch her.
Of course, touch is one of the greatest
flirting techniques of all time
because it breaks that intimacy barrier.
You actually can't overdo it
if you're touching her appropriately
and gauging her reaction.
And if you aren't using touch to flirt
then you're missing out
on a great opportunity
to build sexual tension
that's absolutely necessary.
If you want to build attraction
and not a friendship
for example,
when you leave the interaction
touch her shoulder and give her a little squeeze.
That little squeeze
isn't going to hurt her but it's going to show
your masculine strength.
Men have a much greater grip strength than women
even if you're about the same size.
I think it's about 30%
or give her an elbow knock
when you are busy teasing her.
But don't put your arm around her
unless you can tie it into a joke
that's really appropriate.
And remember,
put your arm around her if you are going to do this
like she's a bratty little sister.
Of course, don't touch any part of her body inappropriately
because this is an instant turn off
if she's not ready, willing, and wanting it.
In the beginning you want to play it a little bit more safe
because you don't want to get in trouble
but also it will turn her off.
So, you let her advance
a little bit in the beginning and then you back off.
Or you can advance a little bit
but if she resists
then you back off and take it back down a few levels
until she progresses touch.
But in general
your touch should be light,
random, and playful
and it should send a little message the message that
you're interested in her
but you're not creepy.
Now, the next tip might surprise you.
Tip number one,
be very careful with sarcasm.
Now if you find someone who's got the same
sarcastic sense of humor as you
then that's great.
But what can sometimes happen is
even if she has the same sense of sarcasm as you do
in the beginning
it actually just looks mean-spirited
whether it's directed at her or someone else.
So of course, your conversation
does need to have tension
sarcasm can have
serious undertones.
Well it does really.
So, if you're not naturally a sarcastic person
you're not really good with sarcasm
then you want to avoid it all together.
If your sense of humor
is sarcastic
then save it maybe for a little bit later
once you've already built
a bit of a playful, fun, intriguing,
and positive
interaction with her.
So, maybe that's your last bit of humor
or maybe you save it for next time.
And always keep in mind
that flirting doesn't have to be
overly complicated, overly dramatic
it can be simple and natural.
And you don't have to use all of these tips
you choose the ones that
feel most natural for you
and work with that.
You can always expand later
if you feel adventurous.
Now, what about compliments?
Oh my gosh,
almost all guys
get compliments wrong
especially if the woman is beautiful.
Often you go in
focusing on her looks
just like every other guy does.
But if you want to actually stand out from all the guys
who she's rejected because of that
and other reasons
then you want to use
a different technique for complementing her.
One that's far more effective
and plays into her deeper emotions
so if you want to know how to do that
then watch my video
how to compliment women.
And if you found this video interesting or helpful
then please give it a like
and subscribe if you haven't already.
Thanks for being here, God bless.
(Music)