It’s a Q&A with me, Cristiano Ronaldo…
Ronchester United’s new #7!
What?
Ronchester Utd’s new penalty taker!
What?
Ronchester Utd’s new free-kick taker...
Surely that’s a typo?
Ronchester United’s soon to be new captain!
W... w... what?
And the sportsman with the biggest shirt in sales in 24 hours of signing
What?! You sold even more than me?
Yes, Tom Heaton I sold even more than you...
FAN SITE: How did you "convince" Cavani to give you the number 7 shirt?
I can be very persuasive when I need to be…
- Give me the number 7 shirt or else! - Or else what?
Or else I’ll get Ole to sell you to Barcelona!
- Take it! - Sii! And the shorts too..
HYPER_NINJA: How did you "convince" Bruno to give you the pens and freekicks after you pen miss vs Ireland
I can be very persuasive when I need to be…
Okay Okay! You can take penalties and free-kicks Just please… don’t shoot!
Sii! And the corners too...
ATHANASIOS MARKOU: How does it feel knowing Harry (The Slabhead) Maguire is your capitan this season?
There’s no way I’m taking orders from someone who looks like a Minecraft character.
Give me back my armband! Give me back my armband!
It’s mine, Harold! Go and craft yourself a vice-captain one!
ROSHAN JOHNS: To the second best footballer:- What's your opinion about Gareth Bale. Did you miss
I miss Gareth Bale like I miss my old teeth...
Jesus Christ, I look like Franck Ribery
ZAK THE RIPPER: Have a penalty challenge with Bruno to see who takes them in the future
I’ll go first… …like I do for Portugal…
- Sii! I win! - But I haven’t had my turn...
- It was first to 1 wins… - But...
Don’t be a bad loser, Bruno… I’m not
FREESTYLIN GAMERS: Cris how does it feel to be the second best player in the world?
I don’t know what’s worse, the fact you called me the second best player in the world or the fact you called me Cris.
This isn’t Resident Evil, Freestylin Gamer...
SGC_JOSE: It's funny how you missed a penalty vs Ireland.
SGC_Jose? No prizes for guessing who sent that…
BHARGAV BHOSALE: Who is the most down to earth footballer?
Who is the most down to earth footballer?
Scroll down, scroll down, scroll down. Lionel messi. Because he is short.
Oh, Bhargav, you should not make fun of the disabled...
FINLAY WORTHINGTON: How are you going to get along with your new teammates?
I will get along with your new teammates? Easily. They love me. Everybody loves me! I’m a very likeable guy.
I don't want to be vice-captain...
BASHAR KHALED: How would you look with hazard's body and salah's hair and kean's voice?
WHAT THE FECK?! Though I guess it could be worse… #philjones
SHAURYA SINGH: How does it fell to be back where you started from?And what do you think about the transfer of messi to PSG?......please pick this question
I am thrilled to be back at Ronchester United - this magnificent club with a proud heritage.
And I wish Lionel all the best at PSG - the soulless oil club with zero heritage.
- You wouldn’t catch me signing for a club like that… - But you...
ALI MARWAN: To ronaldo: how does it feel that your not the top scorer of Manchester united?
I am the top goalscorer at Ronchester United.
Having reviewed the footage of all my old United games with my lawyer, it turns out 140 of Wayne Rooney’s goals...
...were actually scored by me! And if you don’t believe me, you can speak to my lawyer…
It’s true. We’re claiming them all!
KEPTHRON: To Cristiano : Would u rather have : pogba s hair or messi height.
What?! Why have I got both!?! I said neither!
GUXTAVOTREZE GAMEPLAY: Cristiano, how you feeling about the supporters burn your shirts and call you snake?
Well, in their defence they did think I was signing for Manchester City.
- ...but you wouldn’t catch me signing for our closest rivals... - But you...
TAYUR GOVENDER: To Cristiano: do you think size 12 (uk) shoes at age 16 is normal
No idea. Ask Gylfi Sigurdsson
NOOBYNIHAL: To Cristiano: What are your thoughts on the GOAT Lingard stealing your goal celebration.
- And never do it again! Okay? - Okay!
LUCA PEDULLA: Why is Cristiano's room so clean?
I don’t know, why is my room so clean?
Because he's not Messi
Blocked!
NITESH ARYAL: Prank call Bruno Fernandes and tell him that he can take all the penalties and freekicks.
- Hello? - Bruno, I’ve decided you can take all the penalties and free-kicks...
- Thanks! - For any club except Ronchester United...
- What?! - If you need any help writing your transfer request, let me know
AKASH BISWAS: To Cristiano: can we see a different type of celebration from you after scoring
I’ve been working on a few new goal celebrations. Which one do you like the best?
The Bruno 2.0 Sii!
The Harry Maguire Sii!
The Donny Van de Beek...
The Ryan Giggs 2.0
Sii! Not to be confused with the Cuba Gooding 2.0...
The Wayne Rooney 2.0 Sii!
The Edinson Cavani 2.0... Sii... Cristiano stole my number!
The Cossak Sii!
The windmill Siii!
The Cossak windmill! SIII!
Which one do you like best? Let me know in the comments...