- ENFJ or INFJ, how to tell the difference?
These two types are very similar.
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Let's do it.
So the INFJ's dominant function is introverted intuition,
and the ENFJ's dominant function is extroverted feeling.
This difference between the two of them
is what we're looking for
when we're looking for the differences,
because that makes them focus on certain things in life,
and it also makes them react badly more
to other things in life.
So first, the way to tell the difference
is to see what each type is primarily focused on.
So if we think of life as being like a movie,
the ENFJ and INFJ are focusing
on different things in the movie.
The ENFJ is looking at the characters,
and why are the characters doing the things that they do,
what's their motivation, what is driving them,
how do they feel about the decisions they've made?
Whereas the INFJ, as they're watching this movie,
is looking at what are the themes
going on underneath the action,
and what is the general structure of this story?
The INFJ's gonna be trying to guess ahead
to be like, "What's gonna happen?"
Because they've seen movies before, so they're like,
"Okay, I can generally guess what's gonna happen next."
Both types are gonna be doing both things,
but primarily one or the other.
And once you start to pay attention...
Wow, it's really thundering outside.
Once you start to pay attention...
(thundering)
Once you really start to pay attention to people,
you'll see that there are some people
who are just focused on the people,
and some people who are not so much focused on the people,
they're focused around everything else around the people.
Just start looking for it, you'll see it.
Of course, life isn't a movie, so in real life
you'll see this manifest itself with the ENFJs
by actually bugging everyone around them.
They'll be asking questions all the time.
When they're watching a movie,
they're just trying to dissect
what the characters are doing,
but in real life, they can be asking everyone around them,
"Why are you doing this?
What is motivating you?
What are you feeling right now?"
The ENFJs are really obsessed with
what is everyone else feeling,
and how are they gonna feel when certain things happen.
Now, INFJs do that too,
'cause they have extroverted feeling second,
but remember, the primary thing for the INFJs
is the introverted intuition,
which is kind of like in real life...
The INFJs are trying to create a system,
or maybe a few systems in their life,
so they can bypass concrete reality.
They're trying to guess ahead all the time,
to get ahead, to skip over the menial details.
It's sort of like, going back to the movie thing,
it's sort of like they're trying to fast forward the movie
and be like, "I bet I know what happens next."
Now, of course, that is harder to see in real life.
With the ENFJs, it's kind of obvious,
they're going around bugging everyone, right?
They're asking a lot of questions.
But introverted intuition being a perceiving function,
it's not really that active,
it's just taking in information.
It's not even really taking in information,
it's taking the information that the INFJ already has,
and working it into some kind of system,
some kind of meaning.
Like I said, it's not as obvious for INFJs,
but keep your eye out and just see,
is this person bugging everyone around them all the time,
or do they kinda take a step back a lot of the time?
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All right, so next, the INFJs and ENFJs
will also struggle mightily in different areas,
and this is a way to tell them apart.
ENFJs have a much easier time, they'll stay a lot more calm,
when they have to make quick adaptations.
INFJs, they don't like that at all.
All right, so let's use an example
where there's an INFJ and an ENFJ at work,
and they both have to download some new software
and use it in order to do a project.
The INFJ is gonna freak out.
They're gonna be like, "Oh my gosh,
this is the worst thing ever, my life is ending."
The ENFJ might not like it, they might complain,
they might be like, "I don't get this software, it sucks,"
whatever, but they'll just kind of roll with it,
they'll be able to adapt much faster.
And both types will ultimately
be able to learn the new software
and use it and get on with their lives,
but for the INFJ, it's gonna be
a much more difficult thing to deal with,
and the ENFJ will be much more quick to adapt.
INFJs have inferior extroverted sensing,
and the inferior function
is the opposite of the dominant one.
That means they're way out of whack, all right?
So that means that INFJs are extremely uncomfortable
when they get thrown curveballs in the concrete world,
like a new software program.
If we go back to that movie example,
it would be like, if the INFJ's watching this movie,
and is like, "Oh, I have things figured out,"
they're trying to fast forward,
they're guessing ahead about what's gonna happen,
but then there's a sudden twist
and it's completely different, and they're like,
"Oh my gosh, I didn't see that coming, crap."
And a lot of it happens because they're trying so hard
to look at ahead and be like,
"Oh, I've got this figured out, I know what it all means,"
that they're missing these little details
that are popping up,
they're missing just what's right in front of them,
what's actually happening in the movie.
And so then they can't make those adjustments on the fly,
and they get taken off guard.
They're paying less attention to the movie itself,
and what is actually unfolding, and paying more attention
to what they think is going to happen.
Now, notice that that example before, with the software,
has to do with a thing, some thing,
where the INFJ is forced to deal
with an adaptation on the fly,
with taking in some new information and using it.
So then we move on to a different example,
let's say we have a husband arguing with his wife,
they have a disagreement about
where they're gonna go on vacation.
The wife, she wants to go to the mountains
because her family is there,
and she wants to hang out with her family.
But the husband, he wants to go to the beach
because he just wants to relax,
he doesn't really want to be around her family.
Now, both the INFJ and ENFJ might feel discomfort in this,
and eventually might both work through it
and come to some kind of happy arrangement ultimately.
But the INFJ is gonna be like,
"Okay, I see your perspective, here's my perspective,
let's work through this, let's figure it out."
The ENFJ is gonna feel much more distressed about this,
because it has to do with differing opinions,
a decision that needs to be made,
and the ENFJ is much more likely to just kind of...
They're not gonna be able
to put their opinion forward in a way that's calm.
They're gonna feel very...
It's gonna come out really awkwardly
when they're trying to defend,
when the husband is defending,
he wants to go to the beach, man,
if he's the ENFJ, it's gonna get awkward,
it's not gonna be a very comfortable thing.
Now, notice that this negotiation
about where to go on vacation,
it's all about making a decision, making a judgment,
deciding what's the best thing to do,
and it centers around people and their opinions.
And that's where the ENFJs struggle
because their inferior function is introverted thinking,
because their dominant function is extroverted feeling,
so the thinking and feeling, the judging functions,
the decision making functions, are out of whack.
So when it comes to a disagreement like this,
where the ENFJ has to put forward their opinion,
they don't like it, it's like in a...
And going back to the movie example,
it would be like if suddenly the characters in the movie
turned on them and are like,
"Hey, what do you think, buddy?"
And the ENFJ is like, "Ah, can I call a friend?
I don't know."
Because the ENFJ feels like their introverted thinking,
their logical decision making that's very personal to them,
it's basically their opinion, what works for them,
that shouldn't be something
they should be having to express.
Everyone else should be doing what the ENFJ is doing
and looking out for his opinion.
The ENFJ is always wondering
what is everyone else feeling about this.
They expect everyone to do that for them, to be like,
"Hey, look out for what I think is good, what I think is...
My introverted thinking, watch out for that."
And so they freak out when people don't do that.
Which is a lot of the time.
It's harder for them to stand up
for their introverted thinking decisions.
If you have any other observations about what you've seen
or the differences between INFJ and ENFJ,
please leave them in the comments below.
Thanks for watching, until next time,
stay cool and attractive.