﻿We all get consumed by passion. Do you fall head over heels when in love? Do you always end up with
the wrong person because you were blinded by passion? How can you change that in your love
life? In today's video, we will talk about seven tips to help you slow down as you date.
Now, you must understand that there are three stages of love. The first one is
what we like to call coma, the next is anxiety and finally, stability.
During the coma, basically we are all carried away by passion.
During periods of anxiety, the hormones will gradually subside. The sense of novelty and
intimacy between lovers will weaken, conflicts will increase, and quarrels will increase.
So in the third stage, the conflicts between lovers are resolved.
Emotions have also found a balance and they have learned to understand and
communicate to each other. Of the three stages of love,
anxiety is the most important. Why? Because only periods of anxiety test
your feelings. Once the anxiety period does not go well, you will face the end of a breakup.
What is the test? Test whether you are suitable for each other.
Passion and freshness don't last long. Therefore, mastering the three stages
of love and learning to deal with the dual tests of passion and contradiction
will lead to long-lasting love. So, in the midst of passion and anxiety,
how do you slow things down? First, know the role you are about to fill
in his life. You have to do your best to find out exactly what he wants. Then of course, you compare
that with what you also want. Is it a one-time fling? Are you two going to be having a lot of
casual sex? Does he want a life partner? Which of these is in line with what you want?
Many times, people conceal their true intentions, so they might make claims that are in fact the
opposite of what they truly desire, especially when it satisfies their immediate needs.
He might claim he is in it for the long-term when in fact, he is not.
As you might already know, this is not rare at all, it is very common,
that's why you need to control your passion, especially in the early stages of dating.
The second tip: Set boundaries. Let him know what your standards are and be resolute with
it. If you're not comfortable having sex on your first date, then don't! Dictate the pace
of intimacy in the relationship. Don't cave in to requests you are not comfortable with.
Setting boundaries would also increase the level of respect you get from the other person
since it shows that you have standards that would not be compromised.
Setting boundaries can only be effective if you know exactly what you want from a person you want
to be in a relationship with. This brings us to our third tip: create a list of qualities you
want in a partner. In terms of character, what are the traits you are looking out for?
Although character is by far the most important box to check,
you can also add whatever preferences that attract you to a person. No doubt physical
attraction is a big player here as well as the little things that make us fall in love. What is
that little thing that makes you fall in love? Let us know in the comment section below.
Making a list of what you want in a relationship indicates that you have
a strong sense of self. So, the fourth tip is to make a profile that truly reflects who you
are. This would include your personality, hobbies, your interests and even quirks.
On Tip Five, look out for connection and compatibility between the both of you.
It is possible that in the moments of the sparks and fireworks of love, you forget to
find out if you two would be able to condone the shortcomings of one another. Unless you don't want
a long-term commitment, if you do, you should make sure you two complement each other.
Tip Six: Look out for red flags. We all have certain traits we cannot put up with. Once again,
I'd advise we start with character. What are the negative traits this person has? Can you put up
with it? If not, call it quits immediately. Some red flags are more obvious than others,
it also depends on your level of experience. Keep your eyes peeled like a hawk.
Finally, Tip Number Seven is to Ask Questions. Ask about his previous relationships, his interests
and passions, find out about his ambitions and how you fit into all these plans.
That's how you know who's worth your time. That's how you fall in love.
Which of the tips did you find most helpful? Drop your comments in the comments section below.
And check out this playlist “how to date” on screen now!