-Welcome back to "Late Night."
We're here with John Mulaney.
To be honest, I feel like
wearing this over a sweater
makes me look a little jacked.
[ Laughter ] -Yeah, it looks like
you bulked up, yeah?
-I think that's the upside
and the downside is I'm super hot.
[ Laughter ]
-Mic'd twice and hot as hell.
[ Laughter ]
-You are touring right now.
-Yes. -and you take Malcolm on tour with you.
-Yeah. Malcolm is a great, great roadie.
[ Laughter ]
Malcolm loves being on tour. We've gone --
He loved Saratoga Springs.
He loved the Westin in Buffalo. -Ooh!
[ Laughter ] -They had one of those fake fireplaces
that's like glowing rocks -Uh-huh.
-and he sat down, he goes, "This is what I'm talking about."
[ Laughter ] He was so mesmerized.
-This is a photo of you guys going on tour
-Yes. -and this is a guy who
[ Awws ] this is not his first tour.
-No. This actually looks like a body-switching movie where,
[ Laughter ] me in 2020
went into the body of a baby.
[ Laughter ] -Yeah, he looks like he's had one too many Enfamils.
[ Laughter ] -Yeah.
-Got overserved. -Like this is tricking a star
to go to rehab. Like, "Oh, no.
[ Laughter ]
We're just going to Utah." -Yeah. And then he's like,
"What are you guys talking about?" Because he's wearing
noise-canceling headphones. That's smart.
-I try to keep things very calm for him,
so I cancel out all sensory experience.
[ Laughter ]
-You have numerous -- These are your dates,
which is insane. I feel like -That's funny.
That's too many. -That's a lot of shows.
-Yeah. -I notice
you're going to Australia. -Yes.
-You've been. You've performed in Australia before.
-I've performed in Melbourne before,
but now I'm going to Brisbane, Adelaide, Sydney, and Melbourne.
I've never been to those cities.
-That's very exciting. -It's very exciting.
-I know like you've gone to foreign countries before.
Do you tailor your material at all when you go on the road
to foreign places? -You know, I
completely change every word of my act,
no matter what country I'm in,
and I pretend I'm from the country.
[ Laughter ]
-So nice of you. -I did that once in Ireland.
I was like, "How about when you go to Tesco,"
which is the supermarket, and they were like,
"You're not from here.
[ Laughter ] Like we paid to see someone not from here."
[ Laughter ]
I'm always a little nervous in Australia
because they have a lot of possums
and you know me, I hate possums, right?
[ Laughter ] -Historically, yeah,
famously. -I've never cared for them.
They look like insulation with like a whip attached...
[ Laughter ]
...and they're no good and [ Quickly ] we all know that.
[ Laughter ] And I read like there's a lot
of possums in Australia and then someone told me,
"Don't worry, they're not the same possums.
They're just a cousin to the American possum."
I was like, "I've never hated anyone
and then loved their cousin."
[ Laughter ]
-It does seem like you got to read pretty far
down the list of Australian animals before you hit possum.
-Someone -- look, you know, someone said --
Yeah, it's not the most famous Australian animal,
[ Laughter ] by far.
-By far. -They have marquee
-Crazy animals. -animals associated,
crazy animals. -They have some of the top --
I mean, top 5 crazy animals, maybe.
-They got animals in hoodies, jumping around,
[ Laughter ] but I focused on the possum. -Yeah.
-Yeah. -So, we work --
we're very happy and lucky to work --
on a show called "Documentary Now,"
that has another season coming.
-Yes, absolutely. -and you wrote an episode based
on a Werner Herzog documentary.
-Yes. -And Werner Herzog is going
to be on the show tomorrow. -Okay.
[ Laughter ] -I'm very excited about it.
-Are you going to talk to him about it?
-I'm going to try to talk to him about it, yeah.
-Are you going to wear a $10 shirt from H&M
or are you going to dress nice?
[ Laughter ]
Or you could dress like him tomorrow.
You could wear a safari jacket. -Yeah.
-Yeah. -Because he's a man of the wild.
-Yeah. So, the episode that I wrote for "Documentary Now,"
he has a famous film, narrative film,
he made called "Fitzcarraldo."
In the story of the film,
his actual film crew moved a steamship
over the mountains of part of the Amazon River,
which was very hard and crazy to do.
There's a documentary about making that movie,
called "Burden of Dreams."
Our episode stars Alexander Skarsgard
as a Werner Herzog type who is trying to make
a CBS network multicam in the middle of Siberia.
[ Laughter ] So, he has he has to fly in a studio audience
from Van Nuys, California... -Yeah.
[ Laughter ] -...and a warm-up comic
and build all the sets out in the tundra
[ Laughter ] -Yeah. -and make the episode.
-I think this is going to go well when I explain it
to a German documentary filmmaker.
[ Laughter ] -Yeah. I'm sure you won't get
dry mouthed or nervous, explaining it to one
of the most intimidating people ever.
[ Laughter ] -First of all, I love you very much for being here.
-Thank you. -I think I might've lost like
two to three pounds during this interview,
[ Laughter ] just on -- -You really --
You really, by the way, like the way your head is,
in relation to how bulky your chest is,
[ Laughter ] it's like a real fun optical illusion.
[ Laughter ] -Yeah.
It's like -- It's like Al Pacino in "Dick Tracy,"
like I got -- -Yeah, yeah, yeah. It has a real
[ Laughter ] like, yeah, yeah.
It has a real --
It's never what you want to hear.
[ Laughter ]
But listen, if you want to dress the way you want to dress,
you know, I don't want you to just change
to be like me, you know?
[ Laughter ] Be you, you know. Wear,
you know. Why don't you wear a robe or --
[ Laughter ]
...or a big -- you could wear a big ASOS hoodie
and you could keep a drink in the pocket.
-Thank you. [ Laughter ]
-Do whatever you want, you know? -Yeah.
-You don't seem to care. -No, no, no.
[ Laughter ]
See, this is the part where I wish there were like
three more celebrities to tell me the same thing
and I feel like it would really like get through to me.
-Oh, yeah. No, no. Well, you know, you're not me.
You don't get that kind of intervention.
[ Laughter ]
-John Mulaney, everybody!
[ Cheering and applause ] For tour dates and tickets,
go to johnmulaney.com.