A lot of President Trump's most hardcore supporters
are apparently convinced
that the only reason Joe Biden survived at all
is that someone was feeding him answers through a secret wire.
In fact, before the debate,
the Trump campaign even wanted to inspect Biden
for an earpiece.
And, honestly,
the idea of digging through an ear that old
is kind of exciting, you know,
just from an archaeological standpoint.
"Yes, we didn't find an earpiece,
"but we did discover this vase
from the Shang dynasty."
Now, as usual,
everyone ignored Trump's crazy conspiracy theories.
But, in fact, The Daily Show can exclusively report
that Joe Biden was in fact wearing an earpiece.
I know it's shocking, people.
But not only that--
it turns out Donald Trump was also wearing an earpiece.
And we have the behind-the-scenes footage
of what they were hearing during the debate.
Welcome the Republican nominee, President Trump,
and the Democratic nominee, Vice President Biden.
All right, Mr. Biden, I'll be here to guide you.
Now, just remember, presidents are leaders,
so let's be calm and dignified.
All right, Mr. President,
you and me are gonna (bleep) this guy up.
Let's spread the cheeks and show these people an asshole.
How you doing, man?
All right. Let's start off strong.
Hit 'em with your biggest accomplishment.
I'm the one that brought back football.
-By the way, I brought back Big Ten football. -(Biden chuckles)
-It was me and... -What?
No, your biggest accomplishment.
Like, uh...
Oh, shit.
-But those-- but those states... -I-I want to move-- Gentlemen.
-Those states are not doing well. -I want to move on...
Okay, Trump hates being mocked,
-so let's just laugh at him. -(chuckles)
-Okay, crank it up a little more. -(laughs)
-He does plenty. -Bigger. Big laugh.
Like you're watching whatever people your age watch.
-Uh, Three Stooges reruns. -(laughs)
TRUMP: Well, it's true. Nobody shows up to his rallies.
-WALLACE: Okay. All right. -...in the military.
-So don't tell me about this. -I'm happy to talk about this.
-And if you were here... -That's right.
Keep talking. Keep talking.
Remember, if you don't talk for more than ten seconds,
you die.
Because the question is-- the question is...
Ugh, will this guy shut up?
-Will you shut up, man? -No. No, no, no,
I didn't mean for you to say that.
No. Nobody's gonna vote for a president without manners.
All right, we're about halfway through.
Let's take a quick nap.
♪ Rockaby, Joey ♪
♪ On the treetop. ♪
All right, that's enough. Back up, back up.
Are you willing tonight to condemn white supremacists
-and militia groups and to say -Sure.
that they need to stand down and not...
(sputters) Hell no.
White supremacists are half your base.
You can't denounce them.
In fact, do the opposite.
Proud Boys, stand back and stand by.
-But I'll tell you... -Yes. Perfect.
That's what I'm talking about. Let's go, white race.
President Trump, you're holding large rallies.
We have had no problem whatsoever.
-It's outside. -Ooh, ooh. Bring up Herman Cain.
Bring up Herman Cain. This is a slam dunk.
He's been totally irresponsible,
the way in which he has handled the-the social distancing
and people wearing masks,
basically encouraging them not to.
-All right. -He's a fool on this.
Gah! Come on!
What, am I on mute or something?
Oh. Sorry. I was on mute.
Can you hear me now?
Why wouldn't you answer that question?
Holy shit. We're an hour in,
and you haven't mentioned Hillary once.
-What are you waiting for? -You saw what happened today
with Hillary Clinton, where it was a whole big con job.
That's right. That'll teach her to run for president
four years ago.
-I got rid of the individual mandate. -And when I finish,
-I'm gonna give you an opportunity... -Excuse me.
I got rid of the individual mandate,
-which was a big chunk of... -That is not a comprehensive
-plan. -I don't understand.
Why is Chris Wallace being so helpless?
Mr. President, you're doing great.
The moderator is totally helpless.
(sighs)
Ooh! Got stuck in traffic.
Sorry I'm late. Mr. Wallace, how are we doing?
...was the most unpopular aspect -Mr. Vice Pre...
-of Obamacare. I got rid of it. -Mr. President,
-I'd like you to... -Oh, shit.
-I'm the moderator of this debate. -I'm out. I'm out.
And I would like you to let me ask my question,
-and then you can answer. -Go ahead.