Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you’re watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business
and a life that you love.
And I love that you’re here with me today.
You know why?
Because it’s Q&A Tuesday, one of my favorite days of the week, really.
It’s all about Q’s and A’s and today’s question comes from Giuliana.
Pretty name.
And she writes:
“Hi Marie, how do I know when the obstacles are just part of the game or it's just too
hard?
You have to be pushed sometimes, right?
But how do I know when it’s the right time to push and recommit or if it’s just time
to give up and quit?
Thank you so much, Giuliana.”
Giuliana, this is a big, juicy question and the truth is, there are so many factors that
make every situation unique.
Sometimes the smart thing to do is to quit.
We’ll talk about that in a minute.
But other times you gotta dig deeper and recommit.
While I don't have all the answers, I do have some tips that will help you find yours.
First thing is that quitters do win.
You know that old saying that quitters never win and winners never quit?
Total BS.
It’s just not true.
To stay with something just because you’re afraid of feeling like or looking like a loser
is not a smart strategy.
So I want to give you a reframe.
It’s called the power of positive quitting.
This is what happens when you realize that you’ve gone as far as you can go with a
particular project and it’s actually not smart to keep going.
You should cut your losses and redirect your time and your resources into a new direction.
So let me give you an example from my own life.
A few years ago I spent a lot of time and money and energy building this beautiful custom
online membership forum.
So it was going great, it was awesome.
We had opened up the membership, a lot of people paid us, and they came in, and guess
what happened?
The whole thing friggin’ crashed and burned.
It was a nightmare.
Now, what I did is took a look and said, “Ok, all this money and time and energy I spent?
I’m pulling the plug.
We’re getting out of here.”
So of course I took care of my customers, we changed platforms, everything was fine,
but the point is I took a look at it and I said, “This is the right thing to quit because
I’m not gonna win going any further.”
So I 86-ed that whole thing, which brings me to my next point.
Number two, you gotta fork over the freedom fee.
So here’s what I mean by this.
Sometimes we’ve got a lot of money or time or ego invested in the project and we feel
like there’s a ton of sunk costs and we don't wanna let it go.
I get it.
But you’ve gotta reframe that.
Just like when you’re trying to switch cell phone companies and they make you pay that
big fee to get out.
That’s what it’s like sometimes with a project.
If you start to think about just letting this thing go and you get all kinds of mental and
emotional bandwidth, it’s gonna make it a lot easier to eat those costs.
Number three, hard happens.
Look, things in life get hard.
I mean, we can all agree on that.
Right?
But seriously, do not get caught up in the myth of flow.
Yes, sometimes things do flow but not always.
Very often, you know what?
Things do get hard.
So don't believe anybody when they tell you, “Oh, if it’s really right for you it’s
so easy and it flows and it just… it’s a natural unfolding of your you-ness.”
Natural unfolding my ba donk a donk.
You know what unfolds naturally?
A bath towel.
Kind of.
So I’ve had lots of projects that are totally worthwhile and you know what?
Hard things actually pop up.
So when that happens for me, I realize I gotta dig in deeper and push through.
Sometimes it means I take a little break or sometimes it means I change my approach.
But the point here is, obstacles don't mean you should quit.
Sometimes you’ve really got to push through.
Now, I know in this whole question we still haven’t helped you decide whether or not
you should quit or commit, so here are two strategies that’ll help you find clarity.
First up, the 10 year test.
Now, we’ve talked about this before on MarieTV but we’re repeating it because it works.
I want you to ask yourself, 10 years in the future will you regret quitting this project
right now?
So going back to my example, when that website crashed and burned I asked myself, “Am I
gonna regret 10 years from now just giving this whole thing up?”
Not at all.
It was one project, it taught me a lot, but that was it.
I wasn’t gonna cry over it.
So that’s the same thing I want you to do.
I want you to recognize whether or not this project or whatever you’re working on, is
it a true soul goal or is it just something on your journey that’s taking you to something
bigger?
So Giuliana, get connected.
Really ask yourself, how will you feel in 10 years?
Tap into your heart and really pay attention to how you feel.
This isn’t just a useful test, it’s actually a tweetable.
“Your feelings will guide you if you have the courage to tap into them and listen.”
Second you want to ask for guidance.
So whether you meditate or you pray or you have another spiritual practice, the point
is you’ve gotta plug into a higher power.
Ask for some help.
I do this all the time and it is amazing.
You’ve gotta be open though to receiving the signs.
So maybe that looks like an email or maybe a call from a friend or maybe you’ll get
an intuitive flash, but the point is if you don't ask you will not receive.
So, Giuliana, these are all the things that work for me.
I know it’s a big, hairy topic, there’s a lot of things to consider, but if you want
another resource you might want to consider checking out Seth Godin’s book The Dip.
It’s all about how to figure out when to quit and when to commit.
So that was my A to your Q, I really hope it helps.
So now I would love to hear from you.
Have you ever struggled with when to commit and when to quit?
And if so, what helped you decide?
I would love to hear about it in the comments below.
Now, as always, the best discussions happen after the episode over at marieforleo.com,
so come on over and leave a comment now.
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Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.