I'm going to give them to you in this video,
so, stay tuned.
Hi, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am a narcissist negotiation expert and a lawyer, and
in this video, on this channel,
I give you tips, and tricks and resources
on how to powerfully negotiate with narcissists.
I think I am the only lawyer on the planet that
is actually teaching you real tips, tricks and resources
on how to actually shift the dynamic with narcissists.
So, if that is something that you want to do and
become more persuasive in any room, and
hey, let's face it,
If you can become more powerful with
the most toxic personality on the planet,
you can become mor e powerful with anyone.
Then, feel free to go ahead and
subscribe to this channel and hit the notification bell.
All right, so let's talk about you’re in the room,
you're actually negotiating, you've done your research,
you've done what you were supposed to do and
by the way, if you don't know where to start,
trying to figure out where to even start,
you are certainly welcome to grab my free
“Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet
at winmynegotiation.com.
That’s a really great place to start.
A lot of people have actually just
won their entire negotiations, just on that.
But now you're like, okay, I'm in the room and
how could you tell if they're actually bluffing
or maybe it's not even in the room,
you're just in the process of negotiating with them,
you're having discussions,
they talked a game but you're not sure,
Are they serious? And you want to know
if they're serious but you can't really tell.
I mean, one of the things that you need to know,
is that most of the time, they probably are bluffing and
the reason why, is that they don't really want to settle
even if they say they do and even if they say
they want to save money on attorney’s fees,
even if they say they want to come to a resolution and
even if they accuse you of being the one
who's dragging out the process because
most of the times they're always accusing you
of the things that they're actually doing,
you know how that goes.
But they say all of these things,
they actually enjoy making you squirm,
they enjoy the process of intimidating you and
controlling you and controlling the process and
seeing everybody like be their minions.
So, they're not actually trying to get to a resolution
of the case, or the negotiation, or whatever the issue is.
A lot of the times,
I think it may even be subconscious,
I'm not a 100% sure.
I mean, sometimes, I think it is conscious,
sometimes I think it's subconscious.
Anyway, they do enjoy yanking you around and
seeing you squirm.
So, let's talk about the four ways you can tell they're actually bluffing.
So, number four, we're going to walk,
we're going to work backwards to the best one, okay?
Bragging about how great their offer is,
this is the best offer ever,
you'll never get an offer better than this,
this is the deal for you,
you really need to take this.
They love to brag.
This is especially the grandiose narcissists by the way,
the coverts don't tend to do this as much,
but the grandiose ones, for sure love to do this and
especially to other people I've given,
I've offered them this great deal,
I can't believe they haven't taken it,
I've given them everything in this deal, the world,
I'm taking nothing for myself.
Those talking, these absolutes,
you're getting everything, I'm getting nothing.
“Everyone else thinks you should take this deal”,
“No one else thinks that this is a horrible deal”.
They love to talk in those absolutes.
If you want to know more about how narcissists talk and
the types of phrases that they use
you can definetely check out my video
on “Narcissists’ favorite phrases” for sure.
But anyway, that's definitely one of the little cues
that you might see, that might give away
that they're probably bluffing,
That's number four.
So, they'll throw around sort of vague phrases,
illusory offers, “You'll get lots of this”
“We’ll make sure you're taken care of”
“We'll be sure it's something that you'll be happy with”
Not details,
“For sure, at the end of the day, it will be a good deal for you”,
something like that,
but it'll be something that's kind of hard to pin down,
I mean, and it might even be something like
yeah, it'll happen by the end of the year
or it'll definitely happen within a few months and
then a few months goes by and you say,
how come it hasn't happened within a few months and
then they say “No, I said that
within a few months, we would use something else”
they had to change what they said,
they're really famous for that sort of thing.
It's always vague and sort of shifting,
it's kind of hard to pin down.
So, that's that's number three vague phrases.
So they'll say,
“Oh, I agree that you can have X, Y and Z”
but they'll do it at a time when
you're standing in a parking lot or
they'll do it at a time when you're driving away in your car
or that you were getting on an airplane or something like that
where nobody can actually memorialize it, and
then by the time you get to a place where
you can actually maybe write it down or something like that,
they'll say “No, no, no, that's not what I said”,
“No, you misheard me.
You were taking that out of context” or something like that.
So they'll say it at the time just to sway you,
just to get you to go away,
just to get you to not be right in their face
about something and you think,
“Oh good, we finally have a deal.
We've gotten them to agree to something”
but now by the time you get them to a place
where they can actually memorialize it,
they actually get the details in writing,
then, that deal have gone away and if you think, by the way,
they're super scammers and you agree with me on this so far,
So, these are all definitely signs that they are bluffing and
number one, number one is my favorite.
I see this all the time and
I see a lot of attorneys make this mistake as well,
Well, what I see attorneys fall prey to is
So, what attorneys will end up doing is
they'll send a settlement proposal over thinking that
the other side will agree to something and
then the other side maybe agrees to some of it and
the other side comes back and it ends up
being super costly, very time-consuming, and
then even if the other side agrees to parts of it,
the other side comes back, agrees to parts of it and then
what ends up happening is that the narcissist
will only hold the other side to account
for the parts that they like,
but they won't hold themselves to account
for the parts that they don't like and
you never end up with a deal at all.
It ends up being a very protracted, very expensive conversation
that goes absolutely nowhere and
delights no one except for the narcissist;
because everybody gets jerked around in the process and
the narcissist just sits back into life and the whole thing
because they got to screw everybody around.
So, basically what you're doing when
you hand over a settlement proposal is you're going
"Here. Here's the way to jerk me around”.
“Here you go, here you go”.
So, you don't want to do that when
you are dealing with a narcissist.
Certainly not.
There are other ways that you can get them to settle
that is not the way, if you follow me at all,
you know that you need to create strategy,
you need to have leverage first,
you got to start squeezing them,
motivating them, surrounding them first, and
then you can eventually get them to settle.
You gotta play a little bit of a long game.
You’ve got to be a lot more strategic than that.
You've got to learn to ethically
manipulate the manipulator before you can do that.
There's definitely ways you can do it.
Don't think that you can't.
You can definitely negotiate with narcissists,
there are ways but,
just not the ways that you think that you can, okay?
So I talked about my “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet,
you can grab that.
If you like this video, give it a like, give it a share.
There are other people out there
trying to negotiate with narcissists,
make sure that they get this information,
Make sure you subscribe to this channel and
hit that notification bell so you get more information.
You are also certainly invited to join me
in my free private Facebook group,
“Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung”
I’d love to have you in there.
Thanks so much for joining me here on this channel.
Remember, today is always a great day to start negotiating your best life.
Wherever you are is the jumping off point.
I will see you in the next video!