Hey, it's Clayton and in this video
I'm going to answer a customer question that came in that once again. I think the answer [is] going to
Give some clarity to many other women who [are] in a similar situation
With a guy that they've just met or had been dating for [a] while
[this] question is from a gal. We're going to just call her [kim] for anonymity sake
She says dear Clayton. Thank you very much for your message. I'm watching all your movies. [I] really appreciate it
[I] got a question about what to do how [to] convince a man we've known each other for more than three years
To be with me and start a relationship
[the] man is a doctor and extremely intelligent and he is possibly autistic
I can see him once or twice per month [because]
He said I'm getting attached and he has nothing to give me he is without fearing no heart no emotions
He said I am different than other women, but he is like a wild animal and doesn't want to hurt me I
Respect [him] so much and he knows that but I still wish to see him more often. What do I do?
Well first of all
Kim I think I really feel for [you]. It sounds like you have your heart open to this man and you
Obviously have a connection with him that you value otherwise you wouldn't be asking this question
and you wouldn't want to get into a relationship and
a common theme this is a bit of an extreme example because this guy's being so clear but
This also applies to two men that
Say anything that capture the essence of this [I] have nothing to give
and
I'm like a wild [animal] and I [don't] want to hurt you
there's a
Lot of women that I come across who are dating a guy who have been in a kind of pSeudo
Relationship with a guy without any real hard boundaries or agreements where they're holding onto it because they are putting the connection
Above the
integrity of their heart, they're putting the connection they have with the guy in this place of
Where they are falling in love with the potential of what it could turn into rather than really
staying in the reality of what it is and
this is a
great way to waste a lot of time and
To in the end become bitter about love is by picking guys that are emotionally unavailable
And hoping that in some way you might be able to change them because they've communicated to you that you are unique or different
Yet their actions are not
moving things for they're not initiating, and they're not actually moved stepping in to
protect what it is that the two of you are creating with an agreement with a relationship and the
advice that I've got here just from knowing Men and
Having been in similar situations with my own emotions
with women is that when a guy says that he's [not] ready for a relationship and
you are feeling like you are [very] invested in the interaction you're invested in the connection and
The guy saying to that. He is not good at relationship. He feels like a wild animal. He doesn't want to hurt you
believe him
There's no amount of convincing at this point that is going to move this guy
From feeling the way that he's feeling [into] suddenly believing in himself that he can be good at relationship. There's something going on within him
that is causing him to hesitate and
if
you
Stay in that connection with him and you compromise yourself
Because you [are] hoping that he will change for you the dynamic that you're entering into and with him is one where
you've got this hidden agenda or even this overt agenda of
changing his mind of changing his heart and
The longer that you stay in that the more that you compromise yourself and the more that you communicate to him
That you're willing to put up with where he's at and that you're willing to settle for that type of relationship
now
That said it sounds like at this point
It would be best to step back
and I would I would say that that is the best thing to do is to step back from this and
to really collect yourself and determine [that] and to ask yourself if this is all that he can give and
This is all that he will possibly ever give is this enough for me
And if the answer's no you've got to walk away, and it's not for the purpose of punishing him
It's not for [the] purpose of teaching him a lesson
but [rather] it's
For you to take a stand for what [is] most important to you what it is that you desire most from the sky?
and in doing so
the
Impact is that
number one he gets to see the
Impact that he is having that his way of [being] is having on someone that perhaps
he does have a real connection with that his way of [being] may very well push them out of his life and
[two] it just communicates that you're a woman of value that you [are] not willing to settle and also
walking away
Doesn't mean giving this guy an ultimatum. It doesn't mean saying to him. Hey
I'm going to leave if you're not willing to step up because then that is
You trying to manipulate him or trying to get him to move rather than actually taking a stand for yourself?
taking a stand for yourself in this is
Simply just saying okay
I'm going to have to back off because I realized that
I'm not going to be able to respect myself if I stay in this situation
I'm not going to I'm not respecting my heart if I stay in the situation and which were not on the same page and then
actually backing away, and
at that moment who knows what will [happen] on his side, but
ultimately if there's anything that is going to get this guy that is going to challenge this guy to step up and
That is also going to reveal how important the connection is to him
it's going to be this move of
being able to walk away and allow him to deal and handle the impact and the consequences of
The Lack of Commitment or the Lack of Initiative that he is willing to show [within] your specific dynamic
My name is Clayton Olsen and if you enjoyed this video go ahead and subscribe to the channel
Please like it and also. I've got a
Pdf a little book that I'm going to give away to you
It's called the 5 secrets to unlock his heart and it is below this video it talks about challenge
It talks about a couple different things that guys need to feel in order to begin to open up
And it should provide a little bit more insight if you are currently
struggling with men right [now] in the dating life
And you are wanting [to] move from single to being in a relationship
And even if you're in a relationship this guy would be helpful as well
So go ahead and click below that's in the description, and I will see you in the next video