Hey everyone, and welcome to TopThink. Today, we are going to learn about 10 habits to build
unbreakable self-confidence. Now, let’s begin
Are you a confident person? Do you have high self-esteem and a strong sense of
self? Self-confidence is a quality that everyone wants, but very few people have or
understand. Most people associate confidence with external qualities, like attraction,
financial success, and professional advancement. We look up to attractive,
successful, and powerful people. We admire their confidence and their charisma. And we think to
ourselves, “how do I become more like them?” You may imagine a version of yourself who follows
in their footsteps. You may dream of a future in which you are attractive, successful, and
secure in who you are. This person has achieved your dreams and lives your ideal lifestyle.
When you imagine this version of yourself, you think, “Now that’s a confident person!”
Here’s the problem. No matter how many external changes you make in your life,
you’ll soon discover that real confidence comes from somewhere else entirely. Real confidence has
little to do with your personal achievements or financial success. Sure, many confident do find
some form of success in their lives, but that does not mean success and professional achievement will
bring you self-confidence or self-esteem. There are many successful people out there,
living lavish lifestyles, who struggle everyday with confidence and self-esteem.
On the other hand, there are many people who live paycheck to paycheck… yet they
have unbreakable confidence and high self-esteem.
So, what’s their secret? Even if you are unattractive and unsuccessful,
you can develop unbreakable self-confidence, because self-confidence relies almost entirely on
your relationship with yourself. In other words, confidence doesn’t mean transforming yourself
into someone you like more than your current self. It means learning to like, understand,
and appreciate yourself exactly as you are. The most confident people feel good about
themselves because they know themselves on a deeper level. They invest time and
effort into understanding who they are, what they want, and how they want to live their
lives. And that knowledge gives them direction, purpose, and most of all a strong sense of self.
So, how do you deepen your relationship with yourself? How do you know whether
you have a strong understanding of who you are? To help you better appreciate the most
important person in your life, here are 10 habits to build unbreakable self-confidence.
1. Interview Yourself The first step to building
unbreakable self-confidence is to gauge how well you know and understand yourself.
The easiest way to begin this process… is to ask yourself some personal questions.
Act like you’re conducting an interview between you and yourself. Write down
a list of big-picture questions about who you are and what you want out of your life.
Ask yourself about your short and long term goals. Challenge yourself to define
your vision of the future and reflect deeply on your current relationships.
Make sure you cover all the bases, and don’t allow yourself to skip any questions without
giving an honest answer. Each answer gives you a better understanding of who you are right now. You
may not have all the answers. Your ambitions may be fuzzy, and your reflections may change
over time. But simply getting to know yourself will raise your confidence higher than ever.
2. Internal Validation Is there something you’re always wanted
to hear from someone else? Many people spend their lives trying to prove their worth to other
people. You work long hours and toil endlessly in pursuit of someone else’s approval. But you
never find the validation you’re looking for. Over time, your confidence plummets because no
one tells you the words you need to hear. So, why wait for someone to validate your choices?
If you want to build self-confidence, you can and should give that validation to yourself.
Whatever you want to hear from other people, say those words to yourself. Announce it to
the world. Write it on your bathroom mirror. Do or say whatever you need to remind yourself that
you are on your side. Ultimately, that’s where real confidence comes from. Once you approve of
who you are, you’ll develop the kind of confidence that no one will ever break.
3. Feel Your Feelings Humans experience a wide range of
emotions, positive and negative. Some are more common in our lives, like joy and frustration,
while others are infrequent and sometimes painful, like love, rage, and humiliation.
If you want to be a more confident person, it’s important to recognize and most importantly
express the full range of your emotions, including the most painful ones. When you’re ecstatic, allow
yourself to express your happiness. If you’re in pain, give yourself permission to feel that pain,
because denying your feelings, good or bad, means suppressing an honest part of who you are.
So, express your emotions as soon as you feel them. Try to recognize, validate,
and explore your feelings. Those strong feelings not only define who you are,
but they also connect you to the world around you.
The better you understand how you feel, the more confident, relatable, and expressive you become.
4. Releasing Judgments Are you a judgmental person?
We think of judgmental people as critics of the world around them, but they’re equally
judgmental toward themselves. These people may struggle to build self-esteem or self-confidence,
because they naturally attack peoples’ flaws and criticize their mistakes. They never learn
how to see the best in people, because they’re too focused on what everyone is doing wrong.
If you want to build self-confidence, stop judging other people. Worry less about their weaknesses
and pay more attention to their strengths. Because your understanding of other people almost always
reflects your understanding of yourself. Unless you can accept people as they are… you may never
leave to accept yourself. 5. Gain Social Experience
Confidence is often a social term, used to describe someone who effortlessly makes new
friends and court potential partners. On the outside, they seem confident and charming.
But what looks like confidence is simply the product of months or years of regular practice.
These confident people feel comfortable in social settings because they’ve challenged themselves
to participate in all kinds of social activities. If you want to build the same kind of confidence,
get involved and start practicing. Every social experience will be frightening
at first, but the more comfortable you become… the more confident you’ll feel.
6. Know Your Faults Do you hide your weaknesses from other
people? Many people with low self-confidence try to create a flawless — a person with no quirks,
faults, or weaknesses. You may think you’re protecting yourself from social ridicule or future
hardship, but all you’re really doing is creating distance between you and the rest of the world.
The only way to get out of your shell… is to expose your vulnerabilities. You
need to show people your strengths as well as your weaknesses, because your
weaknesses are nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, it’s your weaknesses that make you a
well-rounded and relatable person, allowing you to understand yourself a little better.
7. Value Your Ideas Many people are afraid of expressing their ideas.
For example, you may not think you can contribute something meaningful to a conversation. Often,
people who lack confidence overvalue other peoples’ ideas and undervalue their own.
But the truth is… most people aren’t as perceptive as you think they are.
If you want to find the confidence to speak up, start by lowering your expectations. You don’t
have to say the most profound thing in the world. Your ideas don’t have to be perfect or incisive.
Instead, try expressing any idea you find personally interesting or valuable. If you
learn to value your own opinions, you’ll discover the confidence to speak up in almost any setting.
8. Giving and Receiving If you struggle with self-confidence,
you may be hesitant to accept support from the people in your life. You’re willing to
help others, but you’re unwilling to ask for the same support when you need it.
You may be afraid of admitting your weakness to others. You want to show people that
you’re strong, independent, and capable. But asking for help is not a sign of weakness.
The most confident people ask for help on a regular basis. They know that no one can
tackle all of life’s problems on their own. And no one should have to. In other words,
asking for someone’s support is not a cry for help or a sign of weakness. It’s one of many
ways that communities of people collaborate with and support each other through pain and hardships.
No matter how strong you think you are, you can’t do everything alone.
So, lean on someone you trust and care about. Let them help you the way you help them. It’s much
easier to face your fears and overcome obstacles when you have other people in your corner.
9. Accepting Your Talents What do you say when someone gives
you a compliment? Too many people dismiss the compliments they receive. For example, imagine
someone tells you that you have a great singing voice. Instead of taking the compliment, you might
say something like, “Oh no, I’m not very good.” This bad habit damages your confidence more
than you realize. Each time you reject an honest compliment, you’re unconsciously
putting yourself. You may think you’re being humble, but you’re rejecting your talents and
undermining your hard work. If you receive a genuine compliment, say thank you and be
proud of your abilities. Because you deserve the compliments you get, even if you don’t think so.
10. Moving Forward
Knowing yourself means learning more about who you are, but it also means understanding
where you have room to grow. In your life, every obstacle you face stands to teach you something
new about who you know and what you don’t. If you want to build unbreakable confidence, learn
from your mistakes. Reflect on your experiences. Listen to constructive criticism. And most of all…
don’t be afraid to grow and move forward. Thank you for watching TopThink,
and be sure to subscribe, because more incredible content is on the way.