Is anyone home?
Yeah, we're right here.
Ah. I still can't see.
Too bad, I'm super naked.
No, you're not. I'd know.
Being without sight has heightened my other senses.
I'm completely in tune with my surroundings.
You rearrange the furniture?
Don't say a word.
I am honing my sensory skills. I need to do this on my own.
Hello, Millicent.
It's Freddie.
His Harper naked?
Which one of these things
can I add to the sculpture to make you like it?
Spencer, that's not what this is a--
Are those my sunglasses?
Maybe or maybe they're art.
Oh, come on. Who cares what I think?
Me, me cares.
But why does me care?
What, just 'cause I'm young, cool
and probably the hottest person you'll ever meet in real life?
Yeah, all of those.
When you made the sculpture, you were inspired,
and you loved it. That's all that matters.
I'll buy you a car if you say you like it.
You are lucky I do not have parking.
Uh, the straights.
Engagement, bridal shower, bachelor, bachelorette,
rehearsal dinner, wedding, post wedding brunch,
if you haven't had seven parties celebrating your conformity
to social norms, did you even get married?
I'm with you on the showers, but rehearsal dinners hold
a solemn purpose to pick out who you want to hook up with
at the wedding.
I regret I have but one Spencer to share
with so many lonely women.
Uh-uh. Not having it 'cause at this wedding,
you'll be sharing the lonely women with me,
and I'm the undisputed queen of wedding hook-ups.
Undisputed? I dispute it.
Is that a challenge?
Oh, Harper, if Mark McGwire wanted a face-off
in a home run derby, would that be a challenge?
Depends. Are you saying you use performance-enhancing drugs?
All right, let's see who gets the most phone numbers
by the end of the weekend, then we'll know
who's the true hook-up king.
Gender-neutral monarch.
Winner plans a date that the loser has to go on.
Bet. Wait, this is unfair.
You have twice as many targets 'cause you go both ways.
Always, and... ha ha...
I know that you didn't just try to insinuate
that you're at a disadvantage 'cause you're straight.
[laughing]
No. No. I didn't.
- I thought so. - That would be crazy.
Millicent, what is taking you so long?
You're just supposed to steal the cookies and come right back.
Well, hello. I'm Spencer.
I'm Maeve. I'm Harper's cousin that was kidnapped
and taken to sea.
- Oh. - So nice to meet you.
- Oh, gee! Oh, my dear. - Ooh.
I, uh, I guess I haven't gotten my land legs yet.
Well, lucky for me I got to catch you.
Yeah, thank you.
You've had such an ordeal.
Yeah, I try to look on the bright side.
I saw a lot of the world, when I wasn't blindfolded.
Wow, your attitude is so refreshing.
You know what else is refreshing?
Is that from the Adriatic?
Yes. Excellent nose.
[laughing]
Yeah, okay. This was fun.
But we haven't seen each other in a really long time,
and I skipped the girls' trip so we could catch up, so...
[laughing] Bye.
A surprise party to end all surprise parties.
You heard the letter; Carly needs this.
But Harper doesn't.
I really wanted to go to Snoqualmie Falls
so I could throw myself off of it.
Okay, let it out. Dr. Spence is here.
My idol came into work today, and instead of being my normal,
fun, fabulous, super charismatic, sexy self,
I froze up.
It's like when I had dinner with the Dalai Lama.
He was a lousy tipper.
You don't understand.
If I could have impressed Alexavier,
he might let me style one of his shoots.
And that could change my entire career trajectory.
Alexavier the photographer?
You know who Alexavier is?
I'm going to ignore your tone
while I do you an enormous favor.
Xay-xay and I go way back.
I'll just invite him to the party,
and you can have a do-over.
This party is the best idea you've ever had.
You've got five numbers. I've got four.
Give me your phone. What're their names?
Right there. Hot wedding guest one,
hot wedding guest two, hot wedding guest three...
That's my number. You reprogrammed me.
You're hot. You're a wedding guest,
and at one point, you gave me your number.
Now wait a minute, that's... all totally true.
Carry on.
[laughing]
I got Chinese, DVDs and a stuffed Maltese.
You know, just in case you need a comfort object.
Y'all ate already?
Oh, yeah, I told Spencer
how much I was missing the ocean,
and he surprised me with my favorite dinner.
An Alaskan crab leg buffet.
You should've seen how adorable she was cracking those legs.
Yeah, cute.
But I thought Chinese was your favorite food.
Since when do you like crab?
Since I spent four years at sea.
Plus my kidnappers were very anti-gluten,
so, I kind of don't do Chinese anymore.
That makes sense.
But you still like action movies, right?
'Cause I got
Ooh, I shouldn't have gotten
Yeah, I've had enough action/adventure
in my real life, you know, so these days, I'm more into--
- Romance? - Yes.
It's funny you should mention romance movies and the sea,
because I have another surprise for you.
Spencer, this is amazing!
Well, there is one more thing, but I don't know,
maybe it's over-the-top!
Well, we wouldn't want that!
May I sketch you?
Are we about to live out my
Y'all know how that movie ends, right?!
Hey, guys, it's me, Laci Mosley.
I play Harper on iCarly
and thank you so much for watching.
Like, subscribe, get into it.