-Hey, guys, it is time for a "News Smash."
[ Cheers and applause ]
First up, it's St. Patrick's Day.
The big parade might not be happening this year.
But that doesn't mean you can't celebrate the Irish
with some corned beef and cabbage
that you bought using the money from...
your stimulus check.
Biden says 100 million people will receive $1,400
or more in the next 10 days.
Though I have a feeling a lot of them will blow their money on...
March Madness.
People are making bets left and right.
Who will make it to the Sweet 16, the Final Four?
Who will go all the way?
Well, if you want to go all the way why not try...
Tinder?
The app is in the news because they're mailing
free COVID tests to people, so they can be safe
before going on dates.
Some users like the idea, others think it's weird,
but one idea everyone can get behind?
Stimulus checks.
Gimme that stim-y.
That moolah. That cold, hard cash.
That cheddar. That paper. That lettuce.
That...green.
Green beer. Green hair. Green clothes.
Some people pinch you if you're not wearing green.
And they're the kind of people you should avoid on...
Tinder.
You can get tested before a big date, and let's be honest,
you should probably get "tested" after, too.
Though I've got to say, dating right now seems like complete...
madness -- 68 teams vying for the top spot.
A bunch of college kids going at it,
which is also a great way to describe...
Tinder.
In conclusion...
you're in luck.
Good luck out there.
You might get lucky.
[ Irish accent ] It's the luck o' the Irish.
This has been a "News Smash."