- How long is too long to wait to respond to a text?
- Let's talk about that.
(catchy music)
Gooooood Mythical Morning!
- Mythical beasts, a question is like a rainbow:
once asked, you scurrow the hillside,
searching for that rainbow's end
because you know there's gonna be a pot
of golden answer goodness.
You search high and low, but you realize
that finding the end of a rainbow is impossible,
unless, of course, you have the help
of an answer leprechaun.
You're in luck, mythical beast,
because with me magical beard
and Link's ability to make teeny shoes,
we can easily pose as leprechaun imposters.
Top of the morning to ya,
we say as we pinch each other's butts
and successfully befriend a family of answer leprechauns,
who happily lead us to the end of the rainbow.
And there, mythical beast,
glistening in that beautifully refracted rainbow light
is an enormous cauldron full of gold doubloons
and your answer.
- Oh wow.
That was great, Rhett.
- Happy St. Patrick's Day.
- Okay.
- That was my best. That's all I've got.
There's no more where that came from.
- Doubloons are defunct Spanish currency,
but Happy St. Patty's Day.
Anyway, we asked you to ask us questions about etiquette.
- Hmm. - Etiquette questions.
First one from telepathicallyspeaking,
"How late is too late to respond to a text message?"
- Okay, I have some pretty strong feelings about this.
I think in general, you should wait no more
than an hour to respond to a text.
- I agree with that.
60 minutes. - But I do wanna say
that if you respond in the same day, you're not being rude,
but if the day goes by, you go to sleep, you don't text,
at that point you're just being rude.
- 'Cause you might be swimming for three hours
and then you gotta respond to a text.
- Swimming, it happens. - Don't let the sun set
on an un-responded text that's just sitting there.
But, and this is a big but,
if and when you start typing in response to a text
and that bubble and the dot, dot, dot
comes up for the other person
so they know that you are indeed
typing a text to them,
even if you change your mind,
which I do frequently and delete the whole thing,
and then that goes away,
"Oh, they stopped typing, they stopped typing entirely,"
you have 60 seconds.
- Clock is ticking. - You have 59.99999 seconds
to respond to that text,
and you gotta come up with something.
So the question is what's it gonna be when you don't know?
And we have the answer. We have the answer.
We have the one word answer. That's right.
That word is perhaps.
- [Both] Perhaps.
- It works in any situation that happens within texting,
the word perhaps.
Let me demonstrate.
Someone who you don't like hanging out with texts,
"Wanna hang out?"
- Perhaps.
- Your landlord texts "Your rent is two weeks overdue.
Pay me by the end of the day or I will evict you."
- Perhaps.
- Your girlfriend's ex-boyfriend texts,
"I'm gonna find you and kill you in your sleep."
- Perhaps. - Your mama texts
"I love you." - Perhaps.
- Your boss texts, "I need that report stat!"
- Perhaps.
- Then, your boss texts, "You're fired!"
- Perhaps.
See, it never doesn't work,
which means that it always does work.
Perhaps, that's it.
- Next question.
- Coming from our-own-hands-against-our hearts who asks,
"Why is it so stressful trying to guess
what manner of greeting to give a new person?
Cheek kiss? Handshake?
Crisp high-five? Finger guns and a wink?
There should be written guidelines."
- You know what? You're right.
It is stressful to know what greeting to choose
as they're walking up or as you're walking up.
What do I do? There's so many options.
And yes, it does call for written guidelines,
which is why we present to you
a Good Mythical Morning Work of Chart.
- [Rhett] Good Mythical Morning Work of Chart.
Number 76, Choosing the Proper Greeting.
- [Link] Selecting the best method to greet someone
can feel overwhelming and complicated,
but it's actually quite simple and straightforward.
- [Rhett] First, we gotta establish who are they?
If you work together, are they a subordinate or your boss?
Do you like your job? Maybe you don't.
Maybe your boss insists on calling you Carol
even though you repeatedly told him that your name is Carl.
Go in for a fist bump, then surprise him with a wet willy.
He'll never see it coming.
- [Link] What if the person is a family member?
Is it your parent, sibling,
or third cousin that you're pretty sure is adopted?
No problem.
Are you seeing them at a family or union or in a sauna?
Okay.
Are you naked? It doesn't really matter.
Are they naked?
Yes. Have you made eye contact?
If no, run away.
If yes, give that naked cousin
some double finger guns and a wink.
- [Rhett] If the person you meet happens
to be a total stranger, always ask yourself,
is there danger?
No. Are you sure?
You think so?
Think again! Run away!
- [Link] One of the most important greetings
is when you meet a date.
First off, what date is it?
Your hundredth? Your first?
Oh, you're not even sure if it's even a date at all?
In this situation, location is key.
Are you meeting 'em at the movies, coffee shop, sauna?
Sauna. Wait, you're dating your third cousin?
I think you got it from here.
- [Rhett] What if you're simply greeting a friend?
Are they your best friend? A frenemy?
Oh, you honestly thought they were dead
until you saw their Facebook post
about their new fitness regimen.
That one's the trickiest.
Is this your high school reunion or the mall food court?
Are they in line at the Sbarro?
Ooh, they're serving you food at the Sbarro?
Proceed immediately to Panda Express.
You didn't want ZD anyway.
- [Link] Now go and greet with confidence.
- It's that simple.
And that chart is available on our Tumblr,
link is in the description.
- aleanamarieg asks "How to tell someone they have
pit stains, boogers, food in their teeth, et cetera?"
- Ah yes, this is a useful skill
because you see the key is you want to be able
to point something like that out to someone
- Subtly. - without embarrassing them
by saying it in front of a lot of people.
So just the other night, Link and I are having dinner
with our permanent lady friends, those are our wives.
And so I was like, "Link's got some broccoli in his teeth,"
and I was like, "I gotta let him know."
- It happens. - So I did the thing
that I always do and I kind of go into this
and just real subtle, I'm just like.
And he knows exactly what I mean by that.
- I knew that there was some broccoli in the teeth
and I removed it, and I didn't know why
my permanent lady friend didn't say anything first,
but she didn't. - Yeah, it was my angle.
- We had a little fight later about it,
and she won, but that's fine.
- Yeah, she always does.
- You know, we've got plenty of symbols that we developed
over the course of our friendship,
signals, if you will, a system, if you will
for all types of things.
For instance, if Rhett's breath stinks,
I'll just give a little,
and he knows. - Exactly.
If Link has
- Get some gum. - some eye crusties,
then I just very simply just say.
- Right, and no one sees that except me,
- He goes right for 'em. - and I de-booger the eyes.
Occasionally, Rhett will lift an arm or two
and there'll be a pit stain there.
I gotta let him know, so I'm just like.
- Yeah.
And as Link often does, he might come back
from the bathroom with some toilet paper on his foot.
And this is one I actually have to stand up for,
but it is still pretty simple and straightforward.
I'm just like.
And then, he knows what to do, right?
- Yeah, it's subtle.
I mean, you're standing, but it is subtle.
- Right, right, right.
- There's plenty of times where Rhett
squats down or bends over,
and it's like, "Oh, his butt crack's showing,
what am I gonna do? - Just the way I'm shaped.
- I'm just gonna serve up a symbol.
So it's pretty simple, I get his attention and I'm like.
- Yep.
- A little bit of that goes a long way.
- I'd never mistake that for anything else
other than my butt crack
must be showing. - Can we get a close up?
Here we go.
- [Rhett] Just in case you didn't see the first time.
- I think you might have wanted a close up of that.
- There's Link mimicking my butt crack with his hand.
That is what is happening right now.
Very effective system.
- For your eyes only.
- Yeah, that's just a couple of things we do.
- It's for your eyes only. - We have a whole system.
Okay, now it is time for The MMythical Games.
- As you know, each week we're competing
against each other in a game to celebrate
75 years of M, with our friends at M&M's.
- Last week, Link took home
the Mustard Makeover Medallion,
but this week is a brand new challenge.
It's time for the Magnetized Mullet March.
- Okay, we have dawned our mullets that are magnetized.
Just got a braid here with a dangling magnet on the end.
- And here's what we're gonna do.
We're gonna start on that side,
and we are going to march backwards.
Marching means knees up to hand level.
With your magnetized braid, you're going to,
we are going to grab...
You okay over there? - Yeah, I'm good.
- We're gonna grab something from the salvage yard,
and then we're going to march back over to our bucket.
Once you cross over that line,
you can touch your braid and the object,
drop it off and then march back.
Whoever gets the most objects
in their bucket after 75 seconds
- [Both] Wins.
- Let's do it.
Are you Mitch?
- I'm Mitch. You're Butch.
- [Link] Butch.
- Hey, Butch.
- [Link] Mitch, you got something in your beard, man.
- Yeah, hair.
- [Link] I even know there's food.
- Food for later.
- [Link] Food in your Mitch.
(both laughing)
- What?
- [Link] Yes, I called your beard a Mitch.
- Oh, but your name's Mitch.
- [Link] Oh.
Your name's Mitch.
My name's - [Both] Butch.
- [Link] Your name's Mitch.
- Yeah.
- [Link] And you're Mitch, he's your beard, man.
- That's weird.
Okay. - On your marks, get set,
go!
- [Link] All right, Mitch! Let's get us some parts!
Oh, I went too far!
- [Rhett] Oh, did I get one? Did I get one?
- [Link] I'm trying to get a part.
- [Rhett] I got it!
I don't know what it is, but I got it.
- [Link] I'm dangling. There we go.
I got one, Mitch!
- [Rhett] What'd you get, Butch?
- [Link] I don't know. Let me see.
Nope.
I'm not doing too good!
I gotta squat on this one.
- [Rhett] I got a speaker, Butch!
Oh, I dropped it, Butch.
- All right, I'm coming!
I'm coming on back.
I gotta look where I'm going.
- I got an object, Butch!
- [Link] What are we building, anyway?
- [Rhett] A secret toy.
- [Link] Hey! My magnet's too weak.
- [Rhett] A robot.
- [Link] Mitch, you gave me a weak magnet.
- [Rhett] Butch, I didn't do nothing with your magnet.
- [Link] I'm marching too hard.
- Butch, I got a doorknob!
I mean, I got something for a door.
I'm also getting tired, Butch.
Butch, I'm getting,
I'm getting tired, Butch.
- [Link] I'm getting tired too!
- [Rhett] We need to hire a helper.
- [Link] Well, we're building a helper!
- [Stevie] Five. Four.
Three. Two.
One. Time.
- Oh, time?
- Did I win? - Rhett did it faster,
so he wins.
- Ah. - The name's Mitch.
- Congratulations, Mitch!
- Yeah! - You win
the Memento of Montosity.
- Ooh, congratulations to me.
- Woo!
- All right, stay tuned for more MMythical Games next week.
- Thanks for liking, commenting and subscribing.
- You know what time it is.
- My name is Carissa from Edmonton, Alberta,
and it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality.
- Thanks to M&M's for sponsoring this episode.
You too can celebrate with M.
Click the link in the description to join us
as we celebrate 75 years with M&M's.
- Click through to Good Mythical More
where we're gonna open your mail.
Let's find out what this is.
- I know what it is.
- Oh.
- Overly confident conversation about particle physics.
- Well, of course, you know
when it comes to the physics of particles,
- Yes, they... - I'm there. I'm in it.
- The thing about particles and they're so physical
- Right. - is that
- They're small. - I see 'em everywhere.
- And they're small.
- You've got particles all over you.
- And when they group, they make things.
- And you're made of particles.
- Right. - I'm made of particles.
Everything is made of particles.
- And if you throw 'em up, what happens?
- Particle time.
- Particle time, exactly right.
You throw 'em up
and it's particle time. - Particle time!
- Less than that, yeah. Just a little.
- How many?
- If we break - Set a bigger goal.
- 2 million followers on Twitter,
then Rhett, Jenna and I will arm wrestle.
- Okay. - Three way arm wrestle?