Hello everyone.
My name is Tan France.
And I'm Rob France.
And we are about to be dads,
and we couldn't be more excited
to share our journey with you.
Rob, do you want to tell our love story?
How far back do we want to go?
All the way to the start.
- All the way to the beginning. - Yeah.
I was living in Salt Lake City,
and happened to stumble upon this gay dating website.
We met on the website, and then met up for a few dates.
13 and a half years later, the rest is history.
We fell in love, we moved in together,
we continued to date, and then got it worked out.
- Right? - Right.
Right.
If you know me from Queer Eye, you know I don't have a filter.
I don't know how to not talk
about the things that I want to talk about.
And so really early on,
we established that we both want kids.
Yeah.
We come from very different cultures.
I'm Pakistani Muslim.
Rob is a, well, you were--
A Mormon. Yeah.
A Mormon cowboy.
A Mormon from the Midwest, yeah.
Yes, from the Midwest.
And we were raised very, very differently.
And so finding a partner who agrees
with how you want to raise your children is important.
If there's any advice that I could give to any couple
from what we've learned is talk those things out.
Set up those ground rules from the get go,
so you're both on the same page.
- We know people who have had children via surrogacy.
So they had actually done a lot of the research already.
I wouldn't even have known where to start.
Yeah.
Like, it's such a complicated process.
We're lucky enough to have a lot of people
with experience already in the area.
So we just kind of went with their recommendations.
The greatest resources we found
are the surrogacy agencies
and the reproductive centers themselves.
They give us so much information,
more information than we could possibly ever need or read.
However, before going through this process,
there really isn't enough information out there
to help support people
who are trying to go through the surrogacy process.
The best advice that we were given from our friends
is to really do the research before your baby comes.
Decide what kind of parent you want to be,
track their progress when they're in the womb
to understand how they're growing,
and then have a game plan when they turn up.
We knew that we were having a baby
the day before Christmas.
We'd been going through the process for a few months.
Christmas Eve, we found out it was official.
We are expecting.
And so, we decided to announce it
about four and a half months in.
And you know, when I posted that we were having a baby,
the majority of the comments were just wonderful,
and there was so much incredible support.
But there were many people out there
who seemed wildly offended
that we were choosing surrogacy,
as opposed to adoption.
Your decision to have children is your decision,
and you should be able to choose
whatever avenue you want.
- There is a lot of stigma about surrogacy in general,
- but also about gay parents. - Yes. Yes.
Yeah, using surrogates.
- I think that people are more willing
to accept a straight couple,
a heterosexual couple who have used a surrogate,
because they must've had complications,
and therefore they needed to outsource.
But, we also have those same concerns.
I can't get Rob pregnant, he can't get me pregnant.
That shouldn't discount us from having children.
I do think that a lot of the stigma
that comes along with surrogacy
is, I think it comes from the lack of knowledge
- about the process. - Yeah.
- There are so many things I can't wait to teach our son.
You go ahead, I'm sure you've got plenty
that you want to teach him.
- I grew up on a farm, on a ranch,
so I've always kind of had a knack or a know-how.
Whereas I literally can't change a light bulb.
I was thinking about it yesterday.
I want him to mow the lawn.
I want him to plant things outside.
I want him to help fix pipes.
I want my children to understand my culture.
And I think that kids understand and learn culture
through language and food.
And so I can't wait to teach him things like that.
I know that Tan is excited
to try and teach him how to dress.
Yes.
I think the funniest thing on the planet is going to be
when he shows literally no interest in clothing.
They're gonna hate, they're gonna hate--
I know--
They're going to hate hearing the French talk,
they're gonna say, "I don't want to hear it".
- I know. - That was forever ago,
is what they're gonna say.
Like, "I know, Dad".
But they're gonna know what it is.
We just want our children to be the kindest,
most loving children you could meet.
And I hope that together,
we'll raise a very wonderfully rounded child.
- And we're so excited.
He's all I can think about all day every day,
I am completely consumed by the thought
of how much I will love my son.
And I it's a feeling I cannot get over.