I saw all of her organs show we need you
in this community god there's so much
blood [ __ ] she says she hears shooting
from her West Side apartment every night
some people feel like they're not even
know make us to see the age 18 if you
can say 18 birthday we actually
celebrate we call it turning up because
you made it there's one group of people
left out of the narrative about gang
violence young women and girls women
reportedly make up just seven point four
percent of gang membership nationwide
but a significant number grow up in or
near gangs and places like the southside
of Chicago
there isn't much attention paid to how
it impacts their lives or why some of
them might choose or feel pressured to
join gangs themselves Chardonnay and
Jessa Kia are two young women who are
living through it my name is Jessica
Morris I'm 25 years old our
participating games when I was like 16
17 16 17 I got involved in games because
I wanted I wanted some fast money the
money that I had it wasn't good enough
for me so I wanted a fast money so in
order for me to do what I wanted to do I
had to be a part of what they were it
was a part of I had to join basically
join the family my mom used to beat me
then one of my mom's boyfriend's was
molesting me trying to make it seem like
I was doing it to him I'm only nine
years old when I tried to tell my mom
she loved me from the third floor told
me like TV imma kill your mother to say
those words to you it hurt and that's
another reason I turned again because I
made that killed my mom and loved me so
why should I even kill so I turned to
the streets looking for love not knowing
that I had all these people around me
that already was loving me Perry already
Jessa Kia had her first child while she
was still involved with gangs Florida
Keys I ain't had to do too much itself a
sailor couple from Jaws I was the rest
of 1610 I was in and out of jail
always in trouble I end up getting shot
I lost a couple of my friends to it all
type of stuff is going on gang culture
it's like it could destroy you but at
the same time it's uplifting because you
learn from it at the same time I'll
think what our width won't all look at
its normal state that I made I look at
it as a learning experience
then when I found that I was having a
son I knew that I had to do something
different because I didn't want him to
grow up in the same environment and the
same stuff that I grew up in or even
think that he had to turn to those
people cause back then I felt like I had
to turn today it's real hard to get out
because when you try to escape yourself
from some situations people look at you
different now you now you will snitch
now you did smell you that looks a
little bit my biggest fear right now is
my past coming back to haunt me once
again and me again took away from my
kids I still got a lot of anger in me
about a whole lot of stuff for life and
there's a lot of people tell me I'll
know how to show other people because I
never had nobody show love to me and
everybody who ever put my trust in a
time say back home so it's like it'd be
hard for me sometimes and all the people
I was like you always come off
aggressive but I'll be trying to it's
just like I got someone's stuff going on
in my head like it'd be hard to even
show sympathy to anybody don't nobody
get enough for me I dream about living
life differently every day a lot of
people running away from sin y'all want
to run away from I see I want to make my
seed be better life
there are many women like Jessa Kia who
grew up in gangs with little choice in
the matter because of family connections
or because they need the money and
support and there are women like
chardonnay who grew up adjacent to these
gangs with little choice because of
where their neighborhood is located
my name is Chardonnay Nez I am a
freshman at Blackburn College growing up
in my neighborhood I always felt like it
was two tales of a city living in an
Chicago on the south side
underprivileged neighborhood I felt like
we didn't get as many resources as other
kids got in other areas of Chicago and I
felt like growing up in England we had
to face many challenges that other
people wouldn't understand every day
somebody's getting killed just alone
this weekend for people I grew up with
were murdered even though we wasn't as
close but it still affected me because I
set by them every day in school or I
seen him every day in my neighborhood it
traumatizes me when I heard the gunshots
I think about who could possibly believe
that they got shot I just hope that it's
not one of my brothers and sisters or
nobody real close to me it makes me fear
my city like it makes me fear the people
around me my biggest fear is not knowing
whether one of my family members are
going to end up on the news neck or if
I'm going to end up on the news some
people feel like they not even gonna
make it to see the age 18 if you get to
18 verse and we actually celebrate we
call it turning up because you made it
Chardonnay had to leave her home because
of domestic violence and her senior year
of high school I still am basically
homeless
I live with my cousin and I've been live
with her for like a year now
it made me join every program at school
I usually go to school and like 8
o'clock didn't come up like 8:00 at
night I joined the National Honor
Society the flag pain they're Marvel
every program that that I surround are
drawing and knowing that I don't have a
place I can come on or knowing that I
have to worry about if a person wake up
and saying well you got to get out my
house this that was my motivation the
things that hold me together are my
goals and my dreams my sisters and
brothers and god I want to be a
gynecologist so the minute I got weak I
started calling myself down semester
around myself like this is why you don't
go to school every day I love college
even though I had struggles like a
certain classes I'm glad I went I'm
meeting new people I'm exposed to
diversity because then Inglewood all I
seen was African Americans I didn't I
didn't learn now I'm learning how to
interact with other races and
ethnicities and learning their culture
as well she's also learned a chant from
a group called Demoiselles FM that helps
ground her in moments of stress or
crisis
femininity bill Mondale disarm come on
bill Eddie get out of bed
wazzle well I found against
organizations like DTF are just one of
many that are dedicated to helping young
women in Chicago working on womanhood of
youth guidance is one that helps young
women deal with trauma through group
counseling actually cry feel okay I know
you felt enough to break through and to
be awfully girls tend to respond
differently to trauma into the community
violence than boys do and my experience
has been that the girls are a little bit
more reserved in their responses they're
kind of quiet and shy they tend to be
the ones that want to hold it all
together they want to be the ones that
are strong and supportive of the parents
or the family members of those that have
lost someone then there are the urban
warriors of YMCA Chicago a group of
military veterans who serve as mentors
to the girls they draw on their own
experiences to help them recover from
violence and conflict young women and
female veterans their experiences are
left out of the narrative and I think if
you really look at violence that is
experienced by both populations these
girls could be shooters these girls
could be shot callers however they're
also girlfriends sisters daughters
partners moms and grandmothers they're
part of the equation
young people are products of their
environment so if they're growing up in
communities where there are no schools
there are no jobs the nearest grocery
store might be a couple of miles away
their parents are living in poverty
maybe they have a parent who's
incarcerated or a parent who's been
deported that disrupts their social
safety net right so these young people
aren't given a fair chance so I think so
often people look at them as just bad
kids or they join gangs because you know
there's nothing better to do but in
actuality they're joining these
structures for safety for a positive
sense of themselves they're looking for
support that they're not getting
otherwise
just give us a chance if you teach us
we'll learn like just give us the same
opportunities and resources as everybody
else and we do the same thing that
everybody else do if I can salsa Jessica
as 69 summer life live your own life
stop trying to be somebody else because
somebody else want you to be that person
[Music]
you