Hey Dan here and if you've ever felt like your emotions get out of control
that may be your lead first by emotions and then later wonder what the heck has
happened that you find yourself changing direction perhaps a little bit more than
you'd like then please stay tuned you're going to get a lot out of this video I
actually was inspired to make this video after just filming the last video I
assume I'm going to post these back-to-back about making decisions and
thinking about your life when you're in a poor mental state and I really just
wanted to expand on that but really touch on a lot of the decision-making
process and how we think and I first came across this when I was studying
sales back in the day young money driven you know guy I was I was studying in
both sales and one of the the things you come across is that for the majority of
people they experience an emotion first and then they justify it later with
logic so in the sales process right if you want to learn a little bit about
being a sales man what that means is you give people like a feeling they want and
then they will want your product and then you just need to give them enough
logic to justify it. A great example of this is German car companies in
particular but things like BMWs or mercedes where if you look at how they
do their advertising and set everything up they do it really well so primarily
why does someone usually want to buy like a BMW it's status it's ideally
because it's a fast car and they like to drive but unfortunately I'm like the
only one like that but it's primarily around status it's maybe impressing
people it could be that it's fast and sporty and fun but it's really hard in a
lot of societies and in a lot of families to justify a big financial
purchase based on it'll make me feel good and it'll be fun right so what do
they do they have 27 airbags right all these safety features and that way you
can you can justify it to yourself and also maybe your husband or your wife and
say listen like I don't want it because it's cool I want it because it will keep
our kids safe or this sort of thing right it also gives the salesperson that
that angle to basically start with you know hey
let's take it for a drive and make the guy feel really cool but then can say no
no but the real reason to buy it is it holds its resale value or have all these
safety features of that sort of thing so if you found in the past that you feel
something in you're drawn somewhere and then you kind of emotionally justify it
you're not alone this is how we are wired and this is why as a salesperson I
well I wasn't a salesperson but someone who was in sales that I that I studied
it and learned about it now here's how it can come up in our own lives and can
really mess with us especially if you're a personality type geek like me if
you're an ENFP or an INFP someone who tends to change directions perhaps quite
a bit then often what will happen is you're going to have an emotion come up
first right so let's say there was actually a comment just left today on
the channel about what someone who wanted to start start doing something
their own business and they were three days in and they kept talking themselves
out of it they were already basically coming up with all these reasons why
they shouldn't start their own business and here's what's happening there and if
you've experienced this yourself right you started something then quit or
haven't even really started you get started and you have all these positive
ceilings right I don't like oh I'm going to have all this freedom or I'm going to
get to quit my job or it will be so cool because I'll you know get to make videos
or have fun with people or do whatever it is and then the fear sets in but what
so in this case the comment was about starting a YouTube channel right and
then the fear comes in but what what if nobody watches my videos what if I don't
make any money what if my friends think I look stupid what if my family judges
me for this what if people laugh at me right I have none of these fears I just
assume that all of you love me but these kind of fears do come up right and we
don't live in a society that whatever society you are on earth basically you
don't live in a society that really likes to acknowledge emotions very much
maybe maybe if you're Latin American but if you're from Asia Europe or North
America you don't really believe in feelings very much right and so it's
weird for us to say I'm scare I'm scared I'm going to fail so I don't
know if I should do this what's more common is we feel this fear and then we
rationally justify a way out of it so this is coming up with the reasons why
the business will fail why it's a bad time to start the business why you know
there's all these other factors perhaps against it or it's stupid or whatever it
is right it's fear based and fear can be one of the main emotions that often
drives us if you end up changing directional up it's probably a result of
fear fear being committed your Saleen fear of getting stuck fear of looking
stupid that's probably the core emotion but there could be other emotions but
the main thing here is just that you have the emotion come up and then what
you'll be able to do especially if you're one of the personality types I
mentioned like enfps or infps is you're going to be really smart and smart
enough to talk your way into or out of anything so if you have that emotion
which is your primary driver right which is going to be pushing you you're going
to be able to come up with all kinds of excuses how you could talk a Harvard
scientist into believing that garbage you're spewing but you and me both know
it's probably garbage that's just based on fear right and you're coming up with
all these reasons using your your logical abilities using your intelligent
to talk your way out of something that you didn't want to do but when it got
hard or difficult or scary you basically yeah the emotions came up and then you
found ways to justify it so how do you deal with this right we've established
that the human nature is to have emotions and then talk ourselves into or
out of it right to come up with the rational basis so that we can feel
justified in our interaction but feel like yeah I did the right thing you know
this was the right direction to go or whatever using logic that may or may not
make sense but usually we find a way to even make it make sense so how can you
avoid this what I've found works really well for me and does not always
work.but has worked quite well I would say is setting your plan in motion like
taking taking a day let's say it could be a week and it could be an hour it
doesn't even need to be a full day and spending that time on your plan whatever
that is right but it should be a somewhat specific plan one of mine that
I started a few months ago was published three youtube videos a week this was a
plan I had and it was a commitment to a friend who was holding me to it
I believe I promised him all sorts of inappropriate things if I didn't do it
so I was really stuck to it but even without that external accountability I
had a plan and I did not then allow myself to question right so a month in I
could have got busy and justified not doing YouTube videos as much or I could
have you know got worried or not had the results I wanted in fact the results
have been great the channel has been been growing quite nicely but even if it
hadn't I had this commitment to just execute so the the advantage of setting
aside dedicated planning time is that you do not allow yourself to plan and
change your direction throughout the rest of your days or the rest of your
time so one way I've looked at this or I discussed this with people is think of
your brain as two different roles right you have the like CEO the big picture of
the planner right the president of your brain who comes up with all your plans
then you have your director your operations manager the person is
actually responsible for executing and getting things done I would encourage
you to only employ especially when you're just starting out it's more
important when you're starting out to only employ the CEO for like a couple
hours a month you know limit their time focus on like have your CEO time where
you come up with a plan that makes sense maybe run it by a friend or an expert
coach someone to give you that feedback of this is a good plan and then do not
allow yourself to adjust that plan for a couple months at a time
I'm not saying ride that plan off a cliff right just keep going forever but
the odds are if you struggle with this your problem is not that you don't
change direction or you don't like plan enough
it's that you plan too much and that you change direction way too much and so I
would encourage you to and this is what I do and what's work really well for me
is I will commit to like a three month minimum sometimes longer like with my
free freelancer group coaching program if you are an aspiring freelancer coach
or consultant it's for you with that program I committed to doing it for over
a year it's taught in three-month chunks but when I started I committed that I
would run it for at least a year but I you know going to I'm even going to do
it much longer than that now but the commitment was to do this for a year
regardless of the results right as long as I get enough students in it that that
can can do it that I'm going to keep doing it that I'm not going to kind of
second-guess it or change directions and so I made that commitment before I even
started and that took the option off the table for me
and so yeah plan plan but plan in a limited time period and then stop
planning and just focus on executing that to me is the main way to get away
from this emotional influence on our plans and the constant changes of
direction so come up with a plan and then when you feel that urge to change
direction write the plan down obviously then you can look at your phone and say
no I committed to this two months ago this is my plan I'm going to write it
out I'm going to do it and that's the plan right is just to execute it not to
give yourself the opportunity to second-guess and all that now if you
have trouble with this then we might be talking about an issue of like integrity
or being able to just like hold your word to mean something and all that and
that is a whole nother topic to get into that I think I made videos on but I
can't remember the titles or what videos they are but I have talked about this
before in terms of building up like credibility and integrity with yourself
and staying committed I think it might be in my discipline videos probably in
the discipline videos um so that's it I hope you've enjoyed this video little
less planned in my other ones but as I said I literally just film the other
video and realize that there was a more I wanted to add to it to give you
more takeaways that you could actually like take this and use it and understand
the whole phenomenon more in terms of the physical states and emotions and
then how that influences our logical decision making to bring it all together
in the last video it talked about how when you're in a bad physical state you
tend to end up making these really bad decisions or judging yourself a lot
what's happening there is when you feel really bad that leads to negative
emotions anxiety fear nervousness those negative emotions then influence you and
what your brain will do is rationally justify it and coming up with the
rational sides of thought to basically push you in whatever direction and
that's how it all comes together there so hope you found this helpful if you
have make sure to subscribe to the channel as I said I publish new videos
every Monday Wednesday and Friday at least to the end of my three month
commitment here now I'm going to keep going after that too and that's it
thanks for watching