Clay: Why won't my ex admit to
being in a new relationship? That's what we're going to talk about in this video. But first,
my name is Clay with modernlove.life, where we help you get the great loving relationship
that you're looking for without having to play mind games, without having to play hard to get,
and without having to pretend to be someone or something that you are not, because you of course,
deserve to be loved for the unique, amazing, and wonderful person that you are. If you agree with
me, do me a favor by hitting that thumbs up button and by subscribing to this channel so that you
can get notified when we post new videos. Also, in this video, we are going to be talking
about what you can do if your ex is in a rebound relationship. We talk about emotional connection,
and we'll get into that a little bit later, but this is something that we go into great detail
on in our course called the Ex Solution Program. So, if you want to learn more about that, or you
want to sign up, there's a link to it down below. I'm not going to twist your arm on it though. So,
if it's not right for you, no worries. Let's go ahead and get into this. Why is your ex maybe in a
new relationship and they're not telling you about it, they're not admitting to it?
Well, first of all, if you know that your ex is in a new relationship,
I'm going to guess that most of y'all know this because you've been snooping around online.
You've been doing things that are a little bit too over invested here. You're kind of
keeping tabs on them online, you're scouring their social media and all that stuff, and you're like,
whose arm is that around them in that one photo? This is probably something that
you might not want to do. There's a couple of reasons for it. First of all, many people claim
to be a no-contact, but I've yet to find an actual effective version of no contact that involves
spying on your ex and watching their every move meticulously. Most effective versions of no
contact do not involve that. They involve blocking out anything that reminds you of your ex, focusing
your life on yourself, bringing yourself back into alignment with your own values, learning how to
connect better with other people, maximizing your impact and maximize your way of being.
All stuff that we talk about all the time on this channel. But yeah, I know you guys aren't just
watching my videos. You're watching other people's videos too. Just be careful who you watch.
But yeah, you want to be careful with that. Also, you want to be careful with this too, because it
distracts you from what the most important thing is. We're going to get to that in a little bit,
so stay tuned, but there could be some reasons why your ex isn't admitting to a new relationship,
even though you believe they're in one, or maybe you actually know that they're
in a new relationship. First of all, is that their relationship isn't all that serious yet.
Nobody wants to go out there and say, hey, I'm in a relationship with someone new
if they aren't sure if that relationship is going to be there tomorrow. Nothing could be
more embarrassing for a lot of people than saying like, hey, I'm in a relationship with someone,
then next day, oh yeah, we broke up. We had some crazy fight about something and now
I'm single again. That can be kind of embarrassing for a lot of people. If you're going to go out and
tell the people that you know in your life, your friends, your family, people like that,
you want to know that it's going to be there. You want to know that it has some
sort of firm ground beneath it before you actually start telling other people.
If your ex isn't admitting to being in a new relationship, even though you
know that they are, it could be that the relationship just isn't that serious yet,
and so they don't have a lot of confidence in it yet. Another reason that they might not admit
to it is that they're trying to protect your feelings. I know that you might be like, well,
why would they want to protect my feelings? I'm their ex. We had that big, awful nasty breakup.
What you may not realize is that, after a breakup, especially if your ex broke up with you,
the dumper in the breakup will often feel a sense of guilt. Now, if you're the dumpy, the
person receiving the break up, the person whose idea it wasn't to actually break up, you probably
feel a lot of rejection and a lot of hurt. But what you may not realize is the person that
initiated the breakup probably also feels another equally intense emotion called guilt. They feel
guilty thinking of themselves as the kind of person who may have hurt you emotionally,
and they feel guilty thinking that they might be potentially the kind of person that goes
out there and causes other people harm. We don't want to think of ourselves this way.
There's a lot of interesting ways that people can try to accommodate and navigate around this
sense of guilt. Some of that goes beyond the scope of this video, but that is definitely
something out there. But one of the ways that they might do this is that they want to
not cause additional hurt to you. So, if they are dating someone else,
if they are in a relationship with someone else, they might not tell you because they
don't want to hurt you. They don't want to think of themselves as like, here I am,
I caused the wound by breaking up with you, and now here I am with all this salt to just like
rub it right in there. They probably don't want to think about that unless they're really,
really upset with you. Let's put it that way. So, they might just want to be considerate of your
emotions so they might not tell you that they're dating someone else. Another reason is that,
maybe they're just not sure about this new relationship. Maybe they're kind of conflicted
and they're like, well, should I be in a relationship with this new person or
should I be in a relationship with you, my ex? I'm not sure which one I want. So, they're,
in certain way, kind of keeping both options open. Not that they're necessarily using you or
stringing you along. I mean, they might be doing that if you kind of check with yourself and you're
like, yeah, that seems like something they have it within them to do. That seems like that fits their
personality. Then it's like, okay, maybe they are using you, maybe they are stringing you along. But
in my experience, most people's exes are genuinely nice people who are just trying
to do their best to get through life, and maybe the two of you just had some sort
of disagreement or misunderstanding or something and then you broke up.
They're not intentionally trying to use you or hurt you or string you along. They're just a
genuinely confused person and they're just trying to figure out what they want for themselves,
and they're being pulled in two directions. It's not that they're doing this to hurt you,
doing this to string you along, doing this to give you false hope or anything, it's that they're just
doing it because they're just trying to figure out their own life. I promise you, figuring out
your own life is hard enough for most people out there. They probably don't
have enough capacity leftover to play some sort of sick and twisted mind game with you.
Maybe they do, but most people, just dealing with their own lives is challenging enough. I know
that's not the case with me, but I wouldn't think that most people's exes, unless you have actually
seen them demonstrate this sort of like calculated mind game kind of practice in other areas of their
life, I wouldn't think that most people's exes would suddenly develop this sort of sinister
intent suddenly overnight. But beyond all of this, we can speculate about why your ex is admitting
something or withholding something or telling you this, or saying that or doing the opposite.
We can speculate about that day and night, but frankly, it's not going to serve us. It's not
going to serve you to continue to ruminate about this over and over and over again. It's not going
to serve me to sit there and say, oh, well, maybe they're doing this, or oh, if you read that text
message, there was this phrasing, which tells us that. It's not going to be helpful. At the end
of the day, the only one who really knows why they're doing what they're doing, why they're
not admitting to being in a new relationship is them, and that's really the only way that
you're ever going to know what their intention is, is to actually just ask them. Actually, just
get the answer straight from them. That begs the question, okay, if they're in a new relationship,
but they're not admitting it to you, what are you going to do about it?
What do you want? Do you want to get back together with them? Do you not want to get
back together with them? Are you not even sure if you want to get back together with them?
These are all totally valid questions to ask yourself, because whenever we're at a point in our
lives where things seem a little bit strange or uncertain, or things are going or changing a lot,
it makes sense for us to just stop and ask ourselves, what is it I actually want
in this situation? Where do I want to take things from here? If you do want to ... I mean,
obviously if you don't want to get back together with them, then, dude, okay, fine,
great. Just don't get back together with them. But if you do want to get back together with
your ex and they're not admitting to being in a new relationship,
then it's like, okay, well, what are we going to do about it? What are we going to do about it?
We have helped a lot of people get back together with their exes, even if their ex has been in a
rebound relationship before. We've done this through focusing on the most important thing,
which is actually the connection between that person and their ex.
I know every instinct you have is going to say laser focus in on the rebound and do everything
that you can to destroy the rebound and sabotage the rebound and take care of that other person.
But really, the most important thing that you can do is to focus on the quality of the connection
between you and your ex, because the stronger that connection is, the more likely your ex is
going to be to choose you. There's so many people out there that are starved for a quality emotional
connection with someone. I don't think that it's going to get better anytime soon, just because of
technological things that are happening with all of us these days. If you can just build a strong,
emotional connection with your ex, you're going to stand head and shoulders above anyone
else that they might be seeing in their lives. If you can build that emotional connection,
you're going to do everything that you can do to get them to choose to be with you over
anyone else they might be seeing, and that is exactly what we show people how to do inside
of our course called the Ex Solution Program. It goes over what we call advanced relational skills,
which can help you to develop a stronger emotional connection, which of course, is the foundation for
a great, powerful relationship. Once again, that course ESP, Ex Solution Program is down below,
if you want to check it out, but thank you so much for watching this video.
If you like this video, if you like what we're doing, give us a thumbs up and subscribe to the
channel. In the meantime, if you do also want to check out more about rebound relationships,
you can check out this video series over here, or you might want to check out this video over here,
but please take care, thank you. I'll talk to you next time.