Greetings esteemed chemists.
We know you're all positively brimming with excitement and enthusiasm,
ready to get into that laboratory and revel in some chemistry.
But hold your horses, first we have a few laboratory rules
and safety precautions to go over, because your safety is paramount.
First up the iconic lab coat
which not only makes you look like a real scientist just like the ones on TV
but also serves to protect your clothing and skin. Keep it buttoned up at all times.
But remember not wear it in clean spaces such as offices or writeup areas.
Next always protect your peepers with these flattering safety spectacles.
Never enter the lab without these spectacles on
and always wear them on your eyes, not on your head.
Remember to dress appropriately for laboratory work.
Short skirts and sandals leave skin exposed to possible nasty burns and other injuries.
Loose hair can also be hazardous while in the lab.
It could impede your vision, accidentally dip in to chemicals,
get caught in equipment or even catch fire. So keep those luscious locks tied back.
Always keep your mitts clean.
Wash your hands often both when you enter and exit the laboratory.
Now you're ready and properly dressed but before you begin any work in the lab
it is vital to carry out a risk assessment
in order to identify hazards and take practical steps to reduce the risks
of harm to yourself, others and damage to property.
Before using any equipment make sure it's in good working order first.
Broken equipment can not only adversely affect your work but also pose a huge safety hazard.
Respect the chemistry, check your apparatus and that includes glassware.
Keep an eye out for broken edges or cracks,
as once the glass is put under the stress of heating or a vacuum
you run the risk of *crack* and no one wants that to happen, do they?
Another potential hazard is mobile phones. Not only can they cause a distraction
but they also have an irritating tendency to emit loud noises at
inopportune times so check your laboratory's policy on mobile phones
before bringing yours along.
A tidy lab is a safer lab and that includes the walkways.
Boxes and trailing cables can cause serious tripping incidents.
Similarly, cluttered or untidy work areas are a bad idea too.
Keep your workspace clear and clean up spillages immediately.
Leaving splashes of various chemicals around is risky business
Any bottles you use should also be labeled
clearly with both the contents and your initials to prevent unnecessary confusion.
No matter how peckish you are never ever eat in the laboratory.
You never know what the surfaces or your hands could be contaminated with.
Certainly not something you want to ingest. This is how super villains are made you know
and there you have it. Follow these simple laboratory rules
and you'll greatly reduce the risk of hurting yourself or someone else.