Hey guys, today I am here making a video thanking you,
each and every one of you. And this is one of those videos where I do this all the time,
and you probably guessed it from the fucking title, but I have just reached 50,000 subscribers.
Let's take a minute here okay, maybe not a minute because no one will keep watching,
but I ... am filled with emotion.
From up and down, to middle, to squiggle to cry.
I am everywhere right now, and I don't know how to describe it and explain it.
For the weeks leading up to this, I have been looking at that number like, "I am so close."
And, it's such a huge achievement for me. And it's weird, because every time I get to a 10,000. 20. 30. 40.
I always feel like, "That's it, I'm good, I'm fine."
But now, because I reached 50,000 it's like, "It's here!"
Everything I have dreamed of is here.
Ehhhh, not everything. There's still one more thing that I would like, and that's really to reach 100,000 subscribers
because I want that fucking YouTube plaque. [laughs]
But, I just think it's so cool that I'm here, like 50,000. It's good.
And, honestly, as I'm making this video, I'm thinking of my friends that, like Ty, who has like fucking 135,000. Stuff like that.
A part of me is like, "Yeah, but 50's not a lot," but like, I need to stop putting myself down,
because I work my ass off on this channel. Like literally work my ass off.
Like I, literally, okay, filmed like 7 videos before going on this road trip, to make sure that my channel was still running, while I was road tripping.
And stuff like that so... It's really important to me because this channel and I have a relationship
I'm so fucking lonely, but I have this channel, and I have each one of you to make me feel not lonely.
[laughs] How fucking sad is that?!
Do you still love me? I want to pick up Beauty, but she's white, and I'm wearing a black shirt, and her puss hair is going to get all over me.
But this is a short video, lol short video for Chase, what is that like 12 min
instead of like 18? *hmm*
But it's a short video trying to just explain how grateful I am to each and every one of you
It's not that I want to be popular and famous. And I always say this, because it's true
I think about this a lot. I don't want to be famous and popular and get known in the street.
That is so nice. It is a nice perk to have.
And people recognize me and want to take pictures with me. It's awesome.
I just want people to have access to the information that they don't have access to right now.
And I feel like my channel provides a lot of good information in a different way of explaining it.
Because I'm funny and I talk a lot about "sec" (sex) things, like I do a lot of reviews for sex toys
For sex toys.... Yes for the sex toys,
They're like in a room, smoking cigarettes, and they're just like "mmm, mmhmm."
Stupid. What kind of analogy was that?
But you guys make my days better honestly, no matter how how depressed I am
if I wake up in the morning and I don't want to get out of bed, the only thing I look forward to is making videos.
Uhmm, I am a lot better now. Mental health update coming your way soon!
But I do feel like I have a bigger purpose now. I feel like that I have people that rely on me, but in a good way.
And I will be honest with you, I have felt a lot of pressure in the last couple of weeks
about answering all of the messages that I get, but I realize that I need to take care of myself
before I can take care of other people. I also provide information as much as I can
as always, and I'll answer the messages that I can, but if you watch my mental health update
you would understand that I need some time to focus on me right now before I am able to focus on you.
And that's selfish, and I feel so fucking guilty, but I really need to stop feeling guilty about
everything. I'm working on a lot of issues right now, but that's not what this video is for.
Let's rewind back, alright, to like 3 years ago when I got the chalk wall,
and I reached 10,000 subscribers, which is when I got this tripod and i got this camera
I remember making that video and just reaching 10,000 and crying,
because like, how did i reach that number?!
It just didn't seem like it was real.
And the fact that now I have 50,000 and I've grown so much over the last couple of years
I can't wait to be able to share my life with so many other people, because my videos range from so many different things.
Some people just they, you know, their shtick is that they're like musicians,
and some of them are just like talking about trans things. Fuck man I do everything.
Like, what am i doing with my life? I don't even know! I just make videos about random...
I make videos about dehydrating bananas. I make my vlogs. I talk about running.
I talk about mental health. I talk about me. Always about me. I talk about you.
If you have topic suggestions you'd like me to talk about, please, send them my way,
because I am open to that! I am so excited to like help people and do it through videos,
because that's to medium I'm most comfortable with. Uhmmm...
I'm excited to run the New York Marathon and raising money for that organization
that I am raising money for, Harlem United,
sorry, Minou is like trying to get out of a box right now and like interrupting the video.
Anyways, raising money for that organization, it just gives me such a purpose to run,
and it feels so great that all these people have like actually been donating
obviously the perk to donate is you get a skype session with me, which a lot of people wanted to do
so they're doing that, but for the people who are actually donating
Okay, I need to help Minou out of this box, because he looks like he's gonna die.
You know what he was doing?! He literally was just going up and down so that he could
move the box, whatever, the lid of the box. Cause he's a freak-a-leak. He's just like his papito.
Like me, OOO!
Alright, that's all okay. I'm sorry that this video wasn't long or any thing like that.
I don't really know what to say in these videos. I feel like I just have so much emotion
but I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. You guys are awesome.
And, uhmm, I can't wait to spend more time with you, and engage with your comments,
because I do reply to a lot of comments, and twitter.
I do reply a lot on twitter, uhmm, which is awesome because it's like a small, little, like
it's a small place where there's like, I'm okay to like reply to people, because not many people
message me on there, like tweet, not DM or whatever.
Oh my god, Minou is in a box and Beauty just like walked near him, and his ears went down like this,
and he's like, "You goin, you gonna cut somebody"
[kisses] Like literally, like "don't you dare touch my box"
OH SHIT! Jesus! Oh shit! Oh Minou! Oh Beauty!
He scared us! He scared us so much! We're so weak!
Beauty says thank you. Look at her! She loves the camera.
She loves the light. She likes to be... oh don't put your paw in my mouth, I don't know where it's been.
I don't know where your hands have been, you're so dirty.
Okay, no Beauty, you're gonna hurt me.
And what did I say about the puss hair everywhere?!
Okay, I'm sweatin' like a pig, I need to open that window again and turn off these lights,
because I am melting! But thank you so much for joining me on this journey!
This gender journey. Please continue watching, keep subscribing, keep liking the videos, keep sharing them
And, uhmm, again like thank you so much. Trying not to feel guilty about things is really hard.
But that's my, that's my goal, that's my goal. Yeah. Yeah.
If you have any topic suggestions, seriously please, put them down in the comments
right now, and I'm going to look at all of them. I write down lists, that's what I do.
I write down lists, and then I binge make my videos, and then I post them throughout the month.
So that's what I do, and if you have any topics that I have not talked about before
that are not super research dense, because I do have a lot of those that are coming up
about bottom surgery, but those are, that's later on. Uhmmm, then let me know.
And the Trans Enough Project will be up, uhmm, there's a lot of parts to it, so you just gotta deal with
a little bit of waiting. Tease ya a little bit.
Have a great week! Love you! Thank you again! Bye!