-We have to talk about those boys in the cave, dude.
-Now, these are the Thai boys in the cave?
-Yes. Did you guys talk about that at all?
Can you believe that story?
Ask me anything about that story.
-Oh, are you fully up to date?
-I can't stop reading about that story, and it keeps going.
-Like, what's happening now? -Oh, what's happening now?
Oh, only the boys shaved their heads,
and they're going into a monastery
to honor the diver that died.
They're going to go to a monastery now.
-Oh, my God. -It's the most amazing story.
-How many kids was it?
-That I don't know. [ Laughter ]
I don't read the fine print.
-Well, you're not about, like, numbers.
You're feelings. -Yes.
They all got out. -Yep.
-They had to -- I'm gonna talk about this forever.
They had to be sedated. Did you know that?
-No. Before they went --
-I mean, you seriously didn't know that?
Why didn't you read this story?
-I was so worried it was gonna have an unhappy ending.
-I'm only talking about it
'cause it was a happy ending, of course.
I would never talk about it if it was a sad ending.
-So, they sedated them before they took them back?
-Yes. They put them to sleep.
They don't even remember getting traveled in the water.
Can you imagine?
And they were asleep, and there was a diver next to them
just watching them to make sure everything was going fine.
And it took hours, dude.
And it was -- The tunnel was like an "S."
So, at one point, they couldn't -- It's --
-They say that's, of the letters,
the worst one for your tunnel to be.
-And -- Wait. Oh!
And the coach that brought them there...
-Mm-hmm.
-...which, you know... [ Laughter ]
-Yeah, there was an outcome where he was not a hero, yeah.
-But he had studied to be a Buddhist monk
and he taught them to meditate to conserve energy.
So they all learned to meditate in the cave.
♪ And they lived off of rainwater ♪
Why isn't every --
-I heard the coach -- I did hear that the coach
didn't eat any of his food.
-Yes. He gave away his food. -Yeah.
-Ugh! -I mean, I guess you...
-I don't know why you don't talk about this every night.
Don't do any jokes about Trump.
Just talk seriously about this story,
'cause it never ends.
-Yeah. -It's amazing.
-Well, I remember, we were -- A very similar story.
We were working at "SNL" when the Chilean miners --
-Oh!
-That was another story that -- You loved that story.
-'Cause they all got out. -Yeah.
-And remember the Chilean miners?
Ask me anything about the Chilean miners.
-Well, I remember there was one Chilean miner
who, like, loved the camera.
Do you remember that?
-He got a little popular.
-And then I think we wrote a talk-show sketch
where Fred was that miner.
And then the band was, like, the other 31 miners.
I can't remember what it was. -Yeah.
And America never saw that sketch, right?
-No. Didn't see that. -No, no.
-I think I might have also written one where
there were 31 miners went in and 32 came out.
[ Laughter ]
I think that's maybe all I had, but --
-Was the 32nd miner Horatio? -Yeah, probably.
-Yeah, yeah.
-He was just a guy who lived down there.
He lived in a cave and then he saw that as his chance out.
-That should have been on the air.
-By the way, you know about what happened to Horatio today?
Our friend Horatio Sanz. -What?
-I think he became an American citizen today.
-[ Gasps ] Are you kidding me?
-I think that truly happened today.
Give it up for Horatio Sanz. [ Cheers and applause ]
-America is better for it.
-We'll have to fact-check that, of course.
-We'll have to have a party for him.
-Yeah, we have to have an American party for him.
-Oh, that's wonderful. -That's great news.
-I mean, it's no Thai boys in a cave, but it's --
'Cause it's one person.
-No, I would say, like, if you had to choose,
at a dinner party, what to bring up,
either Horatio becoming an American
or the Thai boys, you would talk about --
-I am not kidding when I've just been talking nonstop
to people about it, and it's been weeks now.
-Yeah.
-It's kind of over as a story,
but it's just beginning...for me.
-You're just starting?
-They're entering a monastery now.
-Oh, no.
What if they get trapped in the monastery?
-Trapped in the monastery. They won't, they won't.
-They won't get trapped? -They would never.
-And then the divers have to get them out of the monastery.
'Cause they only -- They're only comfortable with the divers,
so even though there's no water...
-They're like, "You're the man I trust."
That would be --
They've got to check those doors, make sure they --
-Well, 'cause I believe most monasteries in Thailand
do have, like, the hallways like an "S."
-Do you know -- And you know what?
Elon Musk... -Oh, great. I want to hear this.
Well, Elon Musk sent a submarine.
-Yeah. Period. The end.
You know the guy that's always like, "I'll help,"
and it's like -- And he brings out some stupid tool
or something or, like, "unclogs your sink,"
by, like, taking it apart?
Like, I used to live above a bunch of meth-heads in Chicago,
and, one time, they were like, "We're gonna fix your sink."
And they just took it apart and they left for like two weeks.
That's what it felt like. [ Both laugh ]