You're button mashing - look at you!
Huh? I'm not button mashing bro, I'm just playing good.
♩ The Hitman (Dream Team Remix) by Marvellous Cain ♩
I'm slapping you up like I clapped your mum's cheeks last night.
You brought jokes yeah?
How you gonna talk when Ken got his toes in your mouth?
Announcer: "KO!"
Shit.
Look at that.
Cheesy toes to face bro,
cheesy toes to face!
Waguan?
Waguan.
Ohhhhh!
Street Fighter yeah?
Oi man used to be the king of this game back in the day.
Is it?
About is it!
Move man, move man.
Eh look,
I was elite you know!
I used to play with um, what's his name...
The only brother in the game.
What D.J.?
Yeah D.J. man, that was my guy bruv.
You only knew how to play with one character?
Tsk. No!
Obviously, I had levels with all of them.
Blanka...
Chun-Li...
M. Bison!
Look, I took stripes.
They were going to send me to jail for what I was doing to my boys in the game.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Prove it.
Hey, your little girlfriend is mad aggressive you know?
What's his problem?
Pussy.
What did you just say?
Tsk... Alright pause the game real quick, pause the game real quick.
You won't play, cause you know I'll smack you up innit,
so you're a pussy.
Ouuuu...
You bocat your mum with that mouth bruv!?
So play innit.
I can't.
I've got a date.
Something that you two little virgins
don't know nothing about.
Wet.
He he he...
Ahhh...
I see what you two are doing.
You think I'm stupid innit?
Whatever man.
Announcer: "Ouch! No one could walk away from that!"
Announcer: "Now's your chance!"
Fuck these kids man.
Hey!
Shut up man!
Welcome to the jungle little man.
Announcer: "Choose your fighter!"
Announcer: "D.J.!"
Announcer: "Chun-Li!"
Announcer: "The battle has begun, anything can happen now!"
Announcer: "Fight!"
Announcer: "The fight has finally begun!"
Announcer: "Which one of these two will emerge on top?"
Announcer: "And there's the first hit!"
Announcer: "Here comes the counter attack!"
Announcer: "KO!"
Announcer: "Chun-Li Wins."
Announcer: "Is there any chance of a comeback?"
Announcer: "And the battle continues..."
Announcer: "Fight!"
Announcer: "Counter!"
Announcer: "Fantastic Combo!"
[Loud internal heartbeat]
Announcer: "Counter!"
Announcer: "Perfect!"
[Monstrous screams]
Announcer: "This is going to end in violence!"
Announcer: "Fight!"
[Screams of pain]
Woaaaaarrrrrrrrghhhh!
Announcer: "UNBELIEVABLE!"
Announcer: "The fear out there is tangeable"
[Savage screaming]
[Muffled cries of pain]
Announcer: "How much longer can this go on?"
Announcer: "K.O.!"
Announcer: "Perfect!"
Announcer: "Counter!"
Announcer: "Per-"
Announcer: "Perfect!"
Announcer: "Counter!"
Announcer: "This is utter
Announcer: and complete
Announcer: DESTRUCTION!"
[Clock ticking]
Guys, look at this guy!
You're so trash!
Look at your life bro haha!
You're so dog.
What you going to do now bro,
you're losing to a young boy.
Just go link your girl!
Just take the money.
Best Casio on the market G.
They didn't have no wings so I got you a side breast innit.
Announcer: "Perfect!"
(Internally) How you gna let this Pagan do this to you fam?
Announcer: "Clean hit!"
(Internally) Slow down. Just one win!
Announcer: "A devastating attack!"
(Internally) [Maniacal laughing]
(Internally) Just focus.
(Internally) He's setting traps bruv.
(Internally) Just hit him on the counter.
(Internally) You fucking wasteman!
(Internally) You got this bruv.
(Internally) [More maniacal laughing]
(Internally) You're a king.
(Internally) You're a k-
Look at this...
Yeah man, yeah man...
Man patterned £5 as well.
Hard still.
Aite. See you later man.
I'll catch you at school tomorrow.
Say nothing.
Yo Tobz.
[Ominous droning]
[Unsettling plucked strings]
Was it worth it?
[Uneven, stiffled laughter]
Where you going fam?
To brush my teeth. I have school tomorrow.
FUCK SCHOOL!
You think man's linking no gyal,
getting no wins,
and going to bed vexed?
Nah bruv.
But I'm tired.
Pick up the fucking controller!
[Crazed laugh]
I know what to do now.
You're in trouble now Mike.
You're in TROUBLE.
I know what to do now.
[Flies buzzing]
Ey you're in trouble right now Mike.
I'm gonna get that perfect, I know am.
[Crazed laugh]
Announcer: "Fight!"
You're so dog, you're so rubbish bro just -
(Off camera) Closer! Closer, closer!
Just go link your girl!
Hahaha!
(Off camera) Do that again! Do that again!
(Off camera) And... action!
Welcome to the playground little man.
Why did I say that?!
Haha!
-Man said playground... -The playground?!
[Laughter]
I'm sorry I'm sorry...
(Off camera) Keep going keep going, still rolling.
I see him smiling.
(Off camera) Take your time, settle.
Show us where you're going to be?
(Deadpan) Pick up the fucking controller.
[Laughter]
You bocat your mum with that mouth bruv?
(Insistent) You bocat your mum with that mouth BRUV?
[Laughter]
Oh my gosh.
(Off camera) Get your face next to his.
[Laughter]
Sorry.
Hahaha!
Sorry, it's getting on my nerves so much.
[Laughter]
(Off camera) That's good, that's good.
(Off camera) Action.
It's about to go DOWN little -
[Laughter]