(Upbeat funky music)
- We can't let the Blandoo Stabber outsmart us any longer.
- Don't worry, Chief.
I found a secret weapon, a dog with a speech impediment.
(Barks)
- Did he say Ruh-roh?
What is that?
- I think he's trying to say uh-oh, chief.
- Mr. Doo, can you see any patterns in the evidence?
(Barks)
Can we get a translator?
- Yes, we found this man in the parking lot,
eating a three foot tall sub.
- Like, zoinks, Scoob!
- Ruh-roh, Raggy, ruh-hihihi.
- God damn it.
(Upbeat funky music)
- Mrs. Smith, we've managed to stabilize your father.
- Doctor, I'm a horse surgeon, what happened?
- Mr. Sanchez appears to be suffering
from severe dementia and thinks he's a super genius.
- [Both] Yeah, we know.
- Wait, you've been enabling this?
- Well...
- Man, he had a heart attack
after he tried to swallow a screwdriver, whole.
- Well, you know what?
This looks like he's having so much fun with our son.
- Morty, sometimes I'm a pickle.
- Rick! - I'm a pickle, Morty.
Sometimes.
- That's great Dad, here have some calm down juice.
- Oh, (bleep) yeah
- Oh, Rick, no! (Rick moans)
- I'm calling social services.
(Upbeat funky music)
- Molly's a smarter Donatello, who also died.
(Maniacal laugh)
- Oh, no!
It's shredder!
- And in the middle of pizza time?
(Bleep)!
- You fight well, but tonight we finish this.
(Laughs)
Hi-yah!
- [Both] Argh!
Plastic straws!
(Upbeat funky music)
(Thuds)
- Argh!
Ha!
Aah, aah!
(Upbeat funky music)
(laughs)
- Stop right there!
- Who are you?
- [Everyone] We're accidents!
- Me too.
- [Everyone] Aww.
- That explains everything! - Me too!
- Come on, all you need is some TLC!
- That's okay. - That's what I need, TLC.
- You need some TLC. - Just a lot of them.
(Upbeat funky music)
- What?
I don't have a big mouth.
Do I have a big mouth?
Man, damn.
(Upbeat funky music)
- Happy birthday, Charlie brown!
You're going to be 18 in..
- [Everyone] 5, 4, - I'll finally get to know
what it's like to be an adult! - [Everyone] 3, 2, 1!
Happy birthday!
- (Muffled Chatter)
- [Both] Oh, man!
- I forgot that happens.
- (Muffled Chatter)
- Hey, all the kids that can still understand each other,
afterparty in my house!
- [Both] Yay!
- (Muffled Chatter)
(Upbeat funky music)
- It's time for you to go back to the gem home world.
Yeah, right.
I would never go back to the gem home world.
That's right, we have to protect Steven.
Huh, you guys really are my best friends!
Oh, what if you guys fuse to fight?
Oh, I would never fuse with someone like you
unless I became - Hey!
- friends later in the series.
- Hey son, what if we just played some sports
or maybe got our hamburger or something?
- You become this.
Oh, look out guys!
- Okay, I'll play with you.
- Hi, I'm Mr. Rock!
What if you did some normal things with your dad?
Yay!
- Dad, you're embarrassing me in front of my friends!
Ugh, come on guys, let's get out of here.
- Huh, boy.
When I had sex with a giant alien woman,
I didn't think parenting would be so hard.
(Upbeat funky music)
- So check it, I got this cat cam
so I can check on my cat while I'm away.
Oh, is he like tearing up your curtains and stuff?
No, actually it looks like him
and this mouse are sparring.
Where'd they get swords?
I don't own swords.
- Oh my God. How does your cat lay down
train tracks in your living room?
- Ugh, looks like the mouse is putting dynamite
in my cats butt again.
Pet parent problems am I right?
- Holy (bleep)!
That mouse just dropped an anvil
on the cat's head and he's fine.
He's got little cartoon birds
swinging around his head there?
- Yeah, I should probably get an exterminator for that.
- For the cartoon birds?
- Yeah?
- Not the rat in your house.
- Nah, he's cool, man!
He's got a sword!
- Oh my God.
He just used a scimitar to go tap, tap, tap to your cat
and fell down like a bunch of salami.
- Oh my God, he does look like a little sliced salami.
- Oh, little salami's a treat.
- Oh, a plate just got broken on his face.
He looks so flatten round.
- Oh no, he's used a rolling pin on his toe!
- Oh my God, look the mouse just ate some cheese
and now he's shaped like the cheese.
(Gasps)
- [Both] Oh.
(Upbeat funky music)
- Oh, come on.
I am not like a horse.
Are you saying I'm a washed up actor?
Oh my God, that's even worse!
Please, okay, I'm like a horse, right?
That's what the joke is.
(Bleep)!
(Upbeat funky music)
- Ooh!
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
No one, not anymore.
Not since over fishing has started to affect
every species in the ocean,
including SpongeBob and his fishy gang of friends.
But luckily we know how you can help,
by coming on down to Long John Silver's
for our two for one lunch special.
Long John Silver's, try to stop us piss baby!
(Television beeps)
- Ruh-ruh-Raggy?
- Like huh-huh-what?
- Ruh-I'm ruh-horny.
Like I don't know what you said.
- Is this real?
- This dog's face is coming out of his neck.
(giggles)
- He's sure that dog just said it was horny.
(Television beeps)
- Do you have like superpowers, anything?
- Yeah. - You do?
You did not mention this before, why didn't you use those?
- Why are you wearing a monochromatic dress with a belt?
- I'm wearing a monochromatic pants
(Television beeps)
- No, I'm calling social services.
- What the (bleep) was that, Morty?
- Oh, nothing, Rick!
- Shut the (bleep) up! - Okay, Rick!
- [Doctor] Damn it, they put me on hold.
- Peg me, Morty.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Sorry, I get crazy when I, the gogo juice.
- It just sounds so much like him.
(Television beeps)
(Everyone humming)
(laughing)
- That was perfect, that was good.
(Television beeps)
- You are just a bunch of piss babies!
And you know, what do we do with piss babies?
We feed them fish!
(Television beeps)
- I'm sorry.
(Television beeps)
- You need some TLC.
It's okay, tears are waterfalls.
- All right, well, I'll see you later.
- Yeah, in jail. - Goodbye.
- You still robbed a bank.
You still robbed a bank so I'll see you,
- No, I'm just going to go, - No.
- You don't have to do that, I'm just going to go.
- No, you're still robbing.
- No, it's okay. - Return the money.
Return the money please.
- I'm just going to take this and go.
- Okay, so we got to kill him.
- I'll see you guys later.
I'm going to see you guys later.
(Laughter)