They say the INFJ gaze can pierce through someone’s soul.. usually without the INFJ
even realizing they’re doing it.
Yet, when it comes to engaging in conversation and focusing on the sentences they’re trying
to form through their whirl-wind of thoughts and ideas, eye contact can be all too distracting
to maintain..
So, what’s the deal with the INFJ personality type and eye contact?
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Alright, let’s get right into the video starting with..
Number 1: When they’re focused on their internal, eye contact comes second
With deep, elaborate and distracting inner psychological complexes, the INFJ not only
listens with keen interest, but their introverted intuition also requires them to take a step
back and process the uptake of information on the spot.
While this process allows them to give genuine and empathetic advice, it also makes it difficult
for them to give quick replies of their preferred quality.
This all becomes even more difficult when they feel obligated to maintain adequate eye
contact.
So, when INFJs find themselves in a deep and engaging conversation, they may intermittently
look away more often than normal, stare off into the distance or even begin to fidget
as their minds are going a mile a minute.
In fact, it’s usually easier for the INFJ to really immerse themselves when their eyes
and hands are kept busy.
Although they may look disengaged, this actually means they couldn’t be more engaged, and
that they feel comfortable enough to use their natural processes.
Number 2: Sometimes they can get caught up in trying to maintain proper social etiquette
Now, as much as the INFJ may subconsciously avoid eye contact in certain scenarios, they
can definitely make it a priority when it’s needed.
This is where the struggle of concentrated and unnatural eye contact comes into play.
When it comes to job interviews, important first impressions, and other social priorities
that require proper eye contact, INFJs will make it a conscious point to look someone
in the eyes.
Yet, because it’s so unnatural to them in these scenarios due to their extroverted feeling
and sensing functions requiring the utmost observation of new people and surroundings,
their efforts to remain engaged while maintaining eye contact can really mix them up.
They may find themselves staring into the eyes of their ‘opponent’ to the point
of losing their train of thought, disregarding what the other person is saying or the worst
of all..forgetting to blink.
Which brings us to..
Number 3: They don’t want to make people feel uncomfortable
Aside from their conscious attempts at maintaining proper eye contact, the infamous INFJ stare
is unacknowledged to most INFJs until someone points it out to them.
And while this stereotypical stare is usually subconscious, once INFJs understand their
piercing gaze can in fact be intimidating and even creepy in some instances, they’re
able to take the precautionary measures to avoid it when they can.
However, this can put them in an even deeper predicament of avoiding looking people in
the eyes in order to make the other person feel more comfortable.
Due to their own experiences and because of this piercing gaze, they know that when they
lock eyes with someone who is immersed in verbal expression, it can cause them to fumble.
And the last thing any INFJ wants is for another person to feel uncomfortable sharing their
deepest thoughts with them.
Number 4: If they’re intimidated or attracted to someone things get weird
So, the INFJ personality type avoids eye contact in order to concentrate on their inner processing,
and sometimes to avoid making others uncomfortable..
Yet, what about when the INFJ themselves feels uncomfortable?
Sure, they’re known as the ‘extroverted introvert’ of the MBTI, thanks to their
chameleon-like social gift.
However, they can easily become a little less confident when faced with someone they fancy
or feel intimidated by.
In fact, according to an INFJ reddit forum based on how they interact with their crushes,
it’s common for this type to have their nerves get the best of them.
Not only is it difficult for them to maintain eye contact in these scenarios, but it can
be challenging for them to simply think of their normally witty replies in general.
INFJs of both genders claim it’s much easier for them to talk to people they’re not attracted
to or intimidated by in the slightest, and because of that, paradoxically, they may seem
aloof, unfriendly and unapproachable to these select people.
Number 5: They maintain the best eye contact when the subject matter is irrelevant
When it comes to social interactions, they say INFJs can’t stand small-talk.
This is especially true when there’s something deeper to be discussed.
However, this isn’t to say it doesn’t happen.
Whether it’s the chitter chatter at the staff lunch table, or the family gossip that
they really couldn’t care less about, contradictingly, in the eyes of others, INFJs usually seem
most engaged when taking part in rather surface-level conversations.
Although they’re usually slightly disinterested in the topic of conversation, it tends to
be slightly easier for them to act with social etiquette.
This is especially true in a larger gathering where they can follow the individual speakers
one at a time, without feeling obligated to contribute.
And while, depending on the topic of conversation, they may in fact be ignoring what’s being
said, distracted by their own imaginative ideas and thoughts, externally they’re usually
convincing others that they’re totally immersed.
Number 6: Discussing personal matters leaves no room for eye contact
Although the INFJ is already reluctant to sharing their personal details and internal
thought processes, even to those closest to them, it’s not to say it doesn’t happen
in rare instances.
And when this private personality type does find themselves in these occasional conversations,
they may find it more difficult to look someone in the eyes when sharing.
While this does have a little bit to do with the fact that they’re internally processing
the appropriate words to explain their internal feelings, their emotional attachment may also
play a role.
Since the INFJ is known for being rather disconnected to their own feelings, and more attached to
the feelings of others, when it comes to sharing their own internal struggles, achievements,
and experiences, it can become an entirely personal experience.
One that shuts off their obligation for social etiquette, as well as their curiosity for
the other person's reactions.
Number 7: They can get distracted by observing opposing body language
“Why are they tapping their foot?..
Are they wanting to wrap up the conversation?”..
“Are they folding their arms because they’re annoyed by the topic?”..
“Are they fidgeting and swaying due to their nervousness?”
With extroverted sensing at the root of how the INFJ interacts with the world around them,
this observational type is always subconsciously picking up on the subtlest of body language
to try and make sense of it.
In fact, whether they like it or not, most INFJs have the habit of trying to figure out
the unspokenness of an individual, and whether or not they’re enjoying the conversation.
The unfortunate aspect to this high-alert habit is that they can actually end up distracting
themselves from just simply interacting with someone.
Or even worse, make the other person feel uncomfortable because they’re too busy looking
at every other part of their body but their eyes.
The oddest aspect of this observational gift or curse, is that the INFJ can be blankly
looking someone in the eyes while they’re actually fully focused within their peripheral
vision.
Which brings us to our last point.. Number 8: Peripheral vision is much preferred
over direct eye contact
Speaking of peripheral vision, the INFJ’s curious and observant nature actually causes
them to utilize this human ability more often than most.
In fact, when it comes to passing strangers on the street, within the workplace, at social
gatherings or even within small groups of people, INFJs seem to rely on their entire
field of vision in order to observe passer-bys without initiating awkward eye contact.
They say eye contact shows power, confidence and even dominance, and in reality, INFJs
usually want to remain as unnoticed and behind the scenes as possible.
And because of that, this type has become quite experienced in observing others in the
least noticeable ways possible.
In fact, this can be a key factor in the challenge of over stimulation INFJ’s often come up
against, because they’re rarely focusing on one thing about a specific person, or one
person in a group of people.
Well PSYCH-Os, that’s it for today..
So, can you relate to these odd eye-contact dilemmas as an INFJ?
Let us know in the comments below!
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