[Dunk] Prior to Shenmue's release,
people in video games tended to look like a block of polygons
with a JPEG of a face, pasted onto their head.
If you were lucky the characters would look somewhat human in a pre-rendered cutscene.
So when my friend Neil booted this shit up on his Dreamcast back in 1999
It was like:
Oh, shit!
What?!
That...?!
That's the actual graphics?!
How is it doing that?!
How would they think of that?
Even today,
there are some impressive qualities about the game.
Like, how every NPC has their own routine and can be talked to.
[Ryo] "Hey!"
[Random Boy] "Hey, Mister!"
"Let's play baseball."
[Dunk] You can open individual drawers in a cabinet.
Uh...
You can...
Uh...
Get these capsule toys.
[Ryo] "Why so down?"
[Random Boy #2] "I think a good one is ready to come out of this capsule toy machine..."
"Ryo, please give me a 100 yen."
[Ryo] Sorry, I'm in a hurry.
"100 Yen each."
This is cool! (Bean the Dynamite from Sonic the Fighters)
[Dunk] But I think the most interesting aspect of Shenmue
is how it serves as a little virtual window into Japan.
You have Ryo's house that is all segmented by these sliding doors,
the toilet is built into the floor...
Like, I don't know what the fuck you do with that thing!
Every time he goes in the house
he has to take his shoes off,
outside they have a big Koi pond and a dojo,
the houses have these little plaques with the name of the family who lives there.
Then on the main strip, you've got Uh... Tom!
Who is permanently dancing in front of his hotdog stand.
I've never been to Japan, but I'm assuming this is all exactly right.
Especially the part with Sméagol... (Gollum)
[Chai] "*Laugh* Lan Di-sama...
[Dunk] You have this incredible soundtrack,
you have QTE sequences that are actually well made, (Quick time events)
you have clunky, but satisfying combat.
All of these elements should add up to a great game.
But...
They don't.
The primary gameplay of Shenmue consists of walking around
and asking people questions about stuff they usually don't know about.
[Ryo] "-You know any place where sailors hang out?"
"Do you know a guy named Charlie?"
"Did you see a black car?"
"Do you know where there's a pay phone around here?"
"Do you know where the antique shop is?"
"Mario..."
"Would you teach me some Italian?"
"Do you know about Nagai Industries?"
"Do you know anything about the Old Warehouse District?"
"Do you know anybody who's familiar with the harbor?"
"Do you know of a cheap way to travel overseas?"
[Dunk] As you've probably noticed,
the voice acting is REALLY...
Really good.
It's honestly the most entertaining aspect of Shenmue.
[Rena] "Bastard!"
[Yumiko] "I'm gonna kick your ass!"
[Dunk] But what kills this game for me
is how you're constantly forced to just wait around
for the next thing to happen.
There was a part where my only objective for that day was to go to the tattoo parlor
and talk to the guy who runs it.
So I get there...
[Ryo] "It's closed"
So, now I have to wait until 2:00 p.m. for it to open,
And I mean, look at my watch!
It takes a while for time to elapse in this game.
So finally, the store opens...
[Charlie] "Tomorrow at 3"
"wait at the arcade."
[Dunk] Fuck you!
So now I have to walk home,
go to bed-
Oh, wait! It's not late enough for me to sleep yet!
So, now I just stare into a corner until it's 8:00 p.m.,
go to sleep,
get up at 8:30 and wait until 3:00 p.m.
so I can play the rest of the game.
This is dog shit game design.
[Ryo] "Excuse me"
[Dunkey as Ryo] "I'm looking for some gameplay."
[Woman] "I'm sorry, but can you ask me later?"
[Dunk] It's a shame this remastered version just straight-up broke on me before I could get to the good part of the game
where you get a job as a Forklift driver and have to go to work everyday.
Shenmue is a unique experience
and a piece of gaming history
but it's also probably the single greatest example of how willing gamers are, to overlook solid game design
in favor of impressive technology.
It isn't a fun game...
but, it is funny.
[Harry] "Bye bye, boy!"
[?] "Bye bye."
[Dunk] Now, Shenmue 2...
has a feature where...
You can race ducks
against a penguin.
That's how you make a game!
[OUTRO]