- Welcome to Smash.
I'm Ian and I wanna go home.
Look, I love parties just as much as everyone else
but there comes a point when I don't want to be here anymore
and I don't know how to leave.
So that's why I brought my friends together today.
And we're gonna show you exactly how you can leave a party.
Let's do this.
♪ Let's do this ♪
- Arasha? - Uh.
- Jackie? - Ian.
- [Ian] Damien. - Hi-yah.
- So we are all here
at Spencer's very special birthday party.
As you can see, Spencer is over here in his throne.
His party theme is Keanu Reeves.
Very cool party, Spencer.
- Yeah.
- We all want to get the (beeping) out of here.
Did we all bring solutions to get out of this party?
- I sure did. - I did, yeah.
- I brought one too.
- Okay. - Nice.
(hands slapping)
- I feel like you're gonna sell me on an MLM right now.
- I could.
You wanna be a boss babe?
- That's all I've ever wanted.
- You already are.
- Wow.
- Aw, thanks.
- [Arasha] Don't say that. - This feels weird.
- It does.
This is a really bad interaction.
- This is how we get out of a conversation.
(everyone laughing)
- This is why we need to know how to leave a party.
- Absolutely.
- I mean, we just gathered all the
socially awkward people here today.
- Speak for yourself, my guy.
- Well, Arasha, why don't we start with your solution.
- Cheers. - All right, cheers.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
- [Ian] Best of luck to ya.
- [Arasha] Oh, please. - I don't drink.
- Star wipe. (upbeat music)
- All right, look.
We all know clearly what it's like to be at a party
that is absolutely dead.
- Yep.
- And I mean dead.
- Okay. - All right.
So whenever you're at that party
you definitely don't wanna leave too early and be a jerk
but you also don't wanna stay.
So you know what you do?
You become the life of the party
and then you die.
- [Damien] Oh, okay.
- Guys, listen, this has been so much fun.
Actually, it hasn't, let's bounce.
- Yeah, definitely.
First we should grab some of that cheesy bread, though.
- Mm yum, cheesy bread, yes.
Mm, this looks good.
- Grab that piece of cheesy bread.
- Good, super cheesy, right? - Yeah.
- Yeah, awesome.
- Oh, no!
Gluten!
(friends groaning)
- Oh my gosh.
Oh no.
- Arasha!
- Oh my God!
(flat line beeping)
- You know, gluten is the number one killer of Gen Z.
- 6,000 people die of gluten every day.
- That's one person every 87 minutes.
- Have you checked on your friends?
Have you checked on what they're allergic to?
- 1% of people have celiac, and there's a hundred bodies
in this room right now
which means one of us has celiac
and it's a Arasha and she's dead.
- My best friend in the whole world is dead.
- My best friend
in the whole world is dead
because of gluten.
- My sister in this world, is dead
because of gluten and its byproducts.
- Arasha and I were so close that she told me things
that she would never tell anyone else in this room.
(everyone laughing)
- Gluten does not receive any of the effects
thanks to the medical world.
- What did she say?
- That's right.
(crowd laughing)
The next person who walks in this room
probably will have celiac.
- And they will probably die.
Scientists have proven that 89% of your time is spent
with friends.
Have you checked on those friends?
- How well do you know each other?
Because you don't want to end up like us
and have your friend die.
All because Angela suggested we eat cheesy bread.
(Jackie laughing)
- Bread. - Bread
- [In Unison] is is whack.
- Wow.
(crowd laughing)
- [Angela] Let's get the (beeping) outta this party.
- You guys wanna go bowling?
- Yes, I'm drunk as (beeping).
- Oh my God, I'm so trash.
Let's drive.
(crowd laughing)
(people talking simultaneously)
- [Ian] She lives.
(crowd clapping)
- And then, just like that
I'm out.
- That was incredible.
- Thank you.
- Question, are you gonna bring a body bag
to every party you go to?
- Absolutely, come on.
(Jackie sneezing)
Where, how else am I gonna bless you?
- Thank you.
- Where did you get all that bread?
- I got another body bag.
- I don't wanna end up in a body bag.
- I'll leave space for you to breathe.
- I don't want to get in that body bag.
- I have a question.
Spencer, were you fooled?
- No.
- Spencer says, no, he was not fooled.
- Your original pitch was
you gotta become the life of the party and then die.
- Right.
- And then you turned around and said
let's get out of there and then died.
So your version of becoming the life of the party is
suggesting to people that you leave.
- Well, actually, those were my friends.
They were already a part of the situation.
So the life of the party stuff
actually comes before you do the whole plan.
I didn't need for you guys to see me become
the life of the party
because obviously, I already am the life of the party.
- I personally did need to see you be the life of the party
and it would really help me to bring this alive.
Maybe do the worm.
- Yeah, can you do the worm?
Give us the worm.
- [Chanting In Unison] Give us the worm.
Give us the worm.
(crowd cheering)
- [Ian] Okay, she started strong.
- [Jackie] Yeah.
- And this is, that's more like the
that's more like the trout that found its way onto the-
- I'll take it.
- I think that that actually works.
You could do the worm
immediately becoming the life of the party
and then just die at the end of the worm.
- That's what's cool.
You, at any time you can backflip
but only about a quarter of the way
and just be good. - It's pretty good, guys.
Thanks for your feedback.
- Hey, no worries.
You kind of killed that, nice.
- I killed it?
- No.
(Jackie yelling)
(upbeat music)
- Hello, my friends.
- You may not realize this
(Jackie laughing)
but I actually get invited to a lot of parties.
(Jackie laughing)
My social battery, however, gets drained very, very quickly.
What I do when I go home is then play games
like Metal Gear Solid.
A game that focuses entirely on stealth
making me therefore so stealthy
that there are many compilations of YouTube videos
of people missing my high fives and fist bumps.
- That's true.
- So I will be using the skills I learned
in the video game series Metal Gear Solid
to escape this party.
Guess I'll just stand here for a minute.
Talking to the whole party.
- Damien, thank you for coming to my party.
- Oh, of course, birthday boy.
I wouldn't miss it for the world.
It's good to see you.
- It's great to see you.
- I like the way you're dressed.
- Thanks.
(phone ringing)
Oh, sorry, hold on, one second.
I gotta take this.
Colonel, it's me.
What's up?
- [Colonel] Come in, Snake, I mean Damien.
We've just received word that there's a much cooler party
down the street with much better goodie bags.
- How cool of a goodie bag are we talking?
- [Colonel] We're talking full size candy bars
and a Magic The Gathering booster pack in each one.
- I'm on my way.
- [Colonel] Good luck, Snake.
- Hey, look, Spencer, keyboards.
(crowd gasping)
(intense music)
(gun firing)
(Angela yelling)
(gun firing)
- Oh, hi, oh hey Damien.
Wow, I sure am glad I ran into you.
I don't really know anyone else at this party.
- Yeah, all right.
I just, I really gotta get going here.
- Yeah, yeah, well, I've kind of been going
through a lot and it's really meaningful that you're here.
My dog looks even weirder now.
- Yeah, I know, I see him.
Look, would you just like a hug or something?
- Oh, that would be really nice.
- All right, let's get you, let's get you a big old hug.
- Wow. - And then just, here you go.
Ready for the hug? - Ow!
- And gotcha!
- I'm knocked out now.
(beeping noise)
- Colonel, I got him.
- [Jackie] Oh, body back.
(intense music)
- Nice. - Wow.
(everyone laughing)
- Yeah, that's not sus, at all.
- Where did he go?
I didn't even see him leave.
- So you may not believe it
but I'm already done with my presentation.
- Whoa. - Wow.
(crowd applauding)
- It happened in that, in that little moment, right there.
- So we had similar ideas.
- I wanna know, why didn't you just get the real Garrett
and piano wire hem?
- First of all, it's not piano wire.
This is leather crafting stuff that I had
from when I was a leather craftsman.
It was only to take a grip.
Piano wire would do too much damage.
Snake gets more points if he doesn't kill.
That's why these were all tranq darts.
So everyone is okay.
There was no actual violence.
- What about the two party goers who were
still alive in traumatized?
- Yeah, they didn't notice.
They were engaged in conversation.
These three were watching me.
Did you see an exclamation point above their head?
I think not.
- Are you ever invited back to these parties that you-
- Absolutely. - Tranq people at?
- This was stealth level 100.
Nobody noticed what was going on.
I got a perfect mission score from Colonel.
- Okay.
- They were like, wow I probably just had too much gluten.
- Is he dead or is he tranqed?
- He's just tranqed.
It's like in movies when you just choke people
and they're fine like 30 minutes later
and there's no lasting brain effects or nothing.
These three are fine, by the way.
They're, they just got tranqed.
They'll wake up soon, none the wiser.
- I don't know about this one.
His eyes have rolled back.
- Yeah, but that's just Shane.
It's been a long day.
It's 5:30 and he hasn't gotten his tummy rubs.
- Garrett too, he's good?
(crowd laughing)
- Garrett, no.
Garrett very much took some injuries.
I wrapped this around his neck real tight and pulled.
And tell you what?
When Josh adds sound effects to this later
y'all are gonna feel pretty silly
because it's gonna look really cool.
(Damien humming)
- Do you have that outfit
always, or like, is it underneath?
- A few of these things I brought from home, yeah.
Yeah, very much so.
- I knew it.
(crowd laughing)
- Oh look, the tranq dart is wearing off
further proving my point that everything is fine.
(upbeat music)
(Ian laughing)
- Party time.
The party starts now.
Guys, check it out.
I freaking went to the hotel across the street.
You know, I was a little hungry
and I thought I'd bring something for everybody.
I freaking stole one of their dining carts
when the guy was gone.
We got food for everybody.
Check it out.
We got some fries and a half eaten burger.
It's a good time.
Jackie, I know you want some of this, come on.
- Can I eat it?
- Yeah, you can, yeah, yeah.
- Can I eat it?
- Just a fry, probably not the patty.
It's a little bit old, but.
- [Person Off Camera] It explodes.
- It's a fry!
Let's get this party going, everybody!
Come on, Arasha, Damien, come out here.
Come out here.
I just want to explain to you guys, okay
they didn't allow me to take this.
I just grabbed it and ran
and I think I might have seen one of the guys following us.
So, can we all agree that if they track us back here
and ask where this went
you tell them you don't know where it is?
- Absolutely.
- Because at this point you're all complicit.
- Yeah. - Okay?
- Yeah, okay.
- All right, let's all enjoy this food.
(Ian laughing)
You guys.
Yeah.
- Can I eat more fries?
- Hey.
You stole my room service cart.
- What?
- Where is it?
- I don't know, where.
Have you guys seen it?
- I haven't seen it at all.
(crowd talking simultaneously)
- Did you find the cart yet?
Where's the carts?
- Not yet, not yet.
- This is the third cart you've lost this week.
What the (beeping) is wrong with you?
- I'm so sorry, sir.
- I would write you up if I thought you could (beeping)
read, you idiot.
- Sorry?
- Yeah, that's (beeping) right.
I see the way that you look at my wife.
- What? - Yeah.
- What are you talking about?
- You're (beeping) my wife.
That's what I'm talking about.
- Well, maybe I am (beeping) your wife.
Some one's gotta do it.
- Okay, all right.
You know what, my (beeping) isn't the only thing
that doesn't work cause you're (beeping) fired.
- What?
You're can't fire me.
- Yeah, I can.
Okay, hey, who should (beeping) my wife, him or me?
Come on, be serious. - Yeah, which one?
- Who should (beeping) my wife, him or me?
- Him, him.
- I can't, you all are horrible people.
This is (beeping) ridiculous.
You're (beeping) fired.
Don't (beeping) forget it.
- Oh, hey.
This is the cart.
Hey, wow, okay.
Everything's all here, yeah, wow.
All right, everybody.
Sorry to have interrupted you.
This party looks really fun.
It's like, what is that?
I don't know what this theme is.
Oh wow, right on, yeah, take it easy.
Sorry again everybody, looks like there's drinks, enjoy.
See ya.
Que the music.
- Are you (beeping) his wife?
- [Room Service Man] Yeah, maybe.
(man laughing)
Okay.
(crowd clapping)
- Yes, that was pretty great.
- That was pretty slick, okay.
- Oh, hey, what's up guys?
- [Damien] Whoa, Ian you missed it.
- Dang. - Did something happen?
- There was this crazy fight between two guys.
- No way.
It couldn't be that I paid those guys to pretend to be
hotel workers and then distract you
while I got into the cart.
That didn't happen, now did it?
- King (beeping), wow, love it.
- So, there was no wife?
- Well, I don't know.
That's between them.
- Those were fantastic actors.
- Yeah, I, there's some, there's some background with them
that I didn't plan for.
- I like those uniforms, too.
- Yeah, honestly, that uniform is pretty nice.
(Jackie laughing)
- Really flattering.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, and then you have to buy
you do have to buy the cart and the linen.
- You didn't rent that?
- You didn't rent it?
Ooh, you are not the businessman, I thought.
- He needs it, constantly.
- I'm reusing it.
- [Jackie] Okay, okay.
- Every weekend I'm using this.
- That's an investment. - [Ian] Yeah.
- I will say, I was got.
- You got got?
- I was distracted.
- Yeah, she was got!
(crowd laughing)
- Cause I was like, oh my gosh, a scene.
- I know, there's so much drama.
- Wait a minute!
- There's so much drama.
- I know, I know.
- I very politely did not turn around to the cart.
- No, I was locked in.
- It was, it was, well good
cause it was not a graceful entrance.
I was like.
- Well, if we missed whatever was going to happen
between those two
I would've never forgiven myself.
- That's true. - Absolutely.
- I'm only proud, no notes.
- It felt like there was gonna be a slap coming
so I was ready.
- Yeah, or a kiss, you know.
- Ooh.
- Once the drama started
I would just slink back behind the cart
open the flaps and slowly insert myself into it.
- Gross.
- Why did you
(everyone laughing)
why did say, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
- You're losing me a little bit, now.
- You separate the folds.
- And then you.
- And then, slide it in.
- I wish you wouldn't do it that way, though.
- [Jackie] Yeah.
Well, did you at least like
get the process started A little bit?
Just so it was smooth.
- I made sure that it was nice and like
the curtains were nice and loose
for me to just, to just pull apart the entrance
and then just slowly insert myself.
- Did you ask first?
- I went head first always.
- Ian, I'm sorry
I saw there were a couple layers of tablecloths there.
Did you go through the
the tablecloth majors or menores?
- I don't wanna know anymore.
- I would like to know.
(upbeat music)
(Jackie sighing)
Well.
(crowd laughing)
- Yeah, let's take that one back.
- I say leave it in.
(crowd laughing)
- Well, I do love a party.
Sometimes you do need to make a fast exit.
Now, all the solutions you've seen thus far
it's been about how you leave a party.
But I was like, let's be different.
Let's be innovative.
I think the best way to leave a party
is to have everyone else leave the party.
I present to you, my idea.
My solution is fart perfume.
- Oh no, no.
- Imagine, walk with me.
Oh, I see a man over here in this corner.
Hello man, do you come here often?
No.
Oh, well, I am always here.
Oh, you should come here more often.
I'm just in town visiting my girlfriend's family.
Oh wow.
That's awkward.
Oh boy, gotta go freshen up.
And then I go over to the corner
and then I spray my perfume because I want to freshen up.
- [Damien] Don't put it anywhere near over here.
- Oh, a little bit over here.
(farting noise)
A little bit over here.
(farting noise)
Maybe a little under
(farting noise)
a little bit on the plant.
Maybe on the snacks.
(farting noise)
- Oh God, it just hit me.
- Yes, it smells so good, doesn't it?
(crowd moaning)
Yes.
Oh, yes.
What baby has been here?
What baby is here?
(crowd groaning)
Oh my gosh.
- [Arasha] Oh my God.
- Oh no.
Oh, goodness gracious.
Everybody has left the party.
Oh no.
Now it's just me here alone with the cheesy bread.
Mm, just like I wanted.
A life alone by myself.
(crowd laughing)
And that's the best way to leave a party.
- Okay.
(Ian stammering)
Real quick.
Okay, okay, let's make this quick.
Spencer, this is your party.
So Spencer, please choose the winner and fast.
(drum roll playing)
- I'm gonna give it to Ian.
- Let's go.
But let's literally go, I'm done.
I've got a video down below, bye.
- My bag smells like (beeping).
(Spencer crunching)