Anyway, this little bender gets kidnapped by the Slumdog Millionaire guy,
and then they find out that he is the real Avatar, and then they're like,
"Hey, don't run. I know we didn't restrain you, or anything."
And he's like, "Fuck that!"
[clip] Hey, yuh! Wuh! Wuuuuh!
[YMS] And then he kicks the shit outta some, some bitches.
And then he makes them regret not having taken his staff away, by turning it into a kite and jumping off the boat.
Even though we actually didn't have it in the last scene, and it really came from nowhere.
And then within visible distance of the ship, his new friends and his animal thing are waiting for him
[clip] Thanks for bringing Oppa to me.
[YMS] They didn't plan this; at what point did they agree that once he's on the ship, they would meet up at some random cliff there?
They weren't even gonna save them, and then they change their minds.
I don't know, this doesn't make sense.
If M, Night was trying to make a comedy, then he sure did a good job.
[dings when guard moves]
I mean, even if you've watched the animé, it doesn't make sense - which I haven't.
[clip] This was in your practice area.
[YMS] This movie has endless continuity errors, and some of the most impressively bad scene changes I've ever seen.
[clip] You think my son is this person the soldiers are calling the Blue Spirit?
Yes.
[YMS] It's almost hard to believe that these mistakes were accidental.
[dings when Aang blinks]
I mean, was he honestly blinking like that in all the footage you had for that shot?
Anyway, the fire dudes are coming on these boats, and they have fire on the boats so they can throw fire at these water dudes,
and these water dudes are like, "Oh, no! What do we do?"
And I'm thinking, "Just fucking throw water at them. They're in a boat.
You could put out the fire with your water powers, or you can tip over the boat."
And don't tell me they couldn't have done that, when they can do shit like this.
And then the Avatar's like, "BRB, meditation."
And then Slumdog Millionaire kid and this girl have a fight scene, while he's meditating, in the same room.
And she sucks so bad, that she can't see a ball of fire in her peripherals.
And then the fire dudes come in, because apparently the fish are the ocean spirit and the moon spirit.
"When the moon is full, the water dudes have more power, so we should kill the moon spirit."
So then, one of them kills the moon spirit, and the other one's like,
"No! I should have stopped you way back on the boat, when you told me you're going to do this."
And then somehow this girl gets hurt from that; liittle bender gets a headache; and the moon turns red for some reason.
Remember, kids. Kill a fish, goodbye moon.
And then for reasons I don't understand, the fire dude is all like,
"Wuh, hu, ug, sun tau. PAH!"
And they're all like, "Woah, he's making fire out of nothing."
And then the fire dude convinces this girl to basically kill herself to save the fish.
And he's all like, "You can give your life to it, and it'll be fine again."
She's like, "OK."
Wait a minute: if they're the moon spirit and the ocean spirit,
wouldn't the ocean spirit have done more damage to the Water People?
Like, I know killing the moon is supposed to make them weaker,
but what would killing the ocean do, isn't the ocean made of water?
The little bender go Super Saiyan and it's basically the end of the movie.
"Dur, huh huh, huh, huh huh!"
I think the best thing to keep in mind when watching this movie, is that it's a comedy.
Just watch it as a comedy, and you'll be fine. Enjoy the laughs, and thank God you're not one of the fans of the animé.
Unless you are. Then you're pretty much fucked.
So, even amidst the retarded story, terrible acting, and god-awful martial arts, there are still some classic scenes in the movie.
[clip] The ground is an extension of who you are.
[canned laughter]
If the Avatar had returned, would that mean anything to you?
The Avatar is dead. If he was here, he would protect us.
[canned laughter]
My name is Aang, and I'm the Avatar.
[canned laughter]
I ran away, but I'm back now. It's time for you to stop doing this.
[canned laughter]
The Avatar would have to be an airbender. Are you an airbender, boy?
[canned laughter]
Leave him alone!
[canned laughter]
[applause]
How is he doing that?
I don't want to hurt anyone.
All airbenders should be dead. Kill him!
Firebenders, positions!
OK, everybody can help us now.
[canned laughter]
Don't be afraid.
[canned laughter and applause]
[canned laughter]
[applause]
Overall rating: legendary.
You know, one day, you know, I wanna look back and just see, um, every single movie of mine,
you know, that I'll...I could defend, you now? I, I wanna see, you know,
you know, when they do that kinda thing at some film festival and they show, you know, clips from all my movies.
I wanna be, you know, proud. Chin up, and staring and, and going "Yeah!"
Well, there you have it, folks: the official complete works of the legend M. Night Shyamalan.
And by official, I mean not counting those other ones.
Now, you may be asking, "What will his next film have in store for us? Could it possibly be worse than The Last Airbender?"
[clip] In an interview right after the Kids' Choice Awards, M. Night Shymalan said he's at big fan of the series,
even adding that he thought Catherine Hardwicke's version was tonally perfect.
[YMS] Well, that's not actually happening, but seriously, could his next film be worse?
Well, I was asking myself the same thing with The Happening.
How could I have known that it would be even remotely possible to pull off what he did?
This is history in the making. And no matter what the film looks like in the trailer, I'll be there in the best seats on opening night.
If there's an opening night showing.
And it would be a shame for all of you not to come, too.
[clip] My goal, as a filmmaker, is to make, try to make cultural phenomenons, you know.
How do y...how do you make that happen, you know? And, um, how do you get under the skin, an...and define a time and a place,
and really take your place in society, is that I affected you, you know.
People are still affected by the original Exorcist when they think about at that time period, and, um,
my mom and dad where in India, and they talk about how it affected them. It affected the world.
And the Godfather and all these movies. These are, these are movies that obviously became huge, gigantic box office hits,
but I'm talking about how it affected the culture, um, you know, and obviously Titanic, and all those movies.
How can you make these movies where the...it gets under everybody's skin?
And, that's the original goal. And you kind of forget about it, and you go make your movie after a while, but...
You can, in this day and age, you can take a mediocre film and promote it crazily, and get that. I think you can.
Gosh! We might have our cultural phenomenon.
[YMS] Wengh!
Subtitles by JorWat.