patrons I don't know where this syndrome has come from but it's not gonna say okay sir hi my name
is Lily in case you're here basically in my last couple of videos I told you guys I like opened up
about my life and I let everyone know that like I full-on failed uni like [ __ ] my [ __ ] all
the way up a lot of you guys have been telling me about your own struggles with uni in the comments
of my last two videos and people really came for me to make a video talking about like University
in general failing uni and like procrastination and all of this kind of [ __ ] so I was studying
like a diploma right that also turns into a degree you don't I mean bridging diploma we're all about
this because when you get a lo8 are this is your option you know as you can tell school
has never been my jam I've struggled with school since like I started year 12 was like one of the
hardest things for me I struggled so bad I'm gonna really bad at I got into something luckily when I
finished the year I end up with a diploma at the end of the year if I pass I can go into the second
year of a bachelor degree right so I'm not losing a year the theory was that I wouldn't lose a year
doing this thing yet I I lost a year anyway but you know that was my own fault so I need a sneeze
no I just went away but now I look like I'm crying I'm not crying about uni don't worry basically I
did a diploma of media and communications and then that would bridge me into the second year
of a Bachelor and then you can pick your major awareness ah here's the first problem really I
picked this cause cuz I'm like yeah I don't really know what the [ __ ] I want to do in my life I
don't really know what I want to study I have no idea so I'm just gonna pick the broadest thing
and then it will roll with that which turned out to be this one because in the Diploma we studied
all the core electives for each of the majors by the end of it you can go into any major you want
because you've already done the electives for the first two first year so I thought yeah that's cool
I can basically study them all and then I'll kick afterwards and I'll find out what I like much so
I passed trimester one I ended up failing two trimesters the last two which are the ones that
I'm going to repeat this year and then next year I'll go into YouTube my problem with failing was
like 100% my fault and it's not the fact that I was not smart enough or I was emitting shitty work
or whatever the [ __ ] I was getting really good grades on the work that I did submit the reason I
failed is because I didn't submit enough work and that's the thing that really like [ __ ] me up the
most now is because I much like if I've just done it all and done it properly like I could have had
really good grades and graduated my behavior he's both like [ __ ] me over in the end it wasn't my
quality of work it wasn't anything like this it was literally just me not submitting assignments
and the thing that makes it even worse is like my teachers knew I was a good student they knew that
I was smart enough and they gave me that many chances and that many extensions because they
didn't want to see me fail for something as Damas like just not submitting an assignment um but they
really like broke their backs trying to [ __ ] help me and like I still I just still couldn't
do it in the end the only things that I was able to like do on the deadline were group projects
it's one thing to not submit my own work and kind of screw myself over that way but I cannot
do group assignment work and to like screw up other people's grades like that is something I
can't have on my conscience so every time there was a group assignment I would always like it'd
be done even if I did it like the night before I would still somehow pull through for the the
day and needed to be done no matter what like that's the one thing that I could actually get
right and I think it boils down to accountability as well I think a big component of motivation to
do something is accountability this is something that I've went through this year if I don't have
some form of accountability so if I made the sense of accountability was with group assignment if I
don't do the work by this time I'm going to affect other people negatively it's not just
my problem anymore I'm making it other people's problems and I don't want to be that [ __ ] like
no one wants to be that [ __ ] I guess we'll start with the star to you so when I started my
course I started out fine like I was motivated if she kind of my problem was that I went to
university before I was ready like a hundred percent I had a gap here I already suffered an
off three or twelve and I knew I couldn't jump back into like a school environment right away
and do well I was like motivated and about it for the first trimester when everything was new and
exciting and you know oh my god I'm at uni I'm gonna do well I'm telling a new leaf oh my god
think of me yeah for that first semester for the work I submitted got really good grades towards
the end of trimester one that's when I started to kind of slip I remember the last couple projects
I needed extensions and I didn't have my [ __ ] together it was basically the beginning of the
end in the beginning I was like submitting work on time coming to every class if I was taking
notes as well I was doing them out and the results showed I got good grades I got really good grades
and then introduced the two I came back and this was when we started the process of moving house
I definitely used that as an excuse to not study I don't know the process of grieving I loved me
it like it was really disruptive I brought down to that because I thought like you know I'm not
motivated anyway to do this work here comes one like distraction so I'm just gonna latch on to
that semester to was also around the time when I just started going out a lot it got pretty bad in
some Institute the way it kind of works is like yeah we had deadlines for things but as long as
everything is submitted by a certain date you can still pass really chill like the fact that
I failed such chill class as well I had that many chances that much leniency that much leeway like
they pretty much made it like you have to be a [ __ ] [ __ ] to fail this close like I failed
three of them my teachers started to notice that I was like slipping yeah this is when I started
to like push things closer to due dates and then come and I'd be like literally like what's going
on now you're gonna submit the assignment or not so they were really willing to give me extensions
they gave me a lot of chances they kept being like okay it's fine like just submit it by next
class which would be the next week and I'm like okay yeah I'll have it done and then the next
class becoming their like Lily we really need you to submit like I'll give you another way
then there would be new assignments coming in that I would be not doing them either I've been
procrastinating doing them it got to a point where I had multiple backed up assignments for multiple
classes where I'd surpassed the due dates but I had like lots of assignment that would you that's
when it starts become really overwhelming like having all of these backed up assignments that
none of them were done and all of them were overdue I had nine assignments due and I had
one week to do them before I would like fail the classes what I decided to do instead this is where
my biggest fuck-up comes into play this whole time I had assignments due and all this type of stuff
I would just go out a lot I was just spending every night going out and getting drunk with my
friends yeah I had one class where I had like all of the work do for it and I just I did that and I
submitted that's the one that I passed the other classes I failed so I'm repeating them then comes
semester three they put me on an la Paix plan so like I could get extensions more easily if you
like the fact that they kept giving me extensions made me take the deadlines less seriously the more
extensions that they would give me the less it helped it's not like I wasn't caring either like
these deadlines would approach and I would feel like sick with guilt and I'd feel so bad about
not doing the assignments but I wasn't like doing them anyway like I don't even know how to describe
people who are normal and who like do University normally and they submit their [ __ ] assignments
on time like a good student they're probably gonna watch this and be like what the [ __ ] is
so hot like just submit these I'm just due to it I'm like I know right I know just do the work
[ __ ] I just couldn't do it I literally can't tell you why procrastination 100% was really
bad I was so bad at procrastinating I used to procrastinate everything up across net filming
videos I procrastinate reading I procrastinate doing my assignments I procrastinate little tiny
things I would [ __ ] procrastinate everything that it was so so bad and this is how I ended
up in this situation now so this is a habit that I try to keep to the code of this year talking
about New Year's resolutions this is probably the only resolution I have and it's to stop
procrastinating because I feel like if I can fix this one thing most of the other problems in my
life will resolve themselves as well anyway back to university so semester two found that try Nesta
2 was just like one constant painful struggle and then trimester 3 was basically where I just saw
myself give up completely I didn't come to like any of my classes I didn't even look at half the
assignments I didn't pay any attention in class I I feel like I just mentally checked out I didn't
see it as like a fresh start here's the thing it's it's so [ __ ] bad like when I tell you it's bad
it's bad they withheld my marks from the last from trimester to so that I still had the chance after
the break to submit the assignments and then pass me and I didn't [ __ ] do it like [ __ ] do you
want a degree on up again I can't really give you like a solid actual reason why because I
think the thing is when it comes to things like this there is no real genuine reason as to why
like people just don't get things done it's never like a valid reason it's always an excuse you see
students who are actually dedicated who actually give like a promise [ __ ] about their cause and
their grades even if something happens like an emergency or whatever they've got their
work done early they still will find a way to get it done if they get an extension they make
the most of it there is no excuse if you let it get to this point like it's your fault it's your
fault at least I'm not sitting here saying like oh yeah I failed because XYZ reason and it's not my
fault third like I take 100% blame like I [ __ ] up I learned a really valuable and expensive
lesson trimester three I basically just gave up completely let like all areas of my life just
kind of [ __ ] off I wasn't even posting on my youtube channel I lied to myself and was like oh
yeah I care about failing no I need a do the work on her but in the end like I would just I just go
out drinking and like I wouldn't give a [ __ ] so I really didn't care and like this is why I
say I wasn't ready to come back to school because I didn't give a [ __ ] about being there I didn't
want to take my course seriously otherwise I would have you know I went to uni not because I wanted
to go I went I went because I was told you take a year off school you got here whatever but then
you have to go back I feel like so guilty about it because you know I'm lucky enough to be born in a
country where hey I can't [ __ ] go to university we've got hex jets here I'm not gonna sit here and
explain how hex debts work like you can look it up if you want to but it's like so ideal I'm really
really lucky to be born in Australia and to go to university in Australia I know this and the
fact that I just like spent a whole year like [ __ ] off my cost all through the year I felt just
guilty I wasn't doing my work and then every time I was looking at an assignment I'm just
instead of feeling like okay I'm gonna get done I just look at it I'd feel like guilty it would
put me in like the worst mood and I'd beat myself up and I feel like you're [ __ ] [ __ ] you can't
even do this assignment I've had that long to do it you haven't done it what the hell is wrong
with you like do you know how many people would kill to like go to university I thought about
all these things and it just put me off wanting to do the work completely like I just feel like
complete [ __ ] and then I wouldn't even want to look at the assignment and this is how it went
like everyday so I think that was another huge thing feeling really guilty and then not doing
anything about it and then feeling guilty about not doing anything about it in the end I just was
like [ __ ] this like I'm just gonna go get drunk I don't even care like whatever really really bad
I feel like after this whole thing I realized I'm starting to like take more accountability for my
shortcomings you know it's up to me if I want to do well in school it's up to me it's in my hands
I have the ability to do well in school if I try I guess the main issues behind getting to this point
was having no accountability if I'm not screwing up anyone else it's just me I'm not affecting
anybody else I'm just affecting myself it's my own life [ __ ] off by not doing this so who cares so
I thought in that kind of mindset the second thing was procrastination the third thing would be such
an overwhelming sense of guilt it wasn't like guilt that motivated me to fix my situation it
was guilt that just like debilitated me and just put me you know mindset where I was like oh I'm
just [ __ ] I guess I'll just keep being [ __ ] I feel like now I have a little bit more boss I
last year I wasn't thinking about like my future at all I didn't really give a [ __ ] nowadays
I definitely am I'm thinking about like where I'm gonna be in life in like the next five six
whatever the [ __ ] he is and I'm realizing that like if I don't get my [ __ ] together and stop
doing it properly now then when am I gonna do it here's the thing I'm not gonna sit here now and be
like yeah I felt that I learned my lesson [ __ ] like I'm gonna go back to uni Negus yeah and I'm
gonna [ __ ] murder it and I'm gonna do so well and be motivated every day cuz you know what I'll
probably end up procrastinating at some point I'll probably end up like demotivated for uni I know
I will like I'm a human being [ __ ] I really don't want to fail again if anything at least
that's gonna be my driving force if anyone is in a similar kind of situation if you feel like you're
not motivated or you don't even know if you're studying like what you want to be studying you
don't have to go back to school straightaway like you can take a year off you can take two
years off in fact you probably should because you don't want to end up in a situation where you've
struggled through an entire year and then you end up failing or whatever the [ __ ] like I feel like
it would have been a better use of my time to have not gone to uni last year and to have just worked
or travelled or done something else because in the end I'm having to redo this year anyway it's
money that I've lost it's time that I've lost if you take away anything from this video it's it's
this don't go to school if you're not ready to go if you know you're not gonna take it seriously or
you don't or if you're just doing a cost because I don't really know what I study but I guess I'm
just gonna do this cuz [ __ ] it my advice would be maybe think about it a bit I'm not saying like
[ __ ] it off completely but you really need to understand why you're there otherwise you're gonna
continue to struggle and you're gonna continue to be demotivated and you're not gonna have something
that's gonna be your driving force when you're like not feeling motivated I think that was the
biggest thing for me I didn't really have anything pushing me forward despite what your friends and
family will tell you and like how the system normally goes you can take multiple years off you
can change your mind about what you're studying like do what you know is gonna be good for you
don't just do things to please other people and also it's there's no problem if you don't go to
uni at all like not everyone needs a degree not everyone needs to go back to uni straight away
like you can start uni at 30 years old forty years old like it really doesn't [ __ ] matter I feel
like we put so much pressure on people my age with uni in school and like figuring out the rest of
their life it's so [ __ ] stressful man like Jesus Christ now it's the time in life when you can
afford to like [ __ ] things up a little bit so I guess it's my advice to people watching this video
and especially the people who have been commenting on my other videos saying that you're in a similar
situation or you failed uni or so yeah that's kind of how things went for me yeah also if you
have a similar experience or you're struggling with uni like post in the comments I would love
to read them I guess that's it if you have any more questions ask them in the comments um yeah
thank you for watching thanks for giving a [ __ ] about my life I'll see you later with another
video I'm not really sure what it's gonna be about because you know I'm gonna be posting random ass
[ __ ] on this channel for a while if there's any kind of videos you want me to make or anything you
want to see specifically topic you're going to talk about or whatever comment section just ban
my comments with everything guys I'm really about it have a bright life until I see you next see ya