(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) I COME TO OFFICE OF LOCAL
REALTOR AND STAR OF "MILLION DOLLAR LISTING" DAVID PONDS.
>> WE ACTUALLY HAVE A SHOWING TODAY WITH A VERY BIG HIP-HOP
ARTIST.
>> James: THE SHOWER HAS PHENOMENAL ACOUSTICS
(RAPPING) LOOK AT THAT.
STILL NOT A GOOD COUCH, JAMES.
>> CHEERS.
>> James: YOU'RE WELCOME.
I WAS JUST GOING OVER THIS WITH DAVID.
WE ACTUALLY HAVE A LISTING PRESENTATION TODAY.
WE'RE GOING TO PRESENT OUR CASE TO THE SELLER TO SEE IF HE WANTS
TO GIVE US THE LISTING.
>> WE SHOULD SELL THE PROPERTY.
I THINK WITH YOUR CHARISMA AND CHARM, AS LONG AS YOU JUST
TOUCH ON HIS EGO.
>> I'M GOING TO TOUCH ON HIS EGO.
>> I'LL DO WHATEVER I CAN TO SELL THE PROPERTY.
I'LL GRAB HIS EGO WITH BOTH HANDS AND MASSAGE IT TILL HE
DOES.
>> HOW ARE YOU GOING TO DO THAT?
PEPPER GRIND IT.
(LAUGHTER) >> James: WE WANT THIS GUY TO
GIVE US THE LISTING.
JAMES, PAFORTNER IN THE AGENCY.
HOW ARE YOU.
>> 7500 SQUARE FEET, ON THE QUESTRON SYSTEM.
>> James: WHAT'S THAT?
YOU PUSH BUTTONS AND IT CONTROLS EVERY SINGLE THING IN
THE HOUSE.
I CAN OPEN THE DOORS AUTOMATICALLY.
>> James: THAT WAS A LITTLE SLOW.
I'VE GOT IT.
GIVE ME 15 MINUTES WHILE I CLOSE THE WINDOWS.
YOU'VE GOT A CAN OPENER IN THIS KITCHEN?
>> A CAN OPENER?
>> James: A CAN OPENER.
UH...
>> James: A CAN OPENER, SQUEEZE DOWN ON A CAN -- YOU'RE
GOING TO NEED A CAN OPENER.
IF THIS HOUSE HAD A CAN OPENER AND A BOTTLE OPENER, IT WOULD
HAVE SOLD LIKE THIS.
>> FAMILY ROOM RIGHT HERE.
>> James: WHY DON'T YOU COME FORT AND DROWN IN THIS SHALLOW
POOL OF WATER, KIDS.
>> I COME IN HERE AND SEE SEXY.
I REALLY DO.
GREAT JOB.
HOPE WE CAN REPRESENT YOU.
SORRY.
JAMES?
>> James: YEAH.
AMES?
>> James: YEAH.
AMES?
>> James: YEAH.
AMES?
>> James: YEAH.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO...
WHY DON'T WE SEE THE REST OF THE HOUSE AND IF YOU WANT TO GO
SWIMMING, I GUESS, YOU CAN -- >> JAMES, WHAT IF SOMEBODY TURNS
UP AND SAID, OH, IT'S A GOOD POOL, HOW DEEP IS IT?
YOU DON'T KNOW.
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW DEEP IT IS.
CAN I DO A RUNNING BOMB?
LET'S FIND OUT.
>> OH, MY GOD!
THIS IS TOO COLD!
>> James: THAT POOL IS (BLEEP).
IT'S AMAZING COLD.
>> HOW DEEP IS IT?
>> James: ABOUT YEA HIGH.
AND NOW I KNOW THAT.
I KNOW THE PERFECT PERSON TO SELL IT TO.
LET'S GET A TOWEL ON THIS GUY.
I WANT TO TELL YOU I'M JUST WALKING AROUND AND I'M THINKING.
YOUNG BACHELOR.
OUR MARKETING -- OUR MARKETING IS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE.
I JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT WHO WE SEEMED UP WITH AT THE AGENCY.
>> I'M GOING TO NEED TOWELS.
OH, MY GOSH!
I'M GOING TO NEED A TOWEL.
YOU'RE NAKED!
I DON'T WANT TO BE NAKED.
I'M SAYING I NEED A TOWEL.
>> JAMES, WE'RE ON A LISTING MEETING HERE.
>> THERE YOU GO.
THANK YOU, FOR THE TOWEL.
>> LET ME SHOW YOU THE REST OF THE HOUSE, THE MOST IMPORTANT
THING.
>> James: I NEED ANOTHER TOWEL.
>> I JUST GAVE YOU A TOWEL.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
GOOD JOB.
>> YOU'RE OUT OF THE TUB AND YOU SAY, HELLO, THIS IS ALL OF ME.
I'M A SUCCESSFUL GUY.
AND THAT, THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT.
ISN'T IT?
>> IT SCREAMS SUCCESS.
'S GOING TO CONVERT?
YEAH.
OH, GOOD.
LET'S MOVE ON.
I THINK WE'RE READY TO TALK.
IF I DON'T SELL THIS HOUSE FOR NORTH OF $20 MILLION, I'LL JUMP
OFF THE BALCONY.
>> I ACTUALLY BELIEVE HE WOULD DO THAT.
>> James: EVAN, GO WITH WHAT YOUR HEART TELLS YOU.
THIS IS IT.
>> HOLD ON, HOLD.
>> James: LET THE MAGNET BRING IT IN.
>> HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
>> James: DO YOU WANT ME TO GO ON --
>> LET'S DO A TIME FRAME.
90 TAS.
>> James: THREE HOURS.
WE NEED 90 DAYS.
>> James: THREE HOURS.
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
>> James: IS IT?
THERE IT IS!
LET'S ORGANIZE AN OPEN HOUSE!
LET'S DO IT.
OPEN HOUSE, GUYS!
LET'S OPEN THE GUYS AND SELL THIS PUPPY!
SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG.
DRAGGING THEIR FEET.
FOOD'S HERE.
IN WE GO.
THERE YOU GO!
THERE'S THE GUY!
THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR TIME.
LET'S GET THE KEG OPEN!
WHOA!
LET'S GET SOMEONE KNOCKING OUT SOME JOE.
IT'S HOMEY AND WARM.
SMELL THAT?
PEOPLE COME IN AND YOU WILL BE LIKE, OOH!
AH!
WHOA!
I'VE ORDERED A CHUCKLING MODEL.
YOU'VE BECOME A PIECE OF ART.
I WANT THIS HAND HERE.
FLAT HAND.
THANK YOU.
OKAY.
LOOK UP AND LOOK THERE.
JUST PRETEND YOU KNOW HOW TO READ, OKAY I?
FLAT HAND!
LOOK AT THE WALL!
COME ON IN TO PARADISE.
JELL-O SHOTS.
SAY NORTH OF 20 MILLION.
(LAUGHTER) JUDGE , HOW ARE YOU?
>> J.J., HOW ARE YOU?
GOOD.
>> James: NICE TO SEE YOU.
UST CHILLING OUT.
LET'S TALK ABOUT THE KITCHEN.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
IMPRESSED, RIGHT?
J.J., LEMONS IN THE BOWL.
COME ON.
NICE!
YEAH!
EVERYTHING YOU GOT!
>> OH!
LET'S TONE IT DOWN.
HEY, GUYS.
OW ARE YOU?
NICE TO MEET YOU.
>> James: NICE TO MEET YOU.
HOW ARE YOU?
>> BEAUTIFUL JACKET.
THANK YOU.
BEAUTIFUL JACKET.
WHAT IS THAT, PONY HAIR?
>> NO.
BEAUTIFUL.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
THAT IS A BEAUTIFUL JACKET.
CAN I TRY IT ON?
>> YES.
THANKS.
SO TELL US A LITTLE BIT MORE ABOUT --
>> (BLEEP)!
J.J., LOOK, I'VE GOT THE OCEAN THERE --
>> CAN YOU SEE STAPLES?
NO, STAPLES IS IN THE OTHER DIRECTION BUT YOU WILL BE ABLE
TO HEAR THE DEAFENING SILENCE WHEN THE LAKERS WITH PLAYING.
THIS DOESN'T COME WITH THE HOUSE.
IT'S NEGOTIABLE.
I WILL HAVE TO GIVE YOU A DISCOUNT BECAUSE HE CAN'T
JUGGLE.
>> I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.
WHAT AM I THINKING?
YOU'RE THINKING I LOVE THIS VIEW, BUT CAN I SEE THIS VIEW?
JAMES, I MEAN, WHO CAN SAY THAT?
>> THAT'S AMAZING.
MY FAVORITE PART OF THE HOUSE.
COME WITH ME.
LOOK, LET ME SHOW YOU MY FAVORITE SPOT.
IF YOU JUST STAND THERE.
ALL I'M SAYING IS WE HAVE GOT AN OFFER FROM A RIDICULOUS
BASKETBALL PLAYER WHO IS RIDICULOUSLY GOOD.
I CAN'T TELL YOU WHO IT IS, BUT HE IS RIDICULOUS.
>> THE OFFER IS IN WRITING AND WE ENCOURAGE ALL OFFERS.
>> James: THE ONLY REASON IT'S NOT IN WRITING IS HE'S A
BASKETBALL PLAYER AND THAT'S A SKILL HE DOESN'T HAVE YET.
>> THAT'S WET.
SOMEBODY WAS IN HERE EARLIER?
NO.
>> James: NOT THAT I KNOW OF.
WHAT A PLEASURE.
LET US KNOW.
>> COULD IT GET MY JACKET?
>> James: I APPRECIATE IT.
BUT WE HAVE TO GET ON.
SEE YOU SOON.
KIND OF STUCK FOR WORDS ON THAT.
WHOO!
WE'RE BACK!
HOUSE OHOW WAS IT?
>> James: HOW WAS IT?
THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
>> James: WE'LL SEE YOU OUT.
QUITE A BIT OF COMMISSION.
>> I LOVE IT.
WHEN'S HE COMING BACK.
NO, HE'S NOT COMING BACK.