Ellen Degeneres is one of the most
likeable hosts on television
and it's largely due to the types
of the jokes she makes.
Almost every host is funny
but Ellen's style of comedy
has a way of it instantly endearing
her guests to her.
With… Where will you raise the boy?
(laughs)
You are funny, Ellen.
So today we're going to talk about
the most common types of jokes
that Ellen makes,
how you can use those jokes
to get people to immediately like you,
and some habits that you can work on
to generally be funnier
and more positive throughout your day.
So let's start with the obvious -- since Ellen
is at her core a comedienne, her jokes.
Here's an example of the typical joke
that Ellen might crack.
Robyn, when were you born? What year?
'88.
'88?
1988. Yeah.
I've shoes that are, like, from '88.
(audience laughs)
I still have a couple of vests
that I wear from '88.
(laughs)
But we could talk about Ellen's style
of understated humor and how that's
different from someone like Jim Carey,
but what's most important here
is to note that Ellen's jokes
don't hurt anyone.
So often when the people
in our lives crack jokes, the room laughs
but someone there feels crappy --
that person is the butt of the joke.
For an example of this,
check out one of the few times
that I actually saw Ellen actually make a joke
at someone's expense.
…and I have to say, one of the most amazing
Liza Minnelli impersonator I have ever seen
in my entire life is the… really, seriously…
(audience applauds)
good job, sir. I mean, that is really…
(audience laughs)
You can tell by the grimace that Liza Minnelli
doesn't feel particularly good about that joke.
Now, luckily, Ellen doesn't crack
that type of joke often
but it does serve as a good reminder.
Consistently making jokes
where there is a loser
might make people laugh in the moment
but it's going to alienate someone
and if you do that often enough,
you're going to alienate most everyone
and that's good to keep in mind
because that's how a lot of us are
especially with our friends.
Let's look at what Ellen does instead.
First off, she makes herself
the butt of some of her jokes often
comparing herself unfavorably to her guests.
This is classic self-deprecating humor
and is what was going on
in that first Rihanna clip.
I've shoes that are, like, from '88.
(audience laughs)
I still have a couple of vests
that I wear from '88.
And the same thing is going on here
where Ellen jokes about
how similar she is to Malala.
If you don't know who Malala is,
she won the Nobel Peace Prize at age 17
making her the youngest recipient ever.
We want them to take action,
we want them to do something
and it's important that
you highlight it to them.
Yes, exactly.
(audience applauds)
Eighteen years old.
Eighteen years old,
I was very similar to this.
(audience laughs)
An important side note
is that when we're breaking down a joke,
the literal words are less important
than the subtext because the subtext
is often opposite to what someone
is literally saying --
that's what makes it a joke.
For example, Ellen's word said
that she is like Malala
but we all understand the subtext to be
that Ellen was nothing like Malala
at age 18.
We also understand that to be a compliment.
She's saying how mature and
inspiring Malala is at only 18 years old.
Here's another example of a different joke.
See if you can identify the subtext here.
Ellen: That's lovely. Jennifer: It's a really good feeling.
And getting a deep breath.
Yeah, yeah.
That's the most important thing too.
Especially when you have bronchitis
like me right now.
(audience laughs)
Sorry.
I was like, "Come on, --
Yeah.
-- let's have more fun with it."
Oh! (laughs)
(audience laughs)
There's no words to this joke
but the subtext might be something like,
"Jennifer is sick and I don't want her
to touch me."
Now, this joke is technically
at Jennifer Lopez's expense.
After all, not wanting her to touch you
is in the subtext.
But this particular joke is harmless.
It's not going to alienate anybody
because most people are not insecure
about being sick.
Why?
Well, as a rule of thumb,
people are unlikely to be insecure
about things that are either temporary,
common or not core to their identity.
They are likely to be more insecure
about things that are permanent,
uncommon or core to their identity.
So this joke works and doesn't upset anybody
because even though J. Lo is the butt of it,
it's not something that J. Lo is likely
to get upset about.
You can call this type of joke "poking fun."
So let's check out another joke
with the same kind of structure
and again, see if you can identify the subtext.
Stay in school.
I'm sure these people went to college.
I mean, Amy Adams,
you went to college, right?
No.
Okay, we'll let… who cares?
(audience laughs)
The subtext of the first bit
is that Amy didn't go to college.
And again, this falls into the category
of poking fun.
It's something that she's unlikely
to be insecure about
because she is a wildly successful actress.
Now, this is important --
If she had not yet made it
and was seriously doubting whether or not
she had made the right choice to skip college,
this joke might have stung.
It might have upset her identity
and in that case,
it would have been a bad idea.
So context matters.
There's also a second joke that Ellen cracks.
The subtext of the second one was that
Amy is nominated twice for an Oscar.
That's actually a subtext that builds her up.
Hear this one here really quickly.
You're an amazing actress.
You're nominated, not one,
but two nominated films tonight
that you were in.
That's just…
(audience applauds)
That is so… what is the word for it…
selfish, I guess.
(audience laughs)
This is the gold standard of jokes
that create instant likeability.
You can call them "ego boosters"
because when you make people laugh
while commenting on how successful,
good-looking, kind or likeable they are,
they will immediately like you
and want to spend more time around you.
So reflecting back on the time that you
recently made people laugh, ask yourself.
What kinds of jokes were you making?
Were they self-deprecating, poking fun,
ego boosters or you're making jokes
that had a loser?
It's important to know because
the first three tend to improve relationships
while jokes that have losers can actually
be damaging to those relationships.
And if you're stumped, it's possible that
your jokes fall into a category
of jokes that are just silly.
These are jokes that make people laugh
simply because they're surprised to them.
For example, you might have a play on words
like this one.
Uh, amazing performance
and twelve years a slave,
she is from Kenya, she is a Kenyan
and Barkhad Abdi is here.
He is nominated for a Captain Phillips.
He's from Somalia, he is a Somali
so he knows a lot about wine
and that is impressive.
(audience laughs)
Or could be just a random surprise
like walking up behind someone
while their rehearsing
and making a bunch of noise.
The end bla la la…
Bla lalalala.
(laughs)
That's probably what it would sound like.
Did that mess you up?
It's exactly that. (laughs)
Or simply making something preposterous up
like Ellen does with Will Smith
when she tells him that he has
to finish hosting the Oscars for her.
They said, they said, that you…
I quit and you're taking over?
Wou-- (laughs)
Finish it for me.
Listen, Ellen had to leave...
We have opportunities to make these kinds
of silly jokes all day long but I noticed
that very few people actually do.
Once people move through life
on a kind of literal autopilot
even though we usually all laugh
when people are silly with us.
So the big questions is --
if silly is so much fun,
why is it so difficult for some people
and so easy for others?
Why do some people always give
the boring literal answer while others
have an easier time being playful?
Ellen provides a few clues
which you can incorporate into your own life
and these might seem random but a lot
of the goofy things that she does on her show
prime her to be playful for the rest of the day.
For instance, there is the mint toss
at the beginning of her show where she
chucks a mint in the air and tries to catch it.
…or not and because you make it
look crazy easy. I mean, it's insane.
I've tried it before and it's not as easy as
you make it look.
And I don't even know why I started that.
I just kind of love to have fun and sometimes
I think, "Why am I doing that?"
(audience laughs)
Walk out and throw a mint in the air.
And it's sort of just a challenge for myself
just to kind of start in a playful mood.
There's the constant dancing scene
goofing off which is something her show
has become famous for.
And of course, the games that she plays
with her guests. It was actually Ellen and
her team that made the Heads Up app
which was one of the most popular apps
in the world for a while.
(gibberish French)
French.
Yeah, yeah.
(gibberish Swedish)
(audience laughs)
Get it? (laughs)
(gibberish Swedish)
Swedish!
Yeah!
Obviously, Ellen has the support of a talk show
and a team to make all of these games into
a larger-than-life reality but you can
incorporate the lessons that Ellen gives into
your own life and those will help make you
more playful on a day-to-day basis.
First, find a simple ritual like the mint toss
that makes you smile.
Do it the beginning of your day or prior to
walking into any interaction.
Second, move your body.
You can literally dance.
I've talked about this in tons of other videos
which I'm going to link too but just trust me,
the more expressive you are in your
movements, the funnier and more positive
you're going to be in your conversations.
And then third, find a way to bring actual
games into your interactions.
I admit, you cannot always do this in a
professional environment but in the social
world, you can whip out the Heads Up app
on your phone if you find the conversation
turning boring.
I know it might sound silly but one round
of that and it is amazing how people
brighten up and open up conversationally.
The point is, make sure to
prime yourself to be playful.
It's because that Ellen has created a lifestyle
that makes her more fun and positive
all the time that she makes
a really incredible first impression.
But of course fun isn't the only piece you need.
If you want to consistently make a great
first impression, there are four emotions
that you want to hit in order.
Most people totally get the order wrong
even if they do hit the emotions,
which is why they don't always
make a great first impression.
If you're curious about those four emotions
and, more importantly, what order you need to
hit them in, go ahead now and click the screen.
It's going to take you to another page where
you drop your email and you can get access to
a video that's going to show you those
emotions and the order that you need
to hit them in so you can use it today.
Also, if you haven't done so yet,
make sure to subscribe to the channel.
We make a new video every single week that's
going to help you master some element
of your charisma.
This week, it was charismatic humor
but we've been known to cover everything
from competence to story-telling to leadership
so if you don't want to miss a video, go ahead
and click the button to subscribe now.
Any suggestions -- leave those
in the comments below.
I'm compiling a long list now and I go
through it whenever I need a new video idea
which is basically every single week
so make sure to write down any topics
or celebrities that you like to be covered.
And of course, I hope that you have enjoyed
this video and I look forward to seeing you
in the next one.